神马文学网译言网 | 用语言选择快乐
来源：百度文库 编辑：神马文学网 时间：2024/04/29 09:37:39
用语言选择快乐
快乐是一种思想情感体现。谈话时，不同感觉（积极/消极）的语言给人带来的结果也截然不同，关键在与你自己的选择。所以如果想做个快乐的人，就好好选择你的语言吧！！
May 24th, 2009 @ 1:50 am by: Marc发表于2009年，5月24日，1：50am，作者：马克（Marc）How To Choose Happiness With Words如何用语言选择快乐
This guest post was written by Tehseen, the author of Recharge Your Mind. 客串文章由特森（Tehseen）（《给你的大脑充电》的作者）提供。
Happiness is simply a state of mind. No, I’m not implying that we can instantly heal the pain of a severe or unexpected personal tragedy just by thinking about being happy. Rather, I am referring to our levels of happiness on routine days when things in our lives are close to normal. In these neutral times, when we are neither ecstatic nor extremely sad, the slightest change in attitude can swing our happiness balance drastically in either a positive or negative direction. One of the primary factors that affect our attitude is our choice of words.开心是思想的一种简单的表达。不，我并不是指，只要想着自己的开心快乐的就能够解除一个人正经历的严重或意外的伤痛；我指的是我们日常生活中，一切都平淡无奇的时候，我们开心快乐的程度。在这些不甜不苦的日子里，当我们既没有狂喜也没有极度悲伤，态度的细微变化就可以使你的快乐在积极与消极之间剧烈的摆动。影响我们态度的主要因素之就是我们如何选择我们使用的词语。2
Words have a lot of power and influence on both the speaker and the listener. When we speak we sometimes unintentionally choose words that have a negative undertone. This can make us seem unhappy (and negative) in the eyes of others. Even worse, after we have spoken these words our unconscious mind starts believing in them. “If this is what came out of my mouth, it must be the way I truly feel.”语言的相当强大的，它影响着谈话的双方。在我们交谈的时候，有时我们会无意间用一些有消极意味的话语。这就有可能看上去不开心（消极）。更糟糕的是，我们说了这些话之后，潜意识的我们相信了这些话。“如果这些是我说的，那我这肯定是这么感觉的。”
However, this is not always true. The first fleeting words that come to mind are not necessarily the most accurate representation of our feelings and intentions. We must realize that we have the power to choose the words we use, and if we pick them carefully, they can change the way we feel.但是，这种说法并不全对。头脑中一开始闪现的话不一定就是我们的感情或者意图的最准确的表示。我们必须要认识到我们有能力选择我们用什么词语，如果我们仔细的选择的话，我们就可以改变我们因为这些词语给自己带来的感受。
Here are three typical scenarios where positive language can inject positivity and happiness into our lives.这里是积极话语可以给我们的生活注入积极和快乐的3个典型情景。
Inject Happiness into Casual Communication给随意的交流注入快乐。
Typically, when I ask someone “How are you?” they reply, “I’m fine” or “I’m okay.” But one lazy Monday afternoon last month a new colleague of mine replied, “Oh, I am fabulous!” It made me smile, so I asked him what was making him feel so fabulous and he said, “I’m healthy, my family is healthy, and we live in a free country. So I don’t have any reason not to be happy.” The difference was simply his attitude and his choice of words. He wasn’t necessarily any better off than anyone else, but he seemed twenty times happier.有代表性的一件就是，当我问一个人“你好吗？” 他们会回答，“我很好”或“我还好。”但是在上个月一个慵懒的星期一的下午，我的一个新同事回答说，“噢，棒极了！” 听到这个，我笑了，于是我问他是什么让他感觉这么好，他说道：“我很健康，我的家人也很健康，我们大家都生活在一个自由的国度。所以我没有什么理由要不开心啊。”不同的就只有他的态度和他用的词语。他没有必要比其他任何人都要好，但是他看上去却被别人快乐20倍。1
It really struck a chord with me. Suddenly I realized that I have a choice. I can either say “the glass is half empty” or “the glass is half full.” Why not rejoice in the fact that, thankfully, I don’t have anything to be terribly upset about.这一点确实引起了我极大的共鸣。我突然认识到我有选择。我可以说“杯子里只有一半水” 或“杯子里还有半杯水”。为什么不享受这个：感谢上帝，我没有什么糟糕的事情要担心的事实呢！
