结过十次婚，却依然是处女？

来源10 Husbands, Still a Virgin
译者heather_pan

A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced ten husbands.

一个律师和一个已经离了十次婚的女人结了婚。

On their wedding night, she told her new husband, "Please be gentle, I'm still a virgin."

在他们洞房花烛之夜，新婚妻子对她的新丈夫说，“请温柔一点，我还是个处女呢。”

"What?" said the puzzled groom.

“什么？”新郎感到很奇怪。

"How can that be if you've been married ten times?"

“你都结果十次婚了，怎么还可能是处女？”

"Well, Husband #1 was a sales representative: he kept telling me how great it was going to be.

“我的第一任丈夫是个销售代表：他总是不停地告诉我我们在一起会如何如何妙不可言”

Husband #2 was in software services: he was never really sure how it was supposed to function, but he said he'd look into it and get back to me.

“第二任丈夫在软件服务公司上班：他总是对性能不太确定，他说他会检查确定无误后在说。”

Husband #3 was from field services: he said everything checked out diagnostically but he just couldn't get the system up.

“第三任丈夫是从事现场服务的：他说要准确检测好每一方面，但是他始终没有完善好整个系统。”

Husband #4 was in telemarketing: even though he knew he had the order, he didn't know when he would be able to deliver.

“第四任丈夫是干电话营销的：虽然他很清楚现在他搞到订单了，但他却不直到什么时候应该送货上门。”

Husband #5 was an engineer: he understood the basic process but wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new state-of-the-art method.

“第五任是个工程师：他对基础程序了如指掌，但他却需要花三年的时间去研究、实验以设计出一套最新最先进的方法。”

Husband #6 was from finance and administration: he thought he knew how, but he wasn't sure whether it was his job or not.

“第六任丈夫来自于财务管理领域：他知道该怎么做，但他不确定这是不是属于他的工作范畴。”

Husband #7 was in marketing: although he had a nice product, he was never sure how to position it.

“第七任是做市场的：虽然他拥有非常棒的产品，却不知道如何定位。”

Husband #8 was a psychologist: all he ever did was talk about it.

“第八任丈夫是个心理学家：一直以来他擅长的只有说，不停地说。”

Husband #9 was a gynecologist: all he did was look at it.

“第九任丈夫是妇科医生：他就只会看。”

Husband #10 was a stamp collector: all he ever did was... God! I miss him! But now that I've married you, I'm really excited!"

“第十任是个集邮爱好者：他就只会。。。天哪！我还挺想他的！不过，无论如何我现在已经嫁给你了，真的好开心啊！”

"Good," said the new husband, "but, why?"

“我的个神啊，”新郎说，“但，为什么嫁给我这么开心呢？”

"You're a lawyer. This time I know I'm gonna get screwed!"

“因为你是个律师啊，这次我可要被拧得够呛了（死定了）啊~”