神马文学网English wherever, whenever…21世纪在线
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English wherever, whenever
作者：21ST 时间：2008-08-20 来源：21世纪英文报第767期
Cracking CET
在本期四六级考试专栏中，全国四六级考委会的夏国佐教授对读者题为“The digitalage”的作文进行了讲评和改写。这是2007年12月份的六级作文试题。按照六级作文评分标准，作文部分满分15分，这篇文章得11分。如果你希望自己的文章得到夏教授的点评，请按下面要求写出一篇短文，发到elt@21stcentury.com.cn。
Directions: For this part, you are allowed 30 minutes to write a shortessay entitled The Digital Age. You should write at least 150 wordsfollowing the outline given below.
1.如今数字化产品得到越来越广泛的使用，例如……
2.数字化产品的使用对人们工作、学习和生活产生的影响
读者原文
The digital age
Nowadays, the use of digital products has been widely spread.Computers, MP3 players, digital cameras, etc have become a crucial partof our daily life. Whatever we are occupied, things could hardly bedone without them.
Digital products are in connection with everybody in contemporarytimes. As far as one’s work is concerned, computers serve to makeeverything done more efficiently and conveniently. He or she will neverbe buried in piles of papers to search for data; just click the mouse,and information around the world will come into sight on the screen infew seconds. Besides, digital products like MP3 or MP4 players arenecessities for us students, who are enabled to listen to Englishregardless of places and time with the help of the products. Moreover,with digital products, life becomes more interesting and colorful. Forinstance, in terms of amusement, due to digital cameras and the like,photographs can be taken or deleted at will without we worrying aboutthe cost of films.
In summary, digital products have made a great influence on our work,study and life, which means we now live in a digital age. With thedevelopment of technology and society, the degree of digitalizationwill surely become increasingly higher and better for human being.
修改后的文章
The digital age
Nowadays, the use of digital products is widespread. Computers, MP3players and digital cameras have become a crucial part of our dailylife. Whatever we are engaged in, we could hardly do anything withoutthem.
Digital products play an important role in everybody’s life in thecontemporary world. They bring us great convenience. For example,computers help raise our work efficiency. We don’t have to buryourselves in piles of paper in order to search for data. Just click themouse, and the information we need will pop up on the computer screenin a few seconds.
As for us students, digital products like MP3 or MP4 players havebecome necessities. With these gadgets, we are able to listen toEnglish whenever and wherever we want. Moreover, with digital products,life becomes more interesting and colorful. For instance, with digitalcameras and the like, we can take photographs or delete them at willwithout worrying about the cost of film.
To sum up, digital products have made a great impact on our work, studyand life, which means we now live in a digital age. With thedevelopment of technology and society, the degree of digitalizationwill surely increase, thus bettering living conditions for us humanbeings.
夏老师的点评
这篇作文写得还是比较好的，思想内容充实，语言表达亦比较丰富，且基本正确。不足的是，还是有一些语法错误和中国式的表达。其原因还是对某些英语词汇和短语的确切含义没有搞清，所以一用起来就走样了。另外，这篇文章中，被动语态用得太多，影响文章的流畅和连贯性。下面是几点具体的修改建议：
1. 第一段第三句“Whatever we are occupied, things could hardly be done withoutthem”应改为“Whatever we are engaged in, we could hardly do anythingwithout them”。前半句“Whatever we are occupied”有语病， “be occupied”后面不可直接接名词，应该有介词“in”或“with”, 改成“Whatever we are occupiedin/with”才行。后半句语法没有问题，但改成主动式更顺一些。应该指出的是，本文作者爱用被动语态，其实，在英语写作中，最好不要用被动语态。
2. 第二段第一句“Digital products are in connection with everybody incontemporary times”建议改为“Digital products play an important role ineverybody’s life in the contemporaryworld”。作者想的是中文的“有关系”在这里实际是指每个人都用得着，所以不能用“in connection with”(有联系)来表达。
3. 第二段第二句中的“computers serve to make everything done more efficientlyand conveniently” 建议改为“computers help raise our work efficiency”。
4. 第二段第三句“He or she will never be buried in piles of papers to searchfor data; just click the mouse, and information around the world willcome into sight on the screen in few seconds”。建议改为“We don’t have tobury ourselves in piles of paper in order to search for data. Justclick the mouse, and the information we need will pop up on thecomputer screen in a few seconds”。 注意“in few seconds”是不对的，一定要用“in a fewseconds”。
5. 第二段第四句中的“who are enabled to listen to English regardless of placesand time with the help of the products”建议改为“With these gadgets, we areable to listen to English whenever and wherever we want”。本句中“regardlessof places and time”用得不合适。作者的实际意思是“想在哪儿(什么时间)听，就在哪儿(什么时间)听”。 “regardlessof”的意思是“不受……影响(without being affected by)”，例如：
The law requires equal treatment regardless of race, religion or sex.