So now when someone asks me how I am doing, I say “I’m doing wonderful!” or “Everything is awesome!” or something similar that reflects a positive, happy mood. Since I’ve made a regular habit of doing this, multiple friends and acquaintances have noticed a positive change in my attitude. And I do genuinely feel happier. Also, it seems like the people around me are smiling more now too. So I guess it’s contagious.所以现在有人问我我怎么样的时候，我会说“非常棒！”或“万事顺利！”或者跟这个相似的反应积极和快乐心情的话。自从我习惯这么回应之后，很多朋友或认识的人都发觉我态度方面积极的改变。而且我感到真正的快乐。我身边的人现在好像也笑的更多了。所以我猜想，笑是可以传染的。
Keep Friendly Discussions Friendly让友好的讨论保持友好。
We’ve all been involved in friendly discussions that turn into heated arguments. This usually results in a complete breakdown of productive communication. The reason for this is simple. When people get into heated arguments they get unhappy, and unhappy people are not productive. More often than not these arguments transpire due to our choice of words rather than our point of views. If communicated peacefully and appropriately people usually tolerate each other’s perspectives pretty well. Hence, it’s very important to choose our words wisely even when we strongly disagree with someone.我们都参加过那种变成白热化争论的友好讨论。这么一来通常都会让一个富有成效的交流彻底崩溃。原因很简单。当人们进入激烈的争论的时候，他们不高兴了，不高兴的人是很难有产出的。这类争论的发生多半是因为我们所选择的词语，而不是我们的观点。如果交流的时候，温和，恰当一些，人们通常都能非常好的包容彼此的观点。因此，就算我们非常反对别人的观点，灵活的选择语言仍然是非常重要的。
Instead of telling the other person “You always…” try saying “Sometimes you…”. 跟别人说话时，不要说" 你总是……”而应该说“你有时候……”。
Instead of saying “That’s not true,” try saying “I don’t think I completely understand your point of view.” 不要说“那是不对的”，而应试着说“我想我不能完全认同你的观点”。1
Instead of telling your friend “I don’t want to go to that bar,” you can say “Oh, we can go to that bar too if you want, but I would rather…” 不要告诉你的朋友“ 我不想去那个酒吧，”你可以说“哦，如果你想的话，我们也可以一起去那个酒吧，但我觉得……更好。”
Using words that make the other person feel negated always creates negativity in conversations. On the other hand, choosing words that assure the listeners that their perspectives are being respected drastically improves the chances of getting your point across without heating things up.用让别人觉得被否定的话总是会给谈话带来否定和消极影响。另一方面，选用一些让听话者肯定自己的想法受到尊重的话，对于让你自己的观点被对方理解，且不使问题热化具有非常强大的促进作用。
Wendell Johnson once said:温戴尔·约翰森（Wendell Johnson）曾今说过：
Always and never are two words you should always remember never to use.“你要记住，永远不要用‘总是’和‘从不’两个词。”
Maintain a Hopeful Outlook保持一个“总有希望”的想法。
When we are talking or thinking about ourselves we are typically the least careful with our choice of words. We assume that there are no restrictions on what to say or how to think about our own person. In some situations this might be true, but the positivity or negativity of our words and thoughts still affect us.当我们在谈论或者审视自己的时候，我
用语言选择快乐
Maggie chen
于2010-07-21 16:12:23翻译 | 已有444人浏览
快乐是一种思想情感体现。谈话时，不同感觉（积极/消极）的语言给人带来的结果也截然不同，关键在与你自己的选择。所以如果想做个快乐的人，就好好选择你的语言吧！！
Tags:快乐 |语言 |影响 |选择
May 24th, 2009 @ 1:50 am by: Marc发表于2009年，5月24日，1：50am，作者：马克（Marc）
How To Choose Happiness With Words如何用语言选择快乐
This guest post was written by Tehseen, the author of Recharge Your Mind. 客串文章由特森（Tehseen）（《给你的大脑充电》的作者）提供。
Happiness is simply a state of mind. No, I’m not implying that we can instantly heal the pain of a severe or unexpected personal tragedy just by thinking about being happy. Rather, I am referring to our levels of happiness on routine days when things in our lives are close to normal. In these neutral times, when we are neither ecstatic nor extremely sad, the slightest change in attitude can swing our happiness balance drastically in either a positive or negative direction. One of the primary factors that affect our attitude is our choice of words.开心是思想的一种简单的表达。不，我并不是指，只要想着自己的开心快乐的就能够解除一个人正经历的严重或意外的伤痛；我指的是我们日常生活中，一切都平淡无奇的时候，我们开心快乐的程度。在这些不甜不苦的日子里，当我们既没有狂喜也没有极度悲伤，态度的细微变化就可以使你的快乐在积极与消极之间剧烈的摆动。影响我们态度的主要因素之就是我们如何选择我们使用的词语。2
