我用一生去寻找 - 4.个人生存仰赖于生命共同体

611个读者 Rumin @ yeeyan.com 6天前11:43 协作翻译 字体大小 小 中 大

简介

我用一生去寻找 - 4.个人生存仰赖于生命共同体

在与他人相处的过程中，爱他人，对他人有益，这是一个基本前提。有了这个前提，你与他人的关系自然会发展成为磋商型的社会关系。

When getting along with others, the basic premise is to love and benefit them. Having this premise, your relationship with others naturally becomes to be a consultation-type social relation.

在我们的现实生活中，常常存在着四种不好的人际关系模式：保护式、自以为是式、独裁式和操纵式。这四种模式在我们的生活中存在的时间很久，可能在奴隶社会、封建社会、资本主义社会中这些关系是有效的，可以解决一些眼前的问题。但是社会发展到了今天，再用这些关系模式来解决我们的问题，已经远远不够了。它们不仅仅不能解决问题，还会制造问题。我们说有时候解决问题的方法会成为制造问题的东西，就是指这种情况。

In our real life, there often exist 4 kinds of bad human relations which are of protection, self-righteous, dictatorship and manipulation types. The 4 types of human relations have been lasted long in our lives. They could have been effective in the society of slavery, feudalism and capitalism where they could solve some immediate problems. But in today's advanced society, it's far from enough to solve our problems using them. Not only they cannot solve problems, but raise them. That is why we say a bad method for solving a problem would sometimes become to be the one which raises them.

既然它们在当今社会里已经成为问题，就会被解决掉。这只是一个时间问题，只是改变人们的思维和行为习惯的时间问题，尤其是新的、更有利于人类团结与合作的社会关系出现后，这一改变的速度就加快了。这种新的社会关系，就是磋商型的社会关系。

The bad human relations will be eliminated form today's society eventually, but it needs time to change peoples' thinking habit and behavior. After a new social relation that is better for cooperation emerged, the changing speed became faster. The new social relation is of Consultation-type.

人类进程几千年的历史中，200年之前的变化是非常缓慢的，变化也是非常简单的。但最近一二百年的时间里，人类的生活发生了翻天覆地的变化，变化的速度更快、更丰富、更复杂，能够生活在这样一个丰富的年代是我们的幸运。但在庆幸的同时我们又如何来面对这个复杂、丰富的社会，又如何来处理更复杂的人际关系与事务呢？如果我们再延续已有的（上述四种）思维模式，我们在处理问题时会非常的失望、沮丧,有些事情会陷入恶性循环,永远没有出路,见不到光明。

In the thousand years of human civilization history, the changing of 200 years ago was slow and simple. But in the latest 100 or 200 years, human's life got enormous change. The changing got faster, more diverse and more complex. It's our luck to live in such a diverse era. But how do we face the complex and diverse society, and how to deal with more complex human relations and affairs? If we continue to use above 4 types of concepts, we would be very disappointed and depressed when solving problems. Some problems would be brought into a vicious cycle and we would never find a solution

保护式、自以为是式、独裁式和操纵式这四种模式的一个共同问题是没有让大家都参与其中，不平等，参与者的出发点不是爱他人，而仅仅是爱自己。其中会有一些人的个性和才能因为受到压抑、不满于分配而没有很好地发挥，即使发挥，也是发挥在勾心斗角的阴谋、造反与镇压等暴力行为上。这既违背了爱的主旨，也伤害和平的理想。我想我们应该以一种更有效的办法面对我们的新世纪，那就是磋商，永远地磋商，君子动口不动手，唯有磋商才能创造美好的未来。

A common problem for protection, self-righteous, dictatorship and manipulation types is that not everyone is allowed to participate with fairness. The basic attitude for participating is not to love others but themselves. The personality and intelligence of some participants cannot be well demonstrated as they are oppressed or not satisfied with the benefit share. Even if demonstrated, they are out of deceit or riot. It violates the keynote of love and ideal of peace. I think we should use a more efficient method to face our new era. That is "Consultation". Wise person uses his tongue, but not fists. Only consultation will create a wonderful future.

