芒果街上的小屋(中英对照,5星级)

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芒果街上的小屋

   


                                                                                                                                           
                                                                                                                                         

第1节:头发

头发


  我们家里每个人的头发都不一样。爸爸的头发像扫把,根根直立往上插。而我,我的头发挺懒惰。它从来不听发夹和发带的话。卡洛斯的头发又直又厚。他不用梳头。蕾妮的头发滑滑的——会从你手里溜走。还有奇奇,他最小,茸茸的头发像毛皮。


  只有妈妈的头发,妈妈的头发,好像一朵朵小小的玫瑰花结[ 玫瑰花结是指玫瑰花状的圆形花饰。


  ],一枚枚小小的糖果圈儿,全都那么拳曲,那么漂亮,因为她成天给它们上发卷。把鼻子伸进去闻一闻吧,当她搂着你时。当她搂着你时,你觉得那么安全,闻到的气味又那么香甜。是那种待烤的面包暖暖的香味,是那种她给你让出一角被窝时,和着体温散发的芬芳。你睡在她身旁,外面下着雨,爸爸打着鼾。哦,鼾声、雨声,还有妈妈那闻起来像面包的头发。


  Hairs


  Everybody in our family has different hair. My Papa's hair is like a broom, all up in the air. And me, my hair is lazy. It never obeys barrettes or bands. Carlos' hair is thick and straight. He doesn't need to comb it. Nenny's hair is slippery--slides out of your hand. And Kiki, who is the youngest, has hair like fur.

But my mother's hair, my mother's hair, like little rosettes, like little candy circles all curly and pretty because she pinned it in pincurls all day, sweet to put your nose into when she is holding you, holding you and you feel safe, is the warm smell of bread before you bake it, is the smell when she makes room for you on her side of the bed still warm with her skin, and you sleep near her, the rain outside falling and Papa snoring. The snoring, the rain, and Mama’s hair that smells like bread.

 

第2节:大流士和云(1)

 

 大流士和云


  你永远不能拥有太多的天空。你可以在天空下睡去,醒来又沉醉。在你忧伤的时候,天空会给你安慰。可是忧伤太多,天空不够。蝴蝶也不够,花儿也不够。大多数美的东西都不够。于是,我们取我们所能取,好好地享用。


  大流士[ 也是古代波斯帝国国王的名字。一代雄主大流士大帝在位期间(前522—前486),对内强化君主专制,对外实行大规模军事扩张,使得波斯帝国进入全盛期。自命不凡的他曾在贝希斯敦的悬崖上刻下铭文:“我,大流士,伟大的王、万邦之王、波斯之王……我是国王。”后世因此尊他为“万王之王”。],不喜欢上学的他,有时很傻,几乎是个笨人,今天却说了一句聪明的话,虽然大多数日子他什么都不说。大流士,喜欢用爆竹,用碰过老鼠的小棍子去追逐女孩,还以为自己很了不起的他,今天却指着天空,因为那里有满天的云朵,像枕头样的云朵。


3节:大流士和云(2)

 

 

  你们都看到那朵云了,那朵胖乎乎的云了?大流士说,看到了?哪里?那朵看起来像爆米花的旁边的那朵。那边那朵。看,那是上帝。大流士说。上帝?有个小点的问道。上帝。他说。简洁地说。

 

 

  Darius

 

 

  the Clouds

 

 

  You can never have too much sky. You can fall asleep and wake up drunk on sky, and sky can keep you safe when you are sad. Here there is too much sadness and not enough sky. Butterflies too are few and so are flowers and most things that are beautiful. Still, we take what we can get and make the best of it.

 

 

  Darius, who doesn't like school, who is sometimes stupid and mostly a fool, said something wise today, though most days he says nothing. Darius, who chases girls with firecrackers or a stick that touched a rat and thinks he's tough, today pointed up because the world was full of clouds, the kind like pillows.

 

 

You all see that cloud, that fat one there? Darius said, See that? Where? That one next to the one that look like popcorn. That one there. See that. That's God, Darius said.God? somebody little asked. God, he said, and made it simple.

