墨菲法则

“墨菲法则”、“派金森定理”和“彼德原理”并称为二十世纪西方文化中最杰出的三大发现。它源于1949年，一名叫墨菲的美国空军上尉工程师，发现：假定你把一片干面包掉在地毯上，这片面包的两面均可能着地。但假定你把一片一面涂有一层果酱的面包掉在地毯上，常常是带有果酱的一面落在地毯上（麻烦）。换一种说法：如果某件事有可能变坏的话，这种可能就会成为现实。这就是墨菲法则。它的适用范围非常广泛，它揭示的了一种独特的社会及自然现象。它的极端表述是：如果坏事有可能发生，不管这种可能性有多小，它总会发生，并造成最大可能的破坏。
-- 墨菲法则摘录
If anything can go wrong, it will。
如果事情还能更糟的话，它会的。
In nature, nothing is ever right. Therefore, if everything is going right ... something is wrong。
在现实生活中，没有什么事情是永远正确的。所以，如果每件事都在朝好的方向发展……一定出问题了。
It is impossible to make anything foolproof because fools are so ingenious。
愚蠢是不可避免的，因为愚蠢太富有创造力了。
Nothing is as easy as it looks
没什么事情像看上去一样简单。
Everything takes longer than you think
每件事总比你估计的要多花点时间
Whenever you set out to do something, something else must be done first
每当你准备做什么的时候，总有些别的事你得先做了。
Every solution breeds new problems
每个解决办法都会衍生出新的问题。
The legibility of a copy is inversely proportional to its importance
文件的可读性和它的重要性是成反比的。
The chance of the buttered side of the bread falling face down is directly proportional to the cost of the carpet
面包往下掉的时候，抹了白脱一面冲下的概率和地毯的价值成正比。
You will always find something in the last place you look
东西总是在你最后去找的地方被发现。
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墨菲法则
二
Left to themselves, things tend to go from bad to worse
听之任之的话，事情一般不会向好的方向发展。
After you bought a replacement for something you\'ve lost and searched for everywhere, you\'ll find the original
在你丢了东西到处找不到并买了新的后，你就会找回原来丢了的那样。
The other line always moves faster
你旁边的车道总是比你这条走得快些。
When a broken appliance is demonstrated for the repairman, it will work perfectly
每次演示给修理工看电器如何不正常运作时，它都干得挺好。
Build a system that even a fool can use, and only a fool will use it
建立一个连傻瓜都会用的系统的话，一般只有傻瓜才会去用。
Everyone has a scheme for getting rich that will not work
每个人都有套没法运作的致富计划。
In any hierarchy, each individual rises to his own level of incompetence, and then remains there
在任何等级制度中，每个独立个体都会迁升到力所不能及的职务，然后就呆在那儿了。
The better you know the amount of ill luck that will strike you,
the worse you know when this will happen
你越清楚厄运的危害，你越不知道它什么时候降临。
Your best golf shots always occur when playing alone
你最好的分数一定是你一个人玩的时候得到的。
He who angers you controls you, there-fore you have no control over your anger
都是那些让你愤怒的人控制你，所以你没法控制你的愤怒。
No matter how hard you try, you cannot push a string
不管你怎么努力，你不能推一根绳子。
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墨菲法则
三
Murphy\'s Law Current Revision
Any thing that can go wrong, HAS Already Gone Wrong!
You just haven\'t been notified
墨菲法则现代版：
如果事情还能更糟的话，它已经有那么糟了，只是你没发觉罢了。
all good things come to those who wait...
but , don\'t wait too long or they will pass you by...
like 2 ships that pass in the night...