Words have a lot of power and influence on both the speaker and the listener. When we speak we sometimes unintentionally choose words that have a negative undertone. This can make us seem unhappy (and negative) in the eyes of others. Even worse, after we have spoken these words our unconscious mind starts believing in them. “If this is what came out of my mouth, it must be the way I truly feel.”语言的相当强大的，它影响着谈话的双方。在我们交谈的时候，有时我们会无意间用一些有消极意味的话语。这就有可能看上去不开心（消极）。更糟糕的是，我们说了这些话之后，潜意识的我们相信了这些话。“如果这些是我说的，那我这肯定是这么感觉的。”
However, this is not always true. The first fleeting words that come to mind are not necessarily the most accurate representation of our feelings and intentions. We must realize that we have the power to choose the words we use, and if we pick them carefully, they can change the way we feel.但是，这种说法并不全对。头脑中一开始闪现的话不一定就是我们的感情或者意图的最准确的表示。我们必须要认识到我们有能力选择我们用什么词语，如果我们仔细的选择的话，我们就可以改变我们因为这些词语给自己带来的感受。
Here are three typical scenarios where positive language can inject positivity and happiness into our lives.这里是积极话语可以给我们的生活注入积极和快乐的3个典型情景。
Inject Happiness into Casual Communication给随意的交流注入快乐。
Typically, when I ask someone “How are you?” they reply, “I’m fine” or “I’m okay.” But one lazy Monday afternoon last month a new colleague of mine replied, “Oh, I am fabulous!” It made me smile, so I asked him what was making him feel so fabulous and he said, “I’m healthy, my family is healthy, and we live in a free country. So I don’t have any reason not to be happy.” The difference was simply his attitude and his choice of words. He wasn’t necessarily any better off than anyone else, but he seemed twenty times happier.有代表性的一件就是，当我问一个人“你好吗？” 他们会回答，“我很好”或“我还好。”但是在上个月一个慵懒的星期一的下午，我的一个新同事回答说，“噢，棒极了！” 听到这个，我笑了，于是我问他是什么让他感觉这么好，他说道：“我很健康，我的家人也很健康，我们大家都生活在一个自由的国度。所以我没有什么理由要不开心啊。”不同的就只有他的态度和他用的词语。他没有必要比其他任何人都要好，但是他看上去却被别人快乐20倍。1
It really struck a chord with me. Suddenly I realized that I have a choice. I can either say “the glass is half empty” or “the glass is half full.” Why not rejoice in the fact that, thankfully, I don’t have anything to be terribly upset about.这一点确实引起了我极大的共鸣。我突然认识到我有选择。我可以说“杯子里只有一半水” 或“杯子里还有半杯水”。为什么不享受这个：感谢上帝，我没有什么糟糕的事情要担心的事实呢！
So now when someone asks me how I am doing, I say “I’m doing wonderful!” or “Everything is awesome!” or something similar that reflects a positive, happy mood. Since I’ve made a regular habit of doing this, multiple friends and acquaintances have noticed a positive change in my attitude. And I do genuinely feel happier. Also, it seems like the people around me are smiling more now too. So I guess it’s contagious.所以现在有人问我我怎么样的时候，我会说“非常棒！”或“万事顺利！”或者跟这个相似的反应积极和快乐心情的话。自从我习惯这么回应之后，很多朋友或认识的人都发觉我态度方面积极的改变。而且我感到真正的快乐。我身边的人现在好像也笑的更多了。所以我猜想，笑是可以传染的。
Keep Friendly Discussions Friendly让友好的讨论保持友好。
We’ve all been involved in friendly discussions that turn into heated arguments. This usually results in a complete breakdown of productive communication. The reason for this is simple. When people get into heated arguments they get unhappy, and unhappy people are not productive. More often than not these arguments transpire due to our choice of words rather than our point of views. If communicated peacefully and appropriately people usually tolerate each other’s perspectives pretty well. Hence, it’s very important to choose our words wisely even when we strongly disagree with someone.我们都参加过那种变成白热化争论的友好讨论。这么一来通常都会让一个富有成效的交流彻底崩溃。原因很简单。当人们进入激烈的争论的时候，他们不高兴了，不高兴的人是很难有产出的。这类争论的发生多半是因为我们所选择的词语，而不是我们的观点。如果交流的时候，温和，恰当一些，人们通常都能非常好的包容彼此的观点。因此，就算我们非常反对别人的观点，灵活的选择语言仍然是非常重要的。