 

 

第4节:猫皇后凯茜(1)

 猫皇后凯茜[在刘易斯·卡洛尔的《爱丽丝镜中奇遇记》中,有这样一节:爱丽丝一梦醒来,发现纸牌皇后变成了她的小猫。卡洛尔是对作者影响颇深的作家。此篇或许是个例证。在这里,小姑娘凯茜的绰号,以及她自称和法兰西皇后的亲缘,都暗合了卡洛尔童话中的情节。因此,凯茜、猫和皇后的关联指向一个暗嵌的典故。这既是对自己喜爱的大师的致礼,也延伸了作品的内涵。]

 

 

  她说,我是法兰西皇后的远远远房表亲。她住在楼上,那边,那个“捉小孩的人”乔的隔壁。离他远点,她告诉我说,他很危险。街角那家小店是宾尼和布兰卡的。他们还蛮好,可只是靠在糖果柜台上时才对你好。两个像老鼠一样邋遢的女孩住在街对面。你不会想去认识她们的。埃德娜是你家隔壁房子的主人。她过去有幢大得像鲸鱼的房子,可她弟弟把它卖了。他们的妈妈说,别,别呀,千万别卖。我不会的。可后来她一闭眼,他就卖了它。阿莉西娅自从上了大学就傲气起来了。她过去挺喜欢我,可现在不了。

 

 

猫皇后凯茜养了好多好多好多猫。猫宝宝、大个猫、瘦猫、病猫。睡姿像个面包圈的猫。爬到冰箱顶上的猫。在餐桌上散步的猫。她的房子就像个猫天堂。

 

 

第5节:猫皇后凯茜(2)

 

 

  你想要个朋友。她说,好的,我会做你的朋友,可只能做到下星期二,那时我们就得搬走了,不得不搬了。然后,她似乎忘了我才搬进来,说,这个社区的人越来越杂了。

 

 

  凯茜的父亲有一天会要飞到法国去,找到远方的、她父亲那边的远远远房表亲,去继承家宅。我是怎么知道这些的呢?是她告诉我的。同时,他们要从芒果街向北面搬迁,离开这里一点路,在每次像我们这样的人家不断搬进来的时候。[ 要明白这段话,须了解上世纪六十年代的社会背景:在芝加哥,因为文化、经济和种族等方面的差异,相对贫困的拉丁裔移民大量涌入某个社区,原来居住在这里的白人就会选择搬迁,到以白人为主的社区里去。 ]

 

 

  Cathy Queen of Cats

 

 

  She says, I am the great great grand cousin of the queen of France. She lives upstairs, over there, next door to Joe the baby-grabber. Keep away from him, she says. He is full of danger. Benny and Blanca own the corner store. They're okay except don't lean on the candy counter. Two girls raggedy as rats live across the street. You don't want to know them. Edna is the lady who owns the building next to you. She used to own a building big as a whale, but her brother sold it. Their mother said no, no, don't ever sell it. I won't. And then she closed her eyes and he sold it. Alicia is stuck-up ever since she went to college. She used to like me but now she doesn't.

 

 

 

  Cathy who is queen of cats has cats and cats and cats. Baby cats, big cats, skinny cats, sick cats. Cats asleep like little donuts. Cats on top of the refrigerator. Cats taking a walk on the dinner table. Her house is like cat heaven.

 

 

  You want a friend, she says. Okay, I'll be your friend. But only till next Tuesday. That's when we move away. Got to. Then as if she forgot I just moved in, she says the neighborhood is getting bad.

 

 

Cathy's father will have to fly to France one day and find her great great distant grand cousin on her father's side and inherit the family house. How do I know this is so? She told me so. In the meantime they'll just have to move a little farther north from Mango Street, a little farther away every time people like us keep moving in.

 

第6节:四棵细瘦的树(1)

 

四棵细瘦的树

 

他们是唯一懂得我的。我是唯一懂得它们的。四棵细瘦的树儿长着细细的脖颈和尖尖的肘骨,像我的一样。不属于这里但到了这里的四个。市政栽下充数的四棵残次品。从我的房间里我们可以听到它们的声音,可蕾妮只是睡觉,不能领略这些。

 

第7节:四棵细瘦的树(2)

 

 

  他们的力量是个秘密。他们在地下展开凶猛的根系。他们向上生长也向下生长,用它们须发样的脚趾攥紧泥土,用它们猛烈的牙齿噬咬天空,怒气从不懈怠。这就是它们坚持的方式。

 

 

  假如有一棵忘记了他存在的理由,他们就全都会像玻璃瓶里的郁金香一样耷拉下来,手挽着手。坚持,坚持,坚持。树儿在我睡着的时候说。他们教会人。

 

 

  当我太悲伤太瘦弱无法坚持再坚持的时候,当我如此渺小却要对抗这么多砖块的时候,我就会看着树儿。当街上没有别的东西可看的时候。不畏水泥仍在生长的四棵。伸展伸展从不忘记伸展的四棵。唯一的理由是存在存在的四棵。

 

 

  Four Skinny Trees

 

 

  They are the only ones who understand me. I am the only one who understands them. Four skinny trees with skinny necks and pointy elbows like mine. Four who do not belong here but are here. Four raggedy excuses planted by the city. From our room we can hear them, but Nenny just sleeps and doesn't appreciate these things.