never again to return that same exact site
好事情总是为等待它们的人来临，但是，不要等太久，它们会擦肩而过，就像两艘夜航的船，再也回不到本可以相逢的那个刹那。
No degree of acceptance can ever change the facts
没有任何限度的接受可以改变现实。
Beauty is only skin deep, fashion even shallower
如果美貌是肤浅的话，时髦连汗毛都没沾上。
A person without values or standards can never be a hypocrite
一个没有价值观和做人标准的人是不可能成为伪君子的。
Don\'t let go of something until you have a hold of something else
不管是西瓜还是芝麻，没捡到前别把手里的扔了。
It takes forever to learn the rules and once you\'ve learned them they change again
规则不容易掌握，一旦掌握了，规则又变了。
The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds,
the pessimist fears this is true
乐观主义者声称相比前生和来世，我们生活的世界是最好的，悲观主义者就怕这是真的。
You will find an easy way to do it, after you\'ve finished doing it
你总能找出一个更便捷的方法，在你已经做完这件事以后。
The wind will always blow opposite to your hairdo
风永远不顺着你的发型吹。
Window polishing: It\'s always on the other side
擦窗法则：不干净的老是在另一面。
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墨菲法则
四
Anyone who isn\'t paranoid simply isn\'t paying attention
没有得妄想症的人普遍注意力不集中。
Whenever you cut your finger nails, you find a need for them an hour later
每次剪了指甲后没多久，就有用得着它们的地方。
Nothing is impossible for the man who doesn\'t have to do it himself
对一个不需要自己来做的人来说，没有什么是不可能的。
Probabilities serve only and exclusively to determine the degree of improbability of the catastrophes that actually take place
概率，也只有概率，是用来解释为什么不大可能发生的灾难发生了。
Two wrongs don\'t make a right. It usually takes three or four
错错不会得对。一般要错上个三四次才行。
If the truth is in you* **vor no one will believe you
如果真相对你有利，没人会信你。
The difference between Stupidity and Genius is that Genius has its limits
天才和愚蠢的区别是天才有它的局限性。
Those who don\'t take decisions never make mistakes
不做决定的人是不会犯错的。
Murphy\'s Metalaw
Knowing Murphy\'s Law will never help
墨菲星际法则：知道墨菲法则不会带来任何帮助。
Everything that could possibly go wrong for anyone else always seems to happen to you
那些谁碰上都倒霉的事儿老是在你身上应验。
The person ahead of you in the queue, will have the most complex transaction possible
排在你前面的人总是有最复杂的手续要办。
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墨菲爱情法则
一
A good women/men are like parking spots, all the good ones are taken
一个好女人或者好男人就像泊车位一样，好的都给占了。
Brains x Beauty x Availability = Constant. This constant is always zero
智慧和相貌以及可行性的乘积是个常量，而这个常量总是为零。
Money can\'t buy love, but it sure gets you a great bargaining position
钱不能买到爱情，但毫无疑问它的份量可以影响杠杆的平衡。
*** takes up the least amount of time and causes the most amount of trouble
性爱只需要最短的时间就能带来最多的麻烦。
No matter how many times you\'ve had it, if it\'s offered take it, because it\'ll never be quite the same again
不管你曾经拥有了多少次，如果还有的话，接受吧，因为每次都是不同的。
If it seems too good to be true, it probably is
如果令你难以置信的话，你最好还是别信。
When a man\'s wife learns to understand him, she usually stops listening to him
当一个男人的妻子学会去理解她丈夫的时候，她一般不再听他怎么说了。
The qualities that most attract a woman to a man are usually the same ones she can\'t stand years later
某个男人最吸引某个女人的品质也就是多年后那个女人所不能容忍的。
*** is hereditary. If your parents never had it, chances are you won\'t either
性爱是遗传的。如果你父母从来没有过，那你也不会有的。
It was not the apple on the tree but the pair on the ground that caused the trouble in the garden
在花园里造成麻烦的不是树上的苹果，而是那双在地上的脚。
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墨菲爱情法则
二
Before you find your handsome prince, you\'ve got to kiss a lot of frogs
在发现你的英俊王子之前，你已经吻过了无数只青蛙。
There may be some things better than ***, and some things worse than ***. But there is nothing exactly like it
有些东西可能比性爱好，有些东西可能比性爱差，但没有一样东西是像性爱那样的。
If the effort that went in research on the female bosom had gone into our space program, we would now be running hot-dog stands on the moon
如果把用在研究女人胸部的精力放在航天计划上的话，我们或许已经在月球上练摊儿了。
Love is a matter of chemistry, *** is a matter of physics
爱是化学反应，性是物理反应。
It is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all
爱过了，失去了，好过爱也没爱过。
A woman never forgets the men she could have had; a man, the women he couldn\'t
女人永远不会忘了那个她曾经可以拥有的男人；男人永远不会忘了那个他没可能拥有的女人。
It is better to be looked over than overlooked
匆匆一瞥好过目中无人。
Don\'t do it if you can\'t keep it up
不能继续下去的话，最好还是别做。
Love is the delusion that one woman differs from another
爱，是一种错觉，让你认为某个女人不同于另一个。
If you\'re heart is broken, sweep up the pieces.
There will always be someone who will want to put it back together
如果你的心碎了，把碎片收拾起来。这世上总会有人想要把它补好。