Instead of telling the other person “You always…” try saying “Sometimes you…”. 跟别人说话时，不要说" 你总是……”而应该说“你有时候……”。
Instead of saying “That’s not true,” try saying “I don’t think I completely understand your point of view.” 不要说“那是不对的”，而应试着说“我想我不能完全认同你的观点”。1
Instead of telling your friend “I don’t want to go to that bar,” you can say “Oh, we can go to that bar too if you want, but I would rather…” 不要告诉你的朋友“ 我不想去那个酒吧，”你可以说“哦，如果你想的话，我们也可以一起去那个酒吧，但我觉得……更好。”
Using words that make the other person feel negated always creates negativity in conversations. On the other hand, choosing words that assure the listeners that their perspectives are being respected drastically improves the chances of getting your point across without heating things up.用让别人觉得被否定的话总是会给谈话带来否定和消极影响。另一方面，选用一些让听话者肯定自己的想法受到尊重的话，对于让你自己的观点被对方理解，且不使问题热化具有非常强大的促进作用。
Wendell Johnson once said:温戴尔·约翰森（Wendell Johnson）曾今说过：
Always and never are two words you should always remember never to use.“你要记住，永远不要用‘总是’和‘从不’两个词。”
Maintain a Hopeful Outlook保持一个“总有希望”的想法。
When we are talking or thinking about ourselves we are typically the least careful with our choice of words. We assume that there are no restrictions on what to say or how to think about our own person. In some situations this might be true, but the positivity or negativity of our words and thoughts still affect us.当我们在谈论或者审视自己的时候，我们最容易忽视自己所选的词语。我们以为在说我们如何审视自己人的时候，没有任何限制。这可能在有些情况下成立，但是我们话语中积极和消极的意味仍然会影响我们。
For example, there is a huge difference between saying “I wish I have a house that big someday” versus “It would be great to have a house that big someday.” The latter gives a greater sense of possibility and confidence which allows us to believe that ‘yes’ it is possible and ‘yes’ it could happen one day. Whereas, using words like ‘I wish’ makes it seem unreachable and impossible, which generally leads to feelings of discontentment.例如，在说“我希望将来有一天，我又一座大房子。”和“如果有一天我有一座大房子那就太好了”两句话时，就有很大的区别。后者给人的积极和自信的感觉更加强烈，让人不禁相信，“是的”那是可能的，“是的”总有一天它会到来的。相反，用如“我希望”感觉像是不可实现的愿望，从而使人感到不满足。
Conclusion结论
These are just some simple examples that illustrate how important it is to choose and use positive words. Remember, our words transparently coincide with our mindset. Positive language creates a healthy balance between our mind and our heart.上面的这些事例只是简单的证明一下选择和使用积极的词语的重要性。记住，我们的话是我们思想的直接体现。积极的语言给我们的思想和心灵创造健康的平衡。
们最容易忽视自己所选的词语。我们以为在说我们如何审视自己人的时候，没有任何限制。这可能在有些情况下成立，但是我们话语中积极和消极的意味仍然会影响我们。
For example, there is a huge difference between saying “I wish I have a house that big someday” versus “It would be great to have a house that big someday.” The latter gives a greater sense of possibility and confidence which allows us to believe that ‘yes’ it is possible and ‘yes’ it could happen one day. Whereas, using words like ‘I wish’ makes it seem unreachable and impossible, which generally leads to feelings of discontentment.例如，在说“我希望将来有一天，我又一座大房子。”和“如果有一天我有一座大房子那就太好了”两句话时，就有很大的区别。后者给人的积极和自信的感觉更加强烈，让人不禁相信，“是的”那是可能的，“是的”总有一天它会到来的。相反，用如“我希望”感觉像是不可实现的愿望，从而使人感到不满足。
Conclusion结论
These are just some simple examples that illustrate how important it is to choose and use positive words. Remember, our words transparently coincide with our mindset. Positive language creates a healthy balance between our mind and our heart.上面的这些事例只是简单的证明一下选择和使用积极的词语的重要性。记住，我们的话是我们思想的直接体现。积极的语言给我们的思想和心灵创造健康的平衡。