 

 

  Their strength is secret. They send ferocious roots beneath the ground. They grow up and they grow down and grab the earth between their hairy toes and bite the sky with violent teeth and never quit their anger. This is how they keep. Let one forget his reason for being, they'd all droop like tulips in a glass, each with their arms around the other. Keep, keep, keep, trees say when I sleep. They teach.

 

  When I am too sad and too skinny to keep keeping, when I am a tiny thing against so many bricks, then it is I look at trees. When there is nothing left to look at on this street. Four who grew despite concrete. Four who reach and do not forget to reach. Four whose only reason is to be and be.

 

 

第8节:生辰不吉(1)

 

  生辰不吉

 

 

  很可能我会去地狱,很可能我该去那里。妈妈说我出生的日子不吉利,并为我祈祷。露西和拉切尔也祈祷。为我们自己也为相互之间……为我们对卢佩婶婶做的事情。

 

 

  她的全名叫古尔妲卢佩[ Guadalupe,也是墨西哥圣母的名字。每年12月12日的古尔妲卢佩圣母节(Guadalupe Day)是墨西哥最重要的宗教节日。]。她像我妈妈一样漂亮。暗色皮肤。十分耐看。穿着琼·克劳馥式的裙子,长着游泳者的腿。那是照片上的卢佩婶婶。

 

 

  可我知道她生病了,疾病缠绵不去。她的腿绑束在黄色的床单下面,骨头变得和蠕虫一样软弱。黄色的枕头,黄色的气味,瓶子勺子。她像一个口渴的女人一样向后仰着头。我的婶婶,那个游泳者。

 

 

  很难想象她的腿曾经强健。坚韧的骨,劈波分浪,动作干净爽利,没有像婴儿的腿那样蜷曲皱缩,也没有淹滞在黏浊的黄光灯下。二层楼背面的公寓。光秃的电灯泡。高高的天花板,灯泡一直在燃烧。

 

 

第9节:生辰不吉(2)

 

 

  我不知道是谁来决定谁该遭受厄运。她出生的日子没有不吉利。没有邪恶的诅咒。头一天我想她还在游泳,第二天她就病了。可能是拍下那张灰色照片的那天。也可能是她抱着表弟托奇和宝宝弗兰克的那天。也可能是她指着照相机让小孩们看可他们不看的那一刻。

 

 

  也许天空在她摔倒的那天没有看向人间。也许上帝很忙。也许那天她入水没入好伤了脊椎是真的,也许托奇说的是真的,她从高高的梯凳上重重地摔了下来。

 

 

  我想疾病没有眼睛。它们昏乱的指头会挑到任何人,任何人。比如我的婶婶,那天正好走在街上的婶婶,穿着琼·克劳馥式裙子,戴着缀有黑羽毛的、滑稽的毡帽,一只手里是表弟托奇,一只手里是宝宝弗兰克。

 

 

  有时你会习惯病人,有时你会习惯疾病,如果病得太久,也就习以为常了。她的情况就是这样。或者这就是我们选择她的原因。

 

 

  那是一个游戏。仅此而已。我们每天下午都玩的游戏,自从某天我们中的一个发明了它。我不记得是谁,我想那是我。

 

 

  你得挑选一个人。你得想出大家都知道的一个人,一个你可以模仿,而别人都能猜出来的人。先是那些名人:神奇女侠[ 上世纪七十年代非常流行的一部由漫画改编的电影《神奇女侠》中的主人公,是美国漫画史上第一位漫画女主角。]、披头士、玛丽莲·梦露……后来有人认为我们稍稍改变一下,如果我们假装自己是宾尼先生、或者他的妻子布兰卡,或者鹭鸶儿,或者别的我们认识的人,游戏会好玩点。

 

 

第10节:生辰不吉(3)

 

 

