啊Q正傳 中英文版

The True Story of Ah-Q
Lu Xun
The True Story of Ah-Q
Chapter One: Introduction
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For several years now I have been meaning to write the true story of Ah Q. But while wanting to write I was in some trepidation, too, which goes to show that I am not one of those who achieve glory by writing; for an immortal pen has always been required to record the deeds of an immortal man, the man becoming known to posterity through the writing and the writing known to posterity through the man—until finally it is not clear who is making whom known. But in the end, as though possessed by some fiend, I always came back to the idea of writing the story of Ah Q.
And yet no sooner had I taken up my pen than I became conscious of tremendous difficulties in writing this far-from-immortal work. The first was the question of what to call it. Confucius said, "If the name is not correct, the words will not ring true"; and this axiom should be most scrupulously observed. There are many types of biographies: official biographies, autobiographies, unauthorized biographies, legends, supplementary biographies, family histories, sketches . . . but unfortunately none of these suited my purpose. "Official biography?" This account will obviously not be included with those of many eminent people in some authentic history. "Autobiography?" But I am obviously not Ah Q. If I were to call this an "unauthorized biography," then where is his "authenticated biography"? The use of "legend" is impossible, because Ah Q was no legendary figure. "Supplementary biography"? But no president has ever ordered the National Historical Institute to write a "standard life" of Ah Q. It is true that although there are no "lives of gamblers" in authentic English history, the famous author Conan Doyle nevertheless wrote Rodney Stone;1 but while this is permissible for a famous author it is not permissible for such as I. Then there is "family history"; but I do nor know whether I belong to the same family as Ah Q or not, nor have his children or grandchildren ever entrusted me with such a task. If I were to use "sketch," it might be objected that Ah Q has no "complete account." In short, this is really a "life," but since I write in vulgar vein using the language of hucksters and pedlars, I dare not presume to give it so high-sounding a title. So from the stock phrase of the novelists, who are not reckoned among the Three Cults and Nine Schools.2 "Enough of this digression, and back to the true story!" I will take the last two words as my title; and if this is reminiscent of the True Story of Calligraphy3 of the ancients, it cannot be helped.
The second difficulty confronting me was that a biography of this type should start off something like this: "So-and-so, whose other name was so-and-so, was a native of such-and-such a place"; but I don‘t really know what Ah Q‘s surname was. Once, he seemed to be named Chao, but the next day there was some confusion about the matter again. This was after Mr. Chao‘s son had passed the county examination, and, to the sound of gongs, his success was announced in the village. Ah Q, who had just drunk two bowls of yellow wine, began to prance about declaring that this reflected credit on him too, since he belonged to the same clan as Mr. Chao, and by an exact reckoning was three generations senior to the successful candidate. At the time several bystanders even began to stand slightly in awe of Ah Q. But the next day the bailiff summoned him to Mr. Chao‘s house. When the old gentleman set eyes on him his face turned crimson with fury and he roared:
"Ah Q, you miserable wretch! Did you say I belonged to the same clan as you?"
Ah Q made no reply.
The more he looked at him the angrier Mr. Chao became, and advancing menacingly a few steps he said, "How dare you talk such nonsense! How could I have such a relative as you? Is your surname Chao?"
Ah Q made no reply, and was planning a retreat, when Mr. Chao darted forward and gave him a slap on the face.
"How could you be named Chao!—Do you think you are worthy of the name Chao?"
Ah Q made no attempt to defend his right to the name Chao, but rubbing his left cheek went out with the bailiff. Once outside, he had to listen to another torrent of abuse from the bailiff, and thank him to the tune of two hundred cash. All who heard this said Ah Q was a great fool to ask for a beating like that. Even if his surname were Chao—which wasn‘t likely—he should have known better than to boast like that when there was a Mr. Chao living in the village. After this no further mention was made of Ah Q‘s ancestry, so that I still don‘t know what his surname really was.
