泰晤士报:光顾北京的“阳物餐馆”
来源:百度文库 编辑:神马文学网 时间:2024/04/29 20:20:08
From The Sunday Times
March 16, 2008
China's penis restaurant
There are several varieties of steamed, roasted and boiled penis at Beijing’s quirkiest diner
Stefan Gates
Read our China travel special
I’m visiting the Guo-li-zhuang restaurant, a specialist penis and testicle emporium that caters mainly to wealthy businessmen and Communist party officials (who, truth be told, are often one and the same).
It offers every conceivable John Thomas you could ever want, which probably isn’t very many. Nonetheless, the menu is both extensive and impressive.
The place looks like a smart kaiseki ryori (Japanese haute cuisine) formal restaurant, complete with underfloor stream, separate secluded dining rooms and hushed, discreet staff. I have come determined to avoid euphemisms - we’re making a current-affairs programme for the BBC - but I’ll admit the temptation is strong.
Related Internet Links
Read 280 articles in our Food and Travel section
Related Links
The world's wildest delicacies
I ask a chef to show us the preparation of a penis first, so that I can get a feel for the process. He enters holding aloft an eye-wateringly large yak’s knob. It’s about 45cm long, but thin, so thin. It’s been boiled gently and - I can’t believe I’m writing this - peeled, except for a hunk of foreskin still clinging on to the end. He cuts the thing in half lengthways with a pair of scissors.
As he chops through the very tip of this impressive member, I feel an undeniable empathy twitch in my own penis and a bizarre feeling of nausea in my groin. (I didn’t think groins could experience nausea.) I can’t help yelping in sympathy.
He then uses a knife to make hundreds of little snips along the side of the penis and chops the strips into 5cm pieces. When these are dropped into boiling stock, they curl up into little flower shapes that are so incongruous, I can barely believe my eyes.
I ask the chef if he thinks it strange to deal exclusively in genitalia, but he shrugs and doesn’t know what to say. He’s just happy to have a good job, really. His friends don’t take the mickey, his parents are proud of him and he does what he’s told. Okay.
Less taciturn is the female manager of the place, who says that Chinese history is one of famine, poverty, drought and disaster, which is why the Chinese have become used to eating every part of the animal - they have to extract every edible morsel from the food they have.
I ask if this is good communist food, and she proudly says that most of her customers are male Communist party members. Their meal costs an average of two months’ wages for a dumpling-factory worker, and I ask how a conscientious Communist can be seen here (paying up to £250 for the rarer penises) when the average peasant is on the poverty line.
She holds her hands up in the air and tells me that they come for the virility benefits genital-eating offers. Apparently, you can go for hours after eating a good portion of penis.
We try the water-buffalo penis first, in thin shavings. It started long and thin, but someone has shredded this noble old chap on a mandolin. It has the texture of squid and tastes of the mild chilli stock it’s been poached in.
We are given three sauces to dip it into - lemon and soy, chilli and soy, and a sesame-seed paste. It’s good, and the penile nature of the meat lends an undeniable frisson of excitement to the meal. I tell the boss that “it’s the first time I’ve had penis in my mouth, but I like it and I’m going to do more of it”. Well, someone had to say it.
She seems pleased, and pours me some deer-penis juice, which I’m delighted to say is the vilest concoction I’ve ever had the privilege to imbibe. It’s as sour as a smacked lemon and as bitter as neat quinine. My face freezes in an agonising spasm, and Lord knows how I manage to keep from throwing up. Mr Hoo, the driver, asks if I want any more, and when I shake my spasming head, he grins and downs it in one. I pity Mrs Hoo - she’s going to have a busy night.
We try goat’s penis, chicken feet, bull’s penis tip (that’ll keep you up all night too, the boss warns), terrapin leg and all manner of radishes. I’m offered dog’s penis (“The only one with a bone in it”, and served with a glacé cherry placed pointlessly on the tip), but decline.