  我不知道我们为什么挑选了她。也许那天我们很无聊。也许我们累了。我们喜欢我们的婶婶。她会听我们讲故事。她经常求我们再来。露西、我和拉切尔。我讨厌一个人去那里。走六个街区才到那昏暗的公寓,阳光从不会照射到的二层楼背面的房子,可那有什么关系?我婶婶那时已经瞎了。她从来看不见水池里的脏碗碟。她看不到落满灰尘和苍蝇的天花板。难看的酱色墙壁,瓶瓶罐罐和黏腻的茶勺。我无法忘记那里的气味。就像黏黏的胶囊注满了冻糊糊。我婶婶,一瓣小牡蛎,一团小肉,躺在打开的壳上,供我们观看。喂,喂。她好像掉在一口深井里。

 

 

  我把图书馆借的书带到她家里。我给她读故事。我喜欢《水孩子》[ 《水孩子》(The Water Babies),查理·金斯莱(1819~1875)的一部童话经典,讲述小烟囱工汤姆在仙女的帮助下,逃离危险的苦役,去到一处安宁清洁的水下世界,做了个水孩子。后来,经过一连串的奇遇,他习得了各种美德,完成了自己的成长之路,回到陆地,成为一个仁爱正直的人。国内早有周煦良的译本。作者金斯莱是牛津、剑桥的历史学教授,还曾做过维多利亚女王的牧师。学识渊博的他,写出的童话却清新优美,寄寓着对所有稚嫩心灵的爱惜与期望。]这本书。她也喜欢。我从来不知道她病得有多重,直到那天我想要指给她看书里的一幅画,美丽的画,水孩子在大海中游泳。我把书举到她眼前。我看不到。她说。我瞎了。我心里便很愧疚。

 

第11节:生辰不吉(4)

 

 

  她会听我念给她听的每一本书,每一首诗。一天我读了一首自己写的给她听。我凑得很近。我对着枕头轻轻耳语:

 

 

  我想成为

 

 

  海里的浪,风中的云,

 

 

  但我还只是小小的我。

 

 

  有一天我要

 

 

  跳出自己的身躯

 

 

  我要摇晃天空

 

 

  像一百把小提琴。

 

 

  很好。非常好。她用有气无力的声音说。记住你要写下去,埃斯佩朗莎。你一定要写下去。那会让你自由,我说好的,只是那时我还不懂她的意思。

 

 

  那天我们玩了同样的游戏。我们不知道她要死了。我们装作头往后仰,四肢软弱无力,像死人的一样垂挂着。我们学她的样子笑。学她的样子说话,那种盲人说话的时候不转动头部的样子。我们模仿她必须被人托起头颈才能喝水的样子。她从一个绿色的锡杯里把水慢慢地吮出来喝掉。水是热的,味道像金属。露西笑起来,拉切尔也笑了。我们轮流扮演她。我们像鹦鹉学舌一样,用微弱的声音呼喊托奇过来洗碗。那很容易做到。

 

 

可我们不懂。她等待死亡很长时间了。我们忘了。也许她很愧疚。也许她很窘迫:死亡花了这么多年时间。孩子们想要做成孩子,而不是在那里洗碗涮碟,给爸爸熨衬衫。丈夫也想再要一个妻子。

 

第12节:生辰不吉(5)

 

 

  于是她死了。听我念诗的婶婶。

 

 

  于是我们开始做起了那些梦。

 

 

  Born Bad

 

 

  Most likely I will go to hell and most likely I deserve to be there. My mother says I was born on an evil day and prays for me. Lucy and Rachel pray too. For ourselves and for each other... because of what we did to Aunt Lupe.

 

 

  Her name was Guadalupe and she was pretty like my mother. Dark. Good to look at. In her Joan Crawford dress and swimmer's legs. Aunt Lupe of the photographs.

 

 

  But I knew her sick from the disease that would not go, her legs bunched under the yellow sheets, the bones gone Limp as worms. The yellow pillow, the yellow smell, the bottles and spoons. Her head thrown back like a thirsty lady. My aunt, the swimmer.

 

 

  Hard to imagine her legs once strong, the bones hard and parting water, clean sharp strokes, not bent and wrinkled like a baby, not drowning under the sticky yellow light. Second-floor rear apartment. The naked light bulb. The high ceilings. The light bulb always burning.

 

 

第13节:生辰不吉(6)

 

 

  I don't know who decides who deserves to go bad. There was no evil in her birth. No wicked curse. One day I believe she was swimming, and the next day she was sick. It might have been the day that gray photograph was taken. It might have been the day she was holding cousin Totchy and baby Frank. It might have been the moment she pointed to the camera for the kids to look and they

 

 

  wouldn't.