The third difficulty I encountered in writing this work was that I don‘t know how Ah Q‘s personal name should be written either. During his lifetime everybody called him Ah Quei, but after his death not a soul mentioned Ah Quei again; for be was obviously not one of those whose name is "preserved on bamboo tablets and silk."4 If there is any question of preserving his name, this essay must be the first attempt at doing so. Hence I am confronted with this difficulty at the outset. I have given the question careful thought: Ah Quei—would that be the "Quei" meaning cassia or the "Quei" meaning nobility? If his other name had been Moon Pavilion, or if he had celebrated his birthday in the month of the Moon Festival, then it would certainly be the "Quei" for cassia.5 But since he had no other name—or if he had, no one knew it—and since he never sent out invitations on his birthday to secure complimentary verses, it would be arbitrary to write Ah Quei (cassia). Again, if he had had an elder or younger brother called Ah Fu (prosperity), then he would certainly be called Ah Quei (nobility). But he was all on his own: thus there is no justification for writing Ah Quei (nobility). All the other, unusual characters with the sound Quei are even less suitable. I once put this question to Mr. Chao‘s son, the successful county candidate, but even such a learned man as he was baffled by it. According to him, however, the reason why this name could not be traced was that Chen Tu-hsiu6 had brought out the magazine New Youth, advocating the use of the Western alphabet, so that the national culture was going to the dogs. As a last resort, I asked someone from my district to go and look up the legal documents recording Ah Q‘s case, but after eight months he sent me a letter saying that there was no name anything like Ah Quei in those records. Although uncertain whether this was the truth or whether my friend had simply done nothing, after failing to trace the name this way I could think of no other means of finding it. Since I am afraid the new system of phonetics has not yet come into common use, there is nothing for it but to use the Western alphabet, writing the name according to the English spelling as Ah Quei and abbreviating it to Ah Q. This approximates to blindly following the New Youth magazine, and I am thoroughly ashamed of myself; but since even such a learned man as Mr. Chao‘s son could not solve my problem, what else can I do?
My fourth difficulty was with Ah Q‘s place of origin. If his surname were Chao, then according to the old custom which still prevails of classifying people by their districts, one might look up the commentary in The Hundred Surnames7 and find "A native of Tienshui in Kansu Province." But unfortunately this surname is open to question, with the result that Ah Q‘s place of origin must also remain uncertain. Although he lived for the most part in Weichuang, he often stayed in other places, so that it would be wrong to call him a native of Weichuang. It would, in fact, amount to a distortion of history.
The only thing that consoles me is the fact that the character "Ah" is absolutely correct. This is definitely not the result of false analogy, and is well able to stand the test of scholarly criticism. As for the other problems, it is not for such unlearned people as myself to solve them, and I can only hope that disciples of Dr. Hu Shih, who has such "a passion for history and antiquities,"8 may be able in future to throw new light on them. I am afraid, however, that by that time my True Story of Ah Q will have long since passed into oblivion.
The foregoing may be considered as an introduction.
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1. In Chinese this novel was called Supplementary Biographies of the Gamblers.
2. The Three Cults were Confucianism, Buddhism and Taoism. The Nine Schools included the Confucian, Taoist, Legalist and Moist schools, as well as others. Novelists, who did not belong to any of these, were considered not quite respectable.
3. A book by Feng Wu of the Ching dynasty (1644-1911).
4. A phrase first used in the third century B.C. Bamboo and silk were writing material in ancient China.
5. The cassia blooms in the month of the Moon Festival. Also, according to Chinese folklore, it is believed that the shadow on the moon is a cassia tree.
6. 1880-1942. A professor of Peking University at this time, he edited the monthly New Youth. Later he became a renegade from the Chinese Communist Party.