事实上，我们这个社会，除了科学的高度发展之外，同时也变成了一个人人相互服务获得共生的社会。今天，我们所使用的东西95％以上都不是我们自己生产和制造的。我们吃的食物、穿的衣服，我们使用的电脑、汽车、手机，这些都是他人为我们提供的，都是我们以我们的服务换来的他人的服务。这个社会中的人只有处在“我为别人服务，同时别人也为我提供服务”的状态当中，用这种服务精神把自己维持在全人类构成的生命共同体中，才能获得自己的生存。所以，在今天，服务的精神要比以往任何一个时代都显得重要。我们的员工要为自己的同事提供服务，要为公司提供服务，要为合作单位提供服务，还要为家庭提供服务，最后要为全社会提供服务。如果没有这种服务精神，我们就无法在这个社会中生存。如果服务精神差，我们的公司业绩就不能继续提高，整个社会也不能够和谐地往下发展。一个社会、一个国家、一个公司就像人体一样，各部分都有它特定的功能，只有相互服务，彼此协调，才能够成长为一个健康协调的身体。

In fact, besides high technique development level, our society had become to be the one that all the people serve each other for their lives. Today, more than 95% of items we use are not made by ourselves. Foods we eat, clothes we wear, computer, car, cell phone we use are all provided by others from our services. People in the society can be alive only if they have the attitude of "I serve others, and others serve me", and put themselves into the human community. So, service consciousness today is more important than that in any other era. Our employees have to serve their colleagues, their company, their cooperators, as well as their family members. In other words, they have to serve the whole society. Without the service consciousness, we'll not be alive in the society. If it is not good enough, our company achievement will not be continuously increased, the whole society will not be harmoniously developed. A society, state or company is just like a human body in which every part has its specific function. A healthy society will be built only when everyone serves each other and cooperates.

服务于他人的精神是当今社会中任何人都应该具有的基本品德。要为他人提供服务，必须了解对方需求，形成供应形式，这里面必须进行频繁、有效的磋商。

Consciousness of serving others is the basic morality everyone must have in today's society. To serve others, you have to understand their needs then find a supply solution. For that, frequent and efficient consultation is necessary.

今天，我们看到交换服务的社会基础结构已经形成，磋商型的人际关系格局迅速大规模形成，这并不奇怪。其实磋商这个词语不是新词，而磋商型的关系也并非第一次出现。在过去等级森严的制度里面，每一个阶层里面都有他们的“圈子俱乐部”。在圈子里面是有磋商的，但他们磋商的目的只是照顾本集团、本阶层的利益。他们在内也许是平等互利的，而对外却是不公平的。在这种狭隘的阶层、圈子结构中间，我们所谓的团结，是少数人的团结。

We see now, the basic structure of service exchange had been formed, and the structure of consultation-type human relation has been forming rapidly and in a large scope. In fact, the word "consultation" is not a new one, and the consultation-type relation isn't new either. In the past society with distinct classes, there was its own "club" for every class. Consultation happened in the circle. Its target was only to benefit the group or the class. They benefited each other maybe in the circle, but were not fair to others outside it. The so-called cooperation in a narrow class and circle was that for the few.

就拿我们这一代人来说吧，我们最早认识团结这个词，是在过去年代的特殊语境中，团结就是一些人去打击另外一些人。我们团结的是和我们相同的人，具有相同的信仰、社会地位、价值观等等；而对那些具有不同的信仰、社会地位、价值观，甚至不同的籍贯、民族、方言、风格的人都不作为团结的对象，都是以批判、改造、粉碎、打倒之类的字眼和方式来对待。这样的团结不是真正的团结，这种狭隘意义上的团结实际上是把团结作为一种手段，最终带来的是分裂、斗争，甚至战争。一位团结的缔造者一定要能够发挥其他人的才智，营造出团结的环境，而不是去摘取他人的果实。因为团结是需要把各种不同类型的人的才智汇集起来。就像健康的人体，是人体各个器官各自发挥不同的作用而取得的结果，但这些器官的功能和在人体中起的作用又是完全不一样的。在人体中，所有器官都没有重要和不重要之分，因为不管哪个器官出了问题，都有可能导致衰退、死亡。人类社会、我们的公司、我们的团队也是同样的道理。

Take our generation as an example. We learnt the word "cooperation" first time when we were in a special language environment. Cooperation meant one group to strike another one. We only cooperated with the persons with the same belief, social status, value and etc. as ours. But to others who had different belief, social status, value, even different native place, nationality, dialect and life style, we never cooperated with them, but condemned, reformed, "smashed" and beat down them. This kind of cooperation was not a real one, but took the cooperation as a meant which eventually resulted in split, struggle even war. An organizer for cooperation must be capable of inspire others' intelligence, build an environment for cooperation, but not pick up others' achievements. Cooperation is to gather the intelligence of all kinds of persons. It is just like a healthy body consisted of all the organs which function in the body. The functions of those organs in the body are totally different. In human's body, all the organs are important, and any trouble would result in crack-up or death. It's the same in our human society, our company and our team.

社会制度的进步，就是磋商跨越固有界限，适用人群日渐扩大，同时也逐渐适用于不同性质的行为。无论是公开的社会活动，还是私密的男女关系，里面都有磋商。磋商具有普世价值。

The progress of social system is such an activity that consultation crosses over its original limitation and is applicable to increasing public and different affairs. Consultation exists in whether public social activities or private sexual relations. It has universal value.