All the knobs have intriguing, delicate and bizarre textures, although the flavour is mainly of pork braised in hot stock. My favourite dish of all is undoubtedly bull’s perineum – a delicate piece of flesh, the size of a chicken oyster, which has been poached, then slow-fried.
It’s sweet and crispy, with a deep taste of soy and honey.
Yan Yan, my guide, isn’t too keen on penis, but she’s adventurous in the face of adversity, and tries most things with a curled lip. Just before we go, I ask why the girls get off lightly. Why don’t they serve any female genitalia?
The boss bursts into giggly, embarrassed laughter. “That’s a crazy idea - why would anyone want to do that?”
“Well, because it’s protein and you Chinese are renowned for eating everything.”
“Don’t be insane,” she says. Then she remembers that she’s heard of a dish of donkey vulva, but she’s not sure where. She thinks it’s a disgusting idea.
Extracted from In the Danger Zone by Stefan Gates (BBC Books £15.99). To buy a copy for £14.39, including p&p, call The Sunday Times BooksFirst on 0870 165 8585. The third series of Cooking in the Danger Zone begins on BBC2 at 7pm tonight
泰晤士报:光顾北京的“阳物餐馆”
中国网 china.com.cn 时间: 2008-03-26发表评论>>
英国《泰晤士报》:令我不敢相信自己眼睛的菜肴
(作者 Stefan Gates/编译 王永生)
我在光顾北京的锅里壮餐馆,那里是......
March 16, 2008
China's penis restaurant
There are several varieties of steamed, roasted and boiled penis at Beijing’s quirkiest diner
Stefan Gates
Read our China travel special
I’m visiting the Guo-li-zhuang restaurant, a specialist penis and testicle emporium that caters mainly to wealthy businessmen and Communist party officials (who, truth be told, are often one and the same).
It offers every conceivable John Thomas you could ever want, which probably isn’t very many. Nonetheless, the menu is both extensive and impressive.
The place looks like a smart kaiseki ryori (Japanese haute cuisine) formal restaurant, complete with underfloor stream, separate secluded dining rooms and hushed, discreet staff. I have come determined to avoid euphemisms - we’re making a current-affairs programme for the BBC - but I’ll admit the temptation is strong.
Related Internet Links
Read 280 articles in our Food and Travel section
Related Links
The world's wildest delicacies
I ask a chef to show us the preparation of a penis first, so that I can get a feel for the process. He enters holding aloft an eye-wateringly large yak’s knob. It’s about 45cm long, but thin, so thin. It’s been boiled gently and - I can’t believe I’m writing this - peeled, except for a hunk of foreskin still clinging on to the end. He cuts the thing in half lengthways with a pair of scissors.
As he chops through the very tip of this impressive member, I feel an undeniable empathy twitch in my own penis and a bizarre feeling of nausea in my groin. (I didn’t think groins could experience nausea.) I can’t help yelping in sympathy.
He then uses a knife to make hundreds of little snips along the side of the penis and chops the strips into 5cm pieces. When these are dropped into boiling stock, they curl up into little flower shapes that are so incongruous, I can barely believe my eyes.
I ask the chef if he thinks it strange to deal exclusively in genitalia, but he shrugs and doesn’t know what to say. He’s just happy to have a good job, really. His friends don’t take the mickey, his parents are proud of him and he does what he’s told. Okay.
Less taciturn is the female manager of the place, who says that Chinese history is one of famine, poverty, drought and disaster, which is why the Chinese have become used to eating every part of the animal - they have to extract every edible morsel from the food they have.
I ask if this is good communist food, and she proudly says that most of her customers are male Communist party members. Their meal costs an average of two months’ wages for a dumpling-factory worker, and I ask how a conscientious Communist can be seen here (paying up to £250 for the rarer penises) when the average peasant is on the poverty line.
She holds her hands up in the air and tells me that they come for the virility benefits genital-eating offers. Apparently, you can go for hours after eating a good portion of penis.