7. An old school primer, in which the surnames were written into verse.
8. This phrase was often used in self-praise by Hu Shih, the well-known reactionary politician and writer.
Lu Xun
The True Story of Ah-Q
Chapter Two: A Brief Account of Ah-Q‘s Victories
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In addition to the uncertainty regarding Ah Q‘s surname, personal name, and place of origin, there is even some uncertainty regarding his "background." This is because the people of Weichuang only made use of his services or treated him as a laughing-stock, without ever paying the slightest attention to his "background." Ah Q himself remained silent on this subject, except that when quarrelling with someone he might glance at him and say, "We used to be much better off than you! Who do you think you are anyway?"
Ah Q had no family but lived in the Tutelary God‘s Temple at Weichuang. He had no regular work either, simply doing odd jobs for others: were there wheat to be cut he would cut it, were there rice to be ground he would grind it, were there a boat to be punted he would punt it. If the work lasted for a considerable period he might stay in the house of his temporary employer, but as soon as it was finished he would leave. Thus whenever people had work to be done they would remember Ah Q, but what they remembered was his service and not his "background"; and by the time the job was done even Ah Q himself was forgotten, to say nothing of his "background." Once indeed an old man remarked, "What a good worker Ah Q is!" At that time Ah Q, stripped to the waist, listless and lean, was standing before him, and other people did not know whether the remark was meant seriously or derisively, but Ah Q was overjoyed.
Ah Q, again, had a very high opinion of himself. He looked down on all the inhabitants of Weichuang, thinking even the two young "scholars" not worth a smile, though most young scholars were likely to pass the official examinations. Mr. Chao and Mr. Chien were held in great respect by the villagers, for in addition to being rich they were both the fathers of young scholars. Ah Q alone showed them no exceptional deference, thinking to himself, "My sons may be much greater!"
Moreover, after Ah Q had been to town several times, he naturally became even more conceited, although at the same time he had the greatest contempt for townspeople. For instance, a bench made of a wooden plank three feet by three inches the Weichuang villagers called a "long bench." Ah Q called it a "long bench" too; but the townspeople called it a "straight bench," and he thought, "This is wrong. How ridiculous!" Again, when they fried large-headed fish in oil the Weichuang villagers all added shallot leaves sliced half an inch long, whereas the townspeople added finely shredded shallots, and he thought, "This is wrong too. How ridiculous!" But the Weichuang villagers were really ignorant rustics who had never seen fish fried in town!
Ah Q who "used to be much better off," who was a man of the world and "a good worker," would have been almost the perfect man had it nor been for a few unfortunate physical blemishes. The most annoying were some places on his scalp where in the past, at some uncertain dare, shiny ringworm scars had appeared. Although these were on his own head, apparently Ah Q did not consider them as altogether honourable, for he refrained from using the word "ringworm" or any words that sounded anything like it. Later he improved on this, making "bright" and "light" forbidden words, while later still even "lamp" and "candle" were taboo. Whenever this taboo was disregarded, whether intentionally or not, Ah Q would fly into a rage, his ringworm scars turning scarlet. He would look over the offender, and if it were someone weak in repartee he would curse him, while if it were a poor fighter he would hit him. Yet, curiously enough, it was usually Ah Q who was worsted in these encounters, until finally he adopted new tactics, contenting himself in general with a furious glare.
It so happened, however, that after Ah Q had taken to using this furious glare, the idlers in Weichuang grew even more fond of making jokes at his expense. As soon as they saw him they would pretend to give a start, and say:
"Look! It‘s lighting up."
Ah Q would rise to the bait as usual, and glare furiously.
"So there is a paraffin lamp here," they would continue, not in the least intimidated.
Ah Q could do nothing but rack his brains for some retort: "You don‘t even deserve. . . ." At this juncture it seemed as if the scars on his scalp were noble and honourable, not just ordinary ringworm scars. However, as we said above, Ah Q was a man of the world: he knew at once that he had neatly broken the "taboo" and refrained from saying any more.
If the idlers were still not satisfied, but continued to bait him, they would in the end come to blows. Then only after Ah Q had, to all appearances, been defeated, had his brownish pigtail pulled and his head bumped against the wall four or five times, would the idlers walk away, satisfied at having won. Ah Q would stand there for a second, thinking to himself, "It is as if I were beaten by my son. What is the world coming to nowadays. . . ." Thereupon he too would walk away, satisfied at having won.