 

 

  Maybe the sky didn't look the day she fell down. Maybe God was busy. It could be true she didn't dive right one day and hurt her spine. Or maybe the story that she fell very hard from a high step stool, like Totchy said, is true.

 

 

  But I think diseases have no eyes. They pick with a dizzy finger anyone, just anyone. Like my aunt who happened to be walking down the street one day in her Joan Crawford dress, in her funny felt hat with the black feather, cousin Totchy in one hand, baby Frank in the other.

 

 

第14节:生辰不吉(7)

 

 

  Sometimes you get used to the sick and sometimes the sickness, if it is there too long, gets to seem normal. This is how it was with her, and maybe this is why we chose her.

 

 

  It was a game, that's all. It was the game we played every afternoon ever since that day one of us invented it. I can't remember who. I think it was me. You had to pick somebody.

 

 

  You had to think of someone everybody knew. Someone you could imitate and everyone else would have to guess who it was. It started out with famous people: Wonder Woman, the Beatles, Marilyn Monroe... But then somebody thought it'd be better if we changed the game a little, if we pretended we were Mr. Benny, or his wife Blanca, or Ruthie, or anybody we knew.

 

 

  I don't know why we picked her. Maybe we were bored that day. Maybe we got tired. We liked my aunt. She listened to our stories. She always asked us to come back. Lucy, me, Rachel. I hated to go there alone. The six blocks to the dark apartment, second-floor rear building where sunlight never came, and what did it matter? My aunt was blind by then. She never saw the dirty dishes in the sink. She couldn't see the ceilings dusty with flies, the ugly maroon walls, the bottles and sticky spoons. I can't forget the smell. Like sticky capsules filled with jelly. My aunt, a little oyster, a little piece of meat on an open shell for us to look at. Hello, hello. As if she had fallen into a well.

 

第15节:生辰不吉(8)

 

 

  I took my library books to her house. I read her stories. I liked the book The Water Babies. She liked it too. I never knew how sick she was until that day I tried to show her one of the pictures in the book, a beautiful color picture of the water babies swimming in the sea. I held the book up to her face. I can't see it, she said, I'm blind. And then I was ashamed.

 

 

  She listened to every book, every poem I read her. one day I read her one of my own. I came very close. I whispered it into the pillow:

 

 

  I want to be

 

 

  like the waves on the sea,

 

 

  like the clouds in the wind,

 

 

  but I'm me.

 

 

  One day I'll jump

 

 

  out of my skin.

 

 

  I'll shake the sky

 

 

  like a hundred violins.

 

 

  That's nice. That's very good, she said in her tired voice. You just remember to keep writing, Esperanza. You must keep writing. It will keep you free, and I said yes, but at that time I didn't know what she meant.

 

 

第16节:生辰不吉(9)

 

 

  The day we played the game, we didn't know she was going to die. We pretended with our heads thrown back, our arms limp and useless, dangling like the dead. We laughed the way she did. We talked the way she talked, the way blind people talk without moving their head. We imitated the way you had to lift her head a little so she could drink water, she sucked it up slow out of a green tin cup. The water was warm and tasted like metal. Lucy laughed. Rachel too. We took turns being her. We screamed in the weak voice of a parrot for Totchy to come and wash those dishes. It was easy.

 

 

  We didn't know. She had been dying such a long time, we forgot. Maybe she was ashamed. Maybe she was embarrassed it took so many years. The kids who wanted to be kids instead of washing dishes and ironing their papa's shirts, and the husband who wanted a wife again.

 

 

  And then she died, my aunt who listened to my poems.

 

 

And then we began to dream the dreams.