快乐是一种思想情感体现。谈话时，不同感觉（积极/消极）的语言给人带来的结果也截然不同，关键在与你自己的选择。所以如果想做个快乐的人，就好好选择你的语言吧！！
May 24th, 2009 @ 1:50 am by: Marc发表于2009年，5月24日，1：50am，作者：马克（Marc）How To Choose Happiness With Words如何用语言选择快乐
This guest post was written by Tehseen, the author of Recharge Your Mind. 客串文章由特森（Tehseen）（《给你的大脑充电》的作者）提供。
Happiness is simply a state of mind. No, I’m not implying that we can instantly heal the pain of a severe or unexpected personal tragedy just by thinking about being happy. Rather, I am referring to our levels of happiness on routine days when things in our lives are close to normal. In these neutral times, when we are neither ecstatic nor extremely sad, the slightest change in attitude can swing our happiness balance drastically in either a positive or negative direction. One of the primary factors that affect our attitude is our choice of words.开心是思想的一种简单的表达。不，我并不是指，只要想着自己的开心快乐的就能够解除一个人正经历的严重或意外的伤痛；我指的是我们日常生活中，一切都平淡无奇的时候，我们开心快乐的程度。在这些不甜不苦的日子里，当我们既没有狂喜也没有极度悲伤，态度的细微变化就可以使你的快乐在积极与消极之间剧烈的摆动。影响我们态度的主要因素之就是我们如何选择我们使用的词语。2
Words have a lot of power and influence on both the speaker and the listener. When we speak we sometimes unintentionally choose words that have a negative undertone. This can make us seem unhappy (and negative) in the eyes of others. Even worse, after we have spoken these words our unconscious mind starts believing in them. “If this is what came out of my mouth, it must be the way I truly feel.”语言的相当强大的，它影响着谈话的双方。在我们交谈的时候，有时我们会无意间用一些有消极意味的话语。这就有可能看上去不开心（消极）。更糟糕的是，我们说了这些话之后，潜意识的我们相信了这些话。“如果这些是我说的，那我这肯定是这么感觉的。”
However, this is not always true. The first fleeting words that come to mind are not necessarily the most accurate representation of our feelings and intentions. We must realize that we have the power to choose the words we use, and if we pick them carefully, they can change the way we feel.但是，这种说法并不全对。头脑中一开始闪现的话不一定就是我们的感情或者意图的最准确的表示。我们必须要认识到我们有能力选择我们用什么词语，如果我们仔细的选择的话，我们就可以改变我们因为这些词语给自己带来的感受。
Here are three typical scenarios where positive language can inject positivity and happiness into our lives.这里是积极话语可以给我们的生活注入积极和快乐的3个典型情景。
Inject Happiness into Casual Communication给随意的交流注入快乐。
Typically, when I ask someone “How are you?” they reply, “I’m fine” or “I’m okay.” But one lazy Monday afternoon last month a new colleague of mine replied, “Oh, I am fabulous!” It made me smile, so I asked him what was making him feel so fabulous and he said, “I’m healthy, my family is healthy, and we live in a free country. So I don’t have any reason not to be happy.” The difference was simply his attitude and his choice of words. He wasn’t necessarily any better off than anyone else, but he seemed twenty times happier.有代表性的一件就是，当我问一个人“你好吗？” 他们会回答，“我很好”或“我还好。”但是在上个月一个慵懒的星期一的下午，我的一个新同事回答说，“噢，棒极了！” 听到这个，我笑了，于是我问他是什么让他感觉这么好，他说道：“我很健康，我的家人也很健康，我们大家都生活在一个自由的国度。所以我没有什么理由要不开心啊。”不同的就只有他的态度和他用的词语。他没有必要比其他任何人都要好，但是他看上去却被别人快乐20倍。1
It really struck a chord with me. Suddenly I realized that I have a choice. I can either say “the glass is half empty” or “the glass is half full.” Why not rejoice in the fact that, thankfully, I don’t have anything to be terribly upset about.这一点确实引起了我极大的共鸣。我突然认识到我有选择。我可以说“杯子里只有一半水” 或“杯子里还有半杯水”。为什么不享受这个：感谢上帝，我没有什么糟糕的事情要担心的事实呢！
