Killer Series - 7 Steps to the Killer Negotia...

Killer Series - 7 Steps to the Killer Negotiation
ByDean Forbes

Dean Forbes
Level: Basic
Dean L. Forbes has an insatiable appetite for personal growth and self-awareness. He is extensively recognized among his colleagues and peers as one of the ... ...
 
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I have seen it explained in many ways and watched it happen on different turfs and more often than not, the posture and position is always the same. People mistakenly enter a negotiation thinking that someone has to win and someone has to lose.
I know that the dictionary's definition of negotiation states that negotiation is a compromise, a concession, a series of give and take or finding the middle ground. Personally, I think that the dictionary is limited on this subject and is quite shortsighted. There's more to a negotiation than mediocrity which is where you end up when you seek the middle ground. The middle ground is short-lived because people on one side or both sides harbor resentment for not having achieved what they set out to.
In my view, there is definitely a higher purpose in negotiation and that is to achieve a win/win. A negotiation then, by the Dean L. Forbes definition, is a synergy of two ideas, the beginning of a fruitful and long-lasting relationship; it is a series of give-and-give where the ends meet the desires of both sides.
Many people will say that this view is terribly optimistic and therefore unrealistic BUT I beg to differ because I have had the experience of both and I do know that win/win is always better than win/lose and that win/win is almost always achievable. And, even when win/win is not achievable, there is still a far better option than win/lose.
Following are the 7 Steps to the Killer Negotiation. Study them and put them into practice; I guarantee that once you do you will discover how easy it is to consistently achieve the results you desire. You will see immediate and profoundly positive results in your negotiation skills and your personal growth.
Step #1: Know What You Want
I realize that this first step is obvious and that you surely don't need lessons in it but in the spirit of being thorough, I'll cover it anyway. You never know, they may want to publish this material in the "Dummy" book "how to" series.
Ok, where were we? Right... step one.
Before you enter any negotiation, you'd better know exactly what you want and why you want it. This will come up over and over on this website; you need to have a clear mission before you move. Begin with the end in mind at all times so that each move you make will be focused and purposed in achieving your mission. The clearer you are in your mission, the easier it will be for you to navigate a negotiation.
Knowing what you want though is more than just knowing your mission - you also need to know the why so that you can master the right content. Without the why, you won't know how to process the information surrounding your mission. You will not be able to deliver your goals with clarity and precision. This means that you must answer the question of why you want what you want.
You should know how your mission will benefit you and others; you should know the impact and its significance and you should be able to clearly outline expectations. The last thing you want is to be surprised by any information you might learn during your negotiation - you must be prepared.
Step #2: Foresight is better Than Hindsight
Remember what I said just a line or two ago about being prepared? Well, this is the step where you bullet proof your preparedness. You may have heard the cliche, hindsight is 20/20 BUT I like to believe that foresight is even keener than that.
With the proper research, your foresight could be a magnificent asset in any negotiation. Before you set foot in at the negotiation table, make certain you go the extra mile on reconnaissance (That's recon for the military junkies). Find out everything you can about the market in which you are negotiating and know all you can about the other party at the table. The more you know about the other party you are negotiating with, the more you'll be able to offer.
Armed with this information, you can anticipate questions, concerns and objections and make the necessary adjustments beforehand to accommodate their needs. There is no icebreaker more powerful than providing what is needed without being asked. Performing recon duties will help you tremendously in opening up the other party to your needs.
They will view you as intuitive and considerate and whatever tension was expected to be in the room will have dissipated because of your foresight. Besides, what good is hindsight when the deal is behind you? You want to affect the deal while it's in front of you.
Step #3: Sit On the Same Side
Many negotiations start with the parties on opposite sides of the table. This is because most people view negotiations as a war between enemies so they sit on opposite sides of each other. They see each other as opponents.
This is not an effective approach because it creates distrust from the onset and those walls become harder to break down as negotiations ensue. A more effective approach is to sit on the same side of the table. This is not a war, you are not enemies and there is nothing to be gained in the others defeat. Instead of viewing the other party as an opponent, view them as partners seeking to help each other and work successfully together.
If you sit on opposite sides, the tone of the negotiation will be inflexible, standoffish and cold. Conversely, if you sit on the same side, the negotiation will suddenly become a conversation between two parties with great respect for each. You can share ideas and seek solutions without the BIG elephant in the room - no tension.