We try the water-buffalo penis first, in thin shavings. It started long and thin, but someone has shredded this noble old chap on a mandolin. It has the texture of squid and tastes of the mild chilli stock it’s been poached in.
We are given three sauces to dip it into - lemon and soy, chilli and soy, and a sesame-seed paste. It’s good, and the penile nature of the meat lends an undeniable frisson of excitement to the meal. I tell the boss that “it’s the first time I’ve had penis in my mouth, but I like it and I’m going to do more of it”. Well, someone had to say it.
She seems pleased, and pours me some deer-penis juice, which I’m delighted to say is the vilest concoction I’ve ever had the privilege to imbibe. It’s as sour as a smacked lemon and as bitter as neat quinine. My face freezes in an agonising spasm, and Lord knows how I manage to keep from throwing up. Mr Hoo, the driver, asks if I want any more, and when I shake my spasming head, he grins and downs it in one. I pity Mrs Hoo - she’s going to have a busy night.
We try goat’s penis, chicken feet, bull’s penis tip (that’ll keep you up all night too, the boss warns), terrapin leg and all manner of radishes. I’m offered dog’s penis (“The only one with a bone in it”, and served with a glacé cherry placed pointlessly on the tip), but decline.
All the knobs have intriguing, delicate and bizarre textures, although the flavour is mainly of pork braised in hot stock. My favourite dish of all is undoubtedly bull’s perineum – a delicate piece of flesh, the size of a chicken oyster, which has been poached, then slow-fried.
It’s sweet and crispy, with a deep taste of soy and honey.
Yan Yan, my guide, isn’t too keen on penis, but she’s adventurous in the face of adversity, and tries most things with a curled lip. Just before we go, I ask why the girls get off lightly. Why don’t they serve any female genitalia?
The boss bursts into giggly, embarrassed laughter. “That’s a crazy idea - why would anyone want to do that?”
“Well, because it’s protein and you Chinese are renowned for eating everything.”
“Don’t be insane,” she says. Then she remembers that she’s heard of a dish of donkey vulva, but she’s not sure where. She thinks it’s a disgusting idea.
Extracted from In the Danger Zone by Stefan Gates (BBC Books £15.99). To buy a copy for £14.39, including p&p, call The Sunday Times BooksFirst on 0870 165 8585. The third series of Cooking in the Danger Zone begins on BBC2 at 7pm tonight
泰晤士报:光顾北京的“阳物餐馆”
中国网 china.com.cn 时间: 2008-03-26发表评论>>
英国《泰晤士报》:令我不敢相信自己眼睛的菜肴
(作者 Stefan Gates/编译 王永生)
我在光顾北京的锅里壮餐馆,那里是......
泰晤士报:光顾北京的“阳物餐馆”
北京餐馆里的朝鲜秀色美女
泰晤士报:阳光灿烂畅行无阻 这不是我们料想的北京
泰晤士报 北京将处分态度粗暴警察
赢得顾客的反复光顾
赢得顾客的反复光顾
贼频频光顾 北京古寺佛宝离奇被盗(组图)
泰晤士报 北京奥运上空的乌云
英国《泰晤士报》 恐怖主义的数学题
泰晤士报 一个“洋妞”的自白
英国《泰晤士报》 恐怖主义的数学题
精明的饕餮--北京风味餐馆点评 - 米丽e趣 - 银汉 - 和讯博客
精明的饕餮--北京风味餐馆点评 - 米丽e趣 - 银汉 - 和讯博客
北京最适合朋友聚会经典餐馆大全
餐馆鲜为人知的黑幕
武汉恐怖的餐馆
《五绝·欢迎您的光顾》
宅男宅女经常光顾的地方(转)
外星人最爱光顾的十大国家
外星人最喜欢光顾的十大国家
泰晤士报 北京制止中国公司涌向伦敦上市浪潮
泰晤士报 女人的天下不在中国
泰晤士报 以色列面临“不对称战争”的危险
泰晤士报 谁将是联合国秘书长安南的继任者?