Whatever Ah Q thought he was sure to tell people later; thus almost all who made fun of Ah Q knew that he had this means of winning a psychological victory. So after this anyone who pulled or twisted his brown pigtail would forestall him by saying: "Ah Q, this is not a son beating his father, it is a man beating a beast. Let‘s hear you say it: A man bearing a beast!"
Then Ah Q, clutching at the root of his pigtail, his head on one side, would say: "Beating an insect—how about that? I am an insect—now will you let me go?"
But although he was an insect the idlers would not let him go until they had knocked his head five or six times against something nearby, according to their custom, after which they would walk away satisfied that they had won, confident that this time Ah Q was done for. In less than ten seconds, however, Ah Q would walk away also satisfied that he had won, thinking that he was the "foremost self-belittler," and that after subtracting "self-belittler" what remained was "foremost." Was not the highest successful candidate in the official examination also the "foremost"? "And who do you think you are anyway?"
After employing such cunning devices to get even with his enemies, Ah Q would make his way cheerfully to the wine shop to drink a few bowls of wine, joke with the others again, quarrel with them again, come off victorious again, and return cheerfully to the Tutelary God‘s Temple, there to fall asleep as soon as his head touched the pillow. If he had money he would gamble. A group of men would squat on the ground, Ah Q sandwiched in their midst, his face streaming with perspiration; and his voice would shout the loudest: "Four hundred on the Green Dragon!"
"Hey—open there!" the stakeholder, his face streaming with perspiration too, would open the box and chant: "Heavenly Gate! . . . Nothing for the Corner! . . . No stakes on the Popularity Passage! Pass over Ah Q‘s coppers!"
"The Passage—one hundred—one hundred and fifty."
To the tune of this chanting, Ah Q‘s money would gradually vanish into the pockets of other perspiring people. Finally he would be forced to squeeze his way out of the crowd and watch from the back, taking a vicarious interest in the game until it broke up, when he would return reluctantly to the Tutelary God‘s Temple. The next day he would go to work with swollen eyes.
However, the truth of the proverb "misfortune may be a blessing in disguise" was shown when Ah Q was unfortunate enough to win and almost suffered defeat in the end.
This was the evening of the Festival of the Gods in Weichuang. According to custom there was a play; and close to the stage, also according to custom, were numerous gambling tables. The drums and gongs of the play sounded about three miles away to Ah Q who had ears only for the stake-holder‘s chant. He staked successfully again and again, his coppers turning into silver coins, his silver coins into dollars, and his dollars mounting up. In his excitement he cried our, "Two dollars on Heavenly Gate!"
He never knew who started the fight, nor for what reason. Curses, blows and footsteps formed a confused medley of sound in his head, and by the time he clambered to his feet the gambling tables had vanished and so had the gamblers. Several parts of his body seemed to be aching as if he had been kicked and knocked about, while a number of people were looking at him in astonishment. Feeling as if there were something amiss, he walked back to the Tutelary God‘s Temple, and by the time he regained his composure he realized that his pile of dollars had disappeared. Since most of the people who ran gambling tables at the Festival were not natives of Weichuang, where could he look for the culprits?
So white and glittering a pile of silver! It had all been his . . . but now it had disappeared. Even to consider it tantamount to being robbed by his son did not comfort him. To consider himself as an insect did not comfort him either. This time he really tasted something of the bitterness of defeat.
But presently he changed defeat into victory. Raising his right hand he slapped his own face hard twice, so that it tingled with pain. After this slapping his heart felt lighter, for it seemed as if the one who had given the slap was himself, the one slapped some other self, and soon it was just as if he had beaten someone else—in spite of the fact that his face was still tingling. He lay down satisfied that he had gained the victory.
Soon he was asleep.
Lu Xun
The True Story of Ah-Q
Chapter 3: A Further Account of Ah-Q‘s Victories
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Although Ah Q was always gaining victories, it was only after he was favoured with a slap on the face by Mr. Chao that he became famous.