 

第17节:阁楼上的流浪者(1)

 

 

  阁楼上的流浪者

 

  我想要一所山上的房子,像爸爸工作的地方那样的花园房。星期日,爸爸的休息日,我们会去那里。我过去常去。现在不去了。你长大了,就不喜欢和我们一起出去吗?爸爸说。你傲起来了。蕾妮说。我没告诉他们我很羞愧——我们一帮人全都盯着那里的窗户,像饥饿的人。我厌倦了盯着我不能拥有的东西。如果我们赢了彩票……妈妈才开口,我就不要听了。

 

 

  那些住在山上、睡得靠星星如此近的人,他们忘记了我们这些住在地面上的人。他们根本不朝下看,除非为了体会住在山上的心满意足。上星期的垃圾,对老鼠的恐惧,这些与他们无关。夜晚来临,没什么惊扰他们的梦,除了风。

 

 

  有一天我要拥有自己的房子,可我不会忘记我是谁我从哪里来。路过的流浪者会问,我可以进来吗?我会把他们领上阁楼,请他们住下来,因为我知道没有房子的滋味。

 

 

  有些日子里,晚饭后,我和朋友们坐在火旁。楼上的地板吱呀吱呀响。阁楼上有咕咕哝哝的声音。

 

 

  是老鼠吗?他们会问。

 

 

  是流浪者。我会回答说。我很开心。

 

第18节:阁楼上的流浪者(2)

 

 

  Bums in the Attic

 

 

  I want a house on a hill like the ones with the gardens where Papa works. We go on Sundays, Papa's day off. I used to go. I don't anymore. You don't like to go out with us, Papa says. Getting too old? Getting too stuck-up, says Nenny. I don't tell them I am ashamed--all of us staring out the window like the hungry. I am tired of looking at what we can't have. When we win the lottery...Mama begins, and then I stop listening.

 

 

  People who live on hills sleep so close to the stars they forget those of us who live too much on earth. They don't look down at all except to be content to live on hills. They have nothing to do with last week's garbage or fear of rats. Night comes. Nothing wakes them but the wind.

 

 

  One day I'll own my own house, but I won't forget who I am or where I came from. Passing bums will ask, Can I come in? I'll offer them the attic, ask them to stay, because I know how it is to be without a house.

 

 

 

  Some days after dinner, guests and I will sit in front of a fire. Floorboards will squeak upstairs. The attic grumble.

 

 

  Rats? they'll ask.

 

 

Bums, I'll say, and I'll be happy.

 

第19节:芒果有时说再见(1)

 

 

  芒果有时说再见

  我喜欢讲故事。我在心里讲述。在邮递员说过这是你的邮件之后。这是你的邮件。他说。然后我开始讲述。

 

 

  我编了一个故事,为我的生活,为我棕色鞋子走过的每一步。我说,“她步履沉重地登上木楼梯,她悲哀的棕色鞋子带着她走进了她从来不喜欢的房子。”

 

 

  我喜欢讲故事。我将向你们讲述一个不想归属的女孩的故事。

 

 

  我们先前不住芒果街。先前我们住鲁米斯的三楼,再先前我们住吉勒。吉勒前面是波琳娜。可我记得最清楚的是芒果街,悲哀的红色小屋。我住在那里却不属于那里的房子。

 

 

  我把它写在纸上,然后心里的幽灵就不那么疼了。我把它写下来,芒果有时说再见。她不再用双臂抱住我。她放开了我。

 

 

  有一天我会把一袋袋的书和纸打进包里。有一天我会对芒果说再见。我强大得她没法永远留住我。有一天我会离开。

 

 

第20节:芒果有时说再见(2)

 

 

  朋友和邻居们会说,埃斯佩朗莎怎么了?她带着这么多书和纸去哪里?为什么她要走得那么远?

 

 

  他们不会知道,我离开是为了回来。为了那些我留在身后的人。为了那些无法出去的人。

 

 

  Mango Says Goodbye Sometimes

 

 

  I like to tell stories. I tell them inside my head. I tell them after the mailman says, Here's your mail. Here's your mail he said.

 

 

  I make a story for my life, for each step my brown shoe takes. I say, "And so she trudged up the wooden stairs, her sad brown shoes taking her to the house she never

 

 

  liked."

 

 

  I like to tell stories. I am going to tell you a story about a girl who didn't want to belong.

 

 

  We didn't always live on Mango Street. Before that we lived on Loomis on the third floor, and before that we lived on Keeler. Before Keeler it was Paulina, but what I remember most is Mango Street, sad red house, the house I belong but do not belong to.

 

 

  I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much. I write it down and Mango says goodbye sometimes. She does not hold me with both arms. She sets me free.

 

 

  One day I will pack my bags of books and paper. One day I will say goodbye to Mango. I am too strong for her to keep me here forever. One day I will go away.

 

 

  Friends and neighbors will say, What happened to that Esperanza? Where did she go with all those books and paper? Why did she march so far away?

 

 

  They will not know I have gone away to come back. For the ones I left behind. For the ones who cannot out.