6. 第二段第六句中的“due to digital cameras and the like, photographs can betaken or deleted at will without we worrying about the cost offilms”。应改为“with digital cameras we can take photographs or delete themat will without worrying about the cost of film”。原句中的“without weworrying”是错误的，应改为“without us/ourworrying”。可是原句是被动语态，接上去也很别扭，改成主动语态就顺得多了。
7. 第三段第一句中的“made a great influence on our work”应改为“made a great impacton our work” 或“exerted a great influence on ourwork”。这里主要是词语的习惯搭配的问题。英美人不讲“make an influence on”。
作者：21ST 时间：2008-08-20 来源：21世纪英文报第767期
Cracking CET
在本期四六级考试专栏中，全国四六级考委会的夏国佐教授对读者题为“The digitalage”的作文进行了讲评和改写。这是2007年12月份的六级作文试题。按照六级作文评分标准，作文部分满分15分，这篇文章得11分。如果你希望自己的文章得到夏教授的点评，请按下面要求写出一篇短文，发到elt@21stcentury.com.cn。
Directions: For this part, you are allowed 30 minutes to write a shortessay entitled The Digital Age. You should write at least 150 wordsfollowing the outline given below.
1.如今数字化产品得到越来越广泛的使用，例如……
2.数字化产品的使用对人们工作、学习和生活产生的影响
读者原文
The digital age
Nowadays, the use of digital products has been widely spread.Computers, MP3 players, digital cameras, etc have become a crucial partof our daily life. Whatever we are occupied, things could hardly bedone without them.
Digital products are in connection with everybody in contemporarytimes. As far as one’s work is concerned, computers serve to makeeverything done more efficiently and conveniently. He or she will neverbe buried in piles of papers to search for data; just click the mouse,and information around the world will come into sight on the screen infew seconds. Besides, digital products like MP3 or MP4 players arenecessities for us students, who are enabled to listen to Englishregardless of places and time with the help of the products. Moreover,with digital products, life becomes more interesting and colorful. Forinstance, in terms of amusement, due to digital cameras and the like,photographs can be taken or deleted at will without we worrying aboutthe cost of films.
In summary, digital products have made a great influence on our work,study and life, which means we now live in a digital age. With thedevelopment of technology and society, the degree of digitalizationwill surely become increasingly higher and better for human being.
修改后的文章
The digital age
Nowadays, the use of digital products is widespread. Computers, MP3players and digital cameras have become a crucial part of our dailylife. Whatever we are engaged in, we could hardly do anything withoutthem.
Digital products play an important role in everybody’s life in thecontemporary world. They bring us great convenience. For example,computers help raise our work efficiency. We don’t have to buryourselves in piles of paper in order to search for data. Just click themouse, and the information we need will pop up on the computer screenin a few seconds.
As for us students, digital products like MP3 or MP4 players havebecome necessities. With these gadgets, we are able to listen toEnglish whenever and wherever we want. Moreover, with digital products,life becomes more interesting and colorful. For instance, with digitalcameras and the like, we can take photographs or delete them at willwithout worrying about the cost of film.
To sum up, digital products have made a great impact on our work, studyand life, which means we now live in a digital age. With thedevelopment of technology and society, the degree of digitalizationwill surely increase, thus bettering living conditions for us humanbeings.
夏老师的点评
这篇作文写得还是比较好的，思想内容充实，语言表达亦比较丰富，且基本正确。不足的是，还是有一些语法错误和中国式的表达。其原因还是对某些英语词汇和短语的确切含义没有搞清，所以一用起来就走样了。另外，这篇文章中，被动语态用得太多，影响文章的流畅和连贯性。下面是几点具体的修改建议：
1. 第一段第三句“Whatever we are occupied, things could hardly be done withoutthem”应改为“Whatever we are engaged in, we could hardly do anythingwithout them”。前半句“Whatever we are occupied”有语病， “be occupied”后面不可直接接名词，应该有介词“in”或“with”, 改成“Whatever we are occupiedin/with”才行。后半句语法没有问题，但改成主动式更顺一些。应该指出的是，本文作者爱用被动语态，其实，在英语写作中，最好不要用被动语态。
2. 第二段第一句“Digital products are in connection with everybody incontemporary times”建议改为“Digital products play an important role ineverybody’s life in the contemporaryworld”。作者想的是中文的“有关系”在这里实际是指每个人都用得着，所以不能用“in connection with”(有联系)来表达。
3. 第二段第二句中的“computers serve to make everything done more efficientlyand conveniently” 建议改为“computers help raise our work efficiency”。
4. 第二段第三句“He or she will never be buried in piles of papers to searchfor data; just click the mouse, and information around the world willcome into sight on the screen in few seconds”。建议改为“We don’t have tobury ourselves in piles of paper in order to search for data. Justclick the mouse, and the information we need will pop up on thecomputer screen in a few seconds”。 注意“in few seconds”是不对的，一定要用“in a fewseconds”。
5. 第二段第四句中的“who are enabled to listen to English regardless of placesand time with the help of the products”建议改为“With these gadgets, we areable to listen to English whenever and wherever we want”。本句中“regardlessof places and time”用得不合适。作者的实际意思是“想在哪儿(什么时间)听，就在哪儿(什么时间)听”。 “regardlessof”的意思是“不受……影响(without being affected by)”，例如：
The law requires equal treatment regardless of race, religion or sex.
6. 第二段第六句中的“due to digital cameras and the like, photographs can betaken or deleted at will without we worrying about the cost offilms”。应改为“with digital cameras we can take photographs or delete themat will without worrying about the cost of film”。原句中的“without weworrying”是错误的，应改为“without us/ourworrying”。可是原句是被动语态，接上去也很别扭，改成主动语态就顺得多了。
7. 第三段第一句中的“made a great influence on our work”应改为“made a great impacton our work” 或“exerted a great influence on ourwork”。这里主要是词语的习惯搭配的问题。英美人不讲“make an influence on”。