So now when someone asks me how I am doing, I say “I’m doing wonderful!” or “Everything is awesome!” or something similar that reflects a positive, happy mood. Since I’ve made a regular habit of doing this, multiple friends and acquaintances have noticed a positive change in my attitude. And I do genuinely feel happier. Also, it seems like the people around me are smiling more now too. So I guess it’s contagious.所以现在有人问我我怎么样的时候，我会说“非常棒！”或“万事顺利！”或者跟这个相似的反应积极和快乐心情的话。自从我习惯这么回应之后，很多朋友或认识的人都发觉我态度方面积极的改变。而且我感到真正的快乐。我身边的人现在好像也笑的更多了。所以我猜想，笑是可以传染的。
Keep Friendly Discussions Friendly让友好的讨论保持友好。
We’ve all been involved in friendly discussions that turn into heated arguments. This usually results in a complete breakdown of productive communication. The reason for this is simple. When people get into heated arguments they get unhappy, and unhappy people are not productive. More often than not these arguments transpire due to our choice of words rather than our point of views. If communicated peacefully and appropriately people usually tolerate each other’s perspectives pretty well. Hence, it’s very important to choose our words wisely even when we strongly disagree with someone.我们都参加过那种变成白热化争论的友好讨论。这么一来通常都会让一个富有成效的交流彻底崩溃。原因很简单。当人们进入激烈的争论的时候，他们不高兴了，不高兴的人是很难有产出的。这类争论的发生多半是因为我们所选择的词语，而不是我们的观点。如果交流的时候，温和，恰当一些，人们通常都能非常好的包容彼此的观点。因此，就算我们非常反对别人的观点，灵活的选择语言仍然是非常重要的。
Instead of telling the other person “You always…” try saying “Sometimes you…”. 跟别人说话时，不要说" 你总是……”而应该说“你有时候……”。
Instead of saying “That’s not true,” try saying “I don’t think I completely understand your point of view.” 不要说“那是不对的”，而应试着说“我想我不能完全认同你的观点”。1
Instead of telling your friend “I don’t want to go to that bar,” you can say “Oh, we can go to that bar too if you want, but I would rather…” 不要告诉你的朋友“ 我不想去那个酒吧，”你可以说“哦，如果你想的话，我们也可以一起去那个酒吧，但我觉得……更好。”
Using words that make the other person feel negated always creates negativity in conversations. On the other hand, choosing words that assure the listeners that their perspectives are being respected drastically improves the chances of getting your point across without heating things up.用让别人觉得被否定的话总是会给谈话带来否定和消极影响。另一方面，选用一些让听话者肯定自己的想法受到尊重的话，对于让你自己的观点被对方理解，且不使问题热化具有非常强大的促进作用。
Wendell Johnson once said:温戴尔·约翰森（Wendell Johnson）曾今说过：
Always and never are two words you should always remember never to use.“你要记住，永远不要用‘总是’和‘从不’两个词。”
Maintain a Hopeful Outlook保持一个“总有希望”的想法。
When we are talking or thinking about ourselves we are typically the least careful with our choice of words. We assume that there are no restrictions on what to say or how to think about our own person. In some situations this might be true, but the positivity or negativity of our words and thoughts still affect us.当我们在谈论或者审视自己的时候，我
用语言选择快乐
Maggie chen
于2010-07-21 16:12:23翻译 | 已有444人浏览
快乐是一种思想情感体现。谈话时，不同感觉（积极/消极）的语言给人带来的结果也截然不同，关键在与你自己的选择。所以如果想做个快乐的人，就好好选择你的语言吧！！
Tags:快乐 |语言 |影响 |选择
May 24th, 2009 @ 1:50 am by: Marc发表于2009年，5月24日，1：50am，作者：马克（Marc）
How To Choose Happiness With Words如何用语言选择快乐
This guest post was written by Tehseen, the author of Recharge Your Mind. 客串文章由特森（Tehseen）（《给你的大脑充电》的作者）提供。
Happiness is simply a state of mind. No, I’m not implying that we can instantly heal the pain of a severe or unexpected personal tragedy just by thinking about being happy. Rather, I am referring to our levels of happiness on routine days when things in our lives are close to normal. In these neutral times, when we are neither ecstatic nor extremely sad, the slightest change in attitude can swing our happiness balance drastically in either a positive or negative direction. One of the primary factors that affect our attitude is our choice of words.开心是思想的一种简单的表达。不，我并不是指，只要想着自己的开心快乐的就能够解除一个人正经历的严重或意外的伤痛；我指的是我们日常生活中，一切都平淡无奇的时候，我们开心快乐的程度。在这些不甜不苦的日子里，当我们既没有狂喜也没有极度悲伤，态度的细微变化就可以使你的快乐在积极与消极之间剧烈的摆动。影响我们态度的主要因素之就是我们如何选择我们使用的词语。2