Sitting side by side removes the air of confrontation and introduces an air of camaraderie and cooperation. When you sit on the same side, it means no one is looking for a fight but you are looking for mutual and free exchange of ideas in order to reach the same goal - making each other happy.
Step #4: Understand What They Want First
This step is crucial in every aspect of your personal growth and it's an essential element of negotiation. This can be a hard step to grasp especially if you are an eager beaver and all you can think about is what you want. In fact, most of the literature I've read on negotiation encourages this maxim - focus on what you want so you can convince the other party to give in.
Again - not an effective approach. If you take the position of self-centeredness you will be speaking to a closed audience. The other party won't be open to listening to you because they don't feel as if you've listened to them - they don't feel understood.
This is why you must seek first to understand what they want. This means you have to listen emphatically to their desires, needs, goals and concerns. This is not an empty disingenuous portrayal of listening - you actually have to listen so you can truly understand what they want. Further to that, you have to desire to truly listen otherwise, you won't hear what is being said and even worse, you won't hear what's not being said.
When you truly seek to understand, you do not simply listen with the intent to reply or just to go through the motions. You should listen ardently with the intent to empathize and to help; ask follow up questions until you can clearly repeat to the other party exactly what they want and also what their main concerns are. Once you can do that you will be able to clearly point out how what you both want will benefit them and help them achieve their goal.
Step #5: Reveal Your Vision
Once you've shown the other party that you understand their needs and goals, they will be more than willing to openly listen to what you want. Now is the time to courageously reveal your vision. I say courageously because even in the face of adversity, you must be willing to put your stake in the ground as long as you believe it will be of benefit to both sides.
Do not let what the other party said sway you from your mission... you can modify your delivery based on what you've heard so far in the negotiations but the end in mind remains the same. Passionately and enthusiastically tell them your story - help them visualize why you believe this partnership can be a fruitful one.
Whatever you do, don't deter from your original vision - the one you prepared so diligently. It may contain some elements that the other party objects to but you can work that out later. The point is to infect them with your fervent delivery - make them see what you see. The more clearly you can do that, the more open they will be.
Step #6: The Third Alternative
Chances are, depending on goals and how effective you were through step 5, the negotiation could be over with both sides walking away happy. However, if there are still some things to fine tune, step 6 and 7 are essential.
The Third Alternative says that you can work together to come up with something better than what you both originally thought of. This means that one party comes to the table with one set of goals and the other with another set that don't quite meet each other's expectations. Instead of going for confrontation and win/lose, the third alternative says let's put our heads and our ideas together to create a better solution than what we thought of individually. In most cases this can be done.
Seeking creative solutions often bring out the best in people. You find that what you thought was important isn't so important after all when compared to something of higher purpose and value. Seeking the third alternative makes you highly flexible and adaptable and in so doing, no one loses and everyone wins.
Step #7: No Deal is better Than a Raw Deal
What happens if you are unable to reach a consensus? What if there is no third alternative to be had? What do you do when the deal keeps breaking?
I am a big fan of "Win/Win or Walk Away." The fact is that, no deal is better than a raw deal. At some point you have to be willing to walk away. For me, that point is when one of the parties is about to walk away with the lose side of the deal. I know that it may seem like a lofty goal to always achieve a win/win however, I do think it's possible and in the cases where it's not - I believe that the solution is to simply walk away.
Perhaps this is just bad timing. Why sour a budding relationship with a raw deal? At least if you walk away now, you leave the door open to try working together again later. If you allow one party to accept a raw deal, the relationship will be stagnated and the fruits will rot before you are able to enjoy them. If a deal cannot be struck, walk away.
Do YOU Have What It Takes to Become an Effective Negotiator?
I don't know... do you? This is a question only YOU can answer for you. I wouldn't presume to make such a prognosis from where I'm sitting. J
What I can tell you for sure is this.
It depends on what you consider effective negotiating. If you think that someone always has to win and the other has to lose, then you are off to a bad start. Many people will and do disagree with my definition of effective negotiation but I can guarantee you that these same people don't form long-lasting and fruitful relationships with the people with whom they negotiate - I have and I do - even when we don't reach a deal we can both be happy with the first time around.
So if you want to answer the question honestly, first decide if you believe this approach is the right approach and then commit to living by the principles. Then and only then do I believe you will be able to master the Killer Negotiation.
One thing I won't tell you is that anyone can do it but I'm willing to bet that anyone smart can do it.