Words have a lot of power and influence on both the speaker and the listener. When we speak we sometimes unintentionally choose words that have a negative undertone. This can make us seem unhappy (and negative) in the eyes of others. Even worse, after we have spoken these words our unconscious mind starts believing in them. “If this is what came out of my mouth, it must be the way I truly feel.”语言的相当强大的，它影响着谈话的双方。在我们交谈的时候，有时我们会无意间用一些有消极意味的话语。这就有可能看上去不开心（消极）。更糟糕的是，我们说了这些话之后，潜意识的我们相信了这些话。“如果这些是我说的，那我这肯定是这么感觉的。”
However, this is not always true. The first fleeting words that come to mind are not necessarily the most accurate representation of our feelings and intentions. We must realize that we have the power to choose the words we use, and if we pick them carefully, they can change the way we feel.但是，这种说法并不全对。头脑中一开始闪现的话不一定就是我们的感情或者意图的最准确的表示。我们必须要认识到我们有能力选择我们用什么词语，如果我们仔细的选择的话，我们就可以改变我们因为这些词语给自己带来的感受。
Here are three typical scenarios where positive language can inject positivity and happiness into our lives.这里是积极话语可以给我们的生活注入积极和快乐的3个典型情景。
Inject Happiness into Casual Communication给随意的交流注入快乐。
Typically, when I ask someone “How are you?” they reply, “I’m fine” or “I’m okay.” But one lazy Monday afternoon last month a new colleague of mine replied, “Oh, I am fabulous!” It made me smile, so I asked him what was making him feel so fabulous and he said, “I’m healthy, my family is healthy, and we live in a free country. So I don’t have any reason not to be happy.” The difference was simply his attitude and his choice of words. He wasn’t necessarily any better off than anyone else, but he seemed twenty times happier.有代表性的一件就是，当我问一个人“你好吗？” 他们会回答，“我很好”或“我还好。”但是在上个月一个慵懒的星期一的下午，我的一个新同事回答说，“噢，棒极了！” 听到这个，我笑了，于是我问他是什么让他感觉这么好，他说道：“我很健康，我的家人也很健康，我们大家都生活在一个自由的国度。所以我没有什么理由要不开心啊。”不同的就只有他的态度和他用的词语。他没有必要比其他任何人都要好，但是他看上去却被别人快乐20倍。1
It really struck a chord with me. Suddenly I realized that I have a choice. I can either say “the glass is half empty” or “the glass is half full.” Why not rejoice in the fact that, thankfully, I don’t have anything to be terribly upset about.这一点确实引起了我极大的共鸣。我突然认识到我有选择。我可以说“杯子里只有一半水” 或“杯子里还有半杯水”。为什么不享受这个：感谢上帝，我没有什么糟糕的事情要担心的事实呢！
So now when someone asks me how I am doing, I say “I’m doing wonderful!” or “Everything is awesome!” or something similar that reflects a positive, happy mood. Since I’ve made a regular habit of doing this, multiple friends and acquaintances have noticed a positive change in my attitude. And I do genuinely feel happier. Also, it seems like the people around me are smiling more now too. So I guess it’s contagious.所以现在有人问我我怎么样的时候，我会说“非常棒！”或“万事顺利！”或者跟这个相似的反应积极和快乐心情的话。自从我习惯这么回应之后，很多朋友或认识的人都发觉我态度方面积极的改变。而且我感到真正的快乐。我身边的人现在好像也笑的更多了。所以我猜想，笑是可以传染的。
Keep Friendly Discussions Friendly让友好的讨论保持友好。
We’ve all been involved in friendly discussions that turn into heated arguments. This usually results in a complete breakdown of productive communication. The reason for this is simple. When people get into heated arguments they get unhappy, and unhappy people are not productive. More often than not these arguments transpire due to our choice of words rather than our point of views. If communicated peacefully and appropriately people usually tolerate each other’s perspectives pretty well. Hence, it’s very important to choose our words wisely even when we strongly disagree with someone.我们都参加过那种变成白热化争论的友好讨论。这么一来通常都会让一个富有成效的交流彻底崩溃。原因很简单。当人们进入激烈的争论的时候，他们不高兴了，不高兴的人是很难有产出的。这类争论的发生多半是因为我们所选择的词语，而不是我们的观点。如果交流的时候，温和，恰当一些，人们通常都能非常好的包容彼此的观点。因此，就算我们非常反对别人的观点，灵活的选择语言仍然是非常重要的。
Instead of telling the other person “You always…” try saying “Sometimes you…”. 跟别人说话时，不要说" 你总是……”而应该说“你有时候……”。
Instead of saying “That’s not true,” try saying “I don’t think I completely understand your point of view.” 不要说“那是不对的”，而应试着说“我想我不能完全认同你的观点”。1
Instead of telling your friend “I don’t want to go to that bar,” you can say “Oh, we can go to that bar too if you want, but I would rather…” 不要告诉你的朋友“ 我不想去那个酒吧，”你可以说“哦，如果你想的话，我们也可以一起去那个酒吧，但我觉得……更好。”
Using words that make the other person feel negated always creates negativity in conversations. On the other hand, choosing words that assure the listeners that their perspectives are being respected drastically improves the chances of getting your point across without heating things up.用让别人觉得被否定的话总是会给谈话带来否定和消极影响。另一方面，选用一些让听话者肯定自己的想法受到尊重的话，对于让你自己的观点被对方理解，且不使问题热化具有非常强大的促进作用。
Wendell Johnson once said:温戴尔·约翰森（Wendell Johnson）曾今说过：
Always and never are two words you should always remember never to use.“你要记住，永远不要用‘总是’和‘从不’两个词。”
Maintain a Hopeful Outlook保持一个“总有希望”的想法。
When we are talking or thinking about ourselves we are typically the least careful with our choice of words. We assume that there are no restrictions on what to say or how to think about our own person. In some situations this might be true, but the positivity or negativity of our words and thoughts still affect us.当我们在谈论或者审视自己的时候，我们最容易忽视自己所选的词语。我们以为在说我们如何审视自己人的时候，没有任何限制。这可能在有些情况下成立，但是我们话语中积极和消极的意味仍然会影响我们。
For example, there is a huge difference between saying “I wish I have a house that big someday” versus “It would be great to have a house that big someday.” The latter gives a greater sense of possibility and confidence which allows us to believe that ‘yes’ it is possible and ‘yes’ it could happen one day. Whereas, using words like ‘I wish’ makes it seem unreachable and impossible, which generally leads to feelings of discontentment.例如，在说“我希望将来有一天，我又一座大房子。”和“如果有一天我有一座大房子那就太好了”两句话时，就有很大的区别。后者给人的积极和自信的感觉更加强烈，让人不禁相信，“是的”那是可能的，“是的”总有一天它会到来的。相反，用如“我希望”感觉像是不可实现的愿望，从而使人感到不满足。
Conclusion结论
These are just some simple examples that illustrate how important it is to choose and use positive words. Remember, our words transparently coincide with our mindset. Positive language creates a healthy balance between our mind and our heart.上面的这些事例只是简单的证明一下选择和使用积极的词语的重要性。记住，我们的话是我们思想的直接体现。积极的语言给我们的思想和心灵创造健康的平衡。
们最容易忽视自己所选的词语。我们以为在说我们如何审视自己人的时候，没有任何限制。这可能在有些情况下成立，但是我们话语中积极和消极的意味仍然会影响我们。
For example, there is a huge difference between saying “I wish I have a house that big someday” versus “It would be great to have a house that big someday.” The latter gives a greater sense of possibility and confidence which allows us to believe that ‘yes’ it is possible and ‘yes’ it could happen one day. Whereas, using words like ‘I wish’ makes it seem unreachable and impossible, which generally leads to feelings of discontentment.例如，在说“我希望将来有一天，我又一座大房子。”和“如果有一天我有一座大房子那就太好了”两句话时，就有很大的区别。后者给人的积极和自信的感觉更加强烈，让人不禁相信，“是的”那是可能的，“是的”总有一天它会到来的。相反，用如“我希望”感觉像是不可实现的愿望，从而使人感到不满足。
Conclusion结论
These are just some simple examples that illustrate how important it is to choose and use positive words. Remember, our words transparently coincide with our mindset. Positive language creates a healthy balance between our mind and our heart.上面的这些事例只是简单的证明一下选择和使用积极的词语的重要性。记住，我们的话是我们思想的直接体现。积极的语言给我们的思想和心灵创造健康的平衡。