After paying the bailiff two hundred cash he lay down angrily. Later he said to himself, "What is the world coming to nowadays, with sons beating their parents. . . ." Then the thought of the prestige of Mr. Chao, who was now his son, gradually raised his spirits, and he got up and went to the wine shop singing The Young Widow at Her Husband‘s Grave. At that time he did feel that Mr. Chao was a cut above most people.
After this incident, strange to relate, it was true that everybody seemed to pay him unusual respect. He probably attributed this to the fact that he was Mr. Chao‘s father, but actually such was not the case. In Weichuang, as a rule, if the seventh child hit the eighth child or Li So-and-so hit Chang So-and-so, it was not taken seriously. A heating had to be connected with some important personage like Mr. Chao before the villagers thought it worth talking about. But once they thought it worth talking about, since the beater was famous, the one beaten enjoyed some of his reflected fame. As for the fault being Ah Q‘s, that was naturally taken for granted, the reason being that Mr. Chao could not possibly be wrong. But if Ah Q were wrong, why did everybody seem to treat him with unusual respect? This is difficult to explain. We may put forward the hypothesis that it was because Ah Q had said he belonged to the same family as Mr. Chao; thus, although he had been beaten, people were still afraid there might be some truth in what he said and therefore thought it safer to treat him more respectfully. Or, alternatively, it may have been like the case of the sacrificial beef in the Confucian temple: although the beef was in the same category as the sacrificial pork and mutton, being of animal origin just as they were, later Confucians did not dare touch it since the sage had enjoyed it.
After this Ah Q prospered for several years.
One spring, when he was walking along in a state of happy intoxication, he saw Whiskers Wang sitting stripped to the waist in the sunlight at the foot of a wall, catching lice; and at this sight his own body began to itch. Since Whiskers Wang was scabby and bewhiskered, everybody called him "Ringworm Whiskers Wang." Although Ah Q omitted the word "Ringworm," he had the greatest contempt for the man. Ah Q felt that while scabs were nothing to take exception to, such hairy cheeks were really too outlandish, and could excite nothing but scorn. So Ah Q sat down by his side. If it had been any other idler, Ah Q would never have dared sit down so casually; but what had he to fear by the side of Whiskers Wang? To tell the truth, the fact that he was willing to sit down was an honour for Wang.
Ah Q took off his tattered lined jacket, and turned it inside out; but either because he had washed it recently or because he was too clumsy, a long search yielded only three or four lice. He saw that Whiskers Wang, on the other hand, was catching first one and then another in swift succession, cracking them in his teeth with a popping sound.
Ah Q felt first disappointed, then resentful: the despicable Whiskers Wang could catch so many while he himself had caught so few—what a great loss of face! He longed to catch one or two big ones, but there were none, and it was only with considerable difficulty that he managed to catch a middle-sized one, which he thrust fiercely into his mouth and bit savagely; but it only gave a small sputtering sound, again inferior to the noise Whiskers Wang was making.
All Ah Q‘s scars turned scarlet. Flinging his jacket on the ground, he spat and said, "Hairy worm!"
"Mangy dog, who are you calling names?" Whiskers Wang looked up contemptuously.
Although the relative respect accorded him in recent years had increased Ah Q‘s pride, when confronted by loafers who were accustomed to fighting he remained rather timid. On this occasion, however, he was feeling exceptionally pugnacious. How dare a hairy-cheeked creature like this insult him?
"Anyone who the name fits," said Ah Q standing up, his hands on his hips.
"Are your bones itching?" demanded Whiskers Wang, standing up too and putting on his coat.
Thinking that Wang meant to run away, Ah Q stepped forward raising his fist to punch him. But before his fist came down, Whiskers Wang had already seized him and given him a tug which sent him staggering. Then Whiskers Wang seized Ah Q‘s pigtail and started dragging him towards the wall to knock his head in the time-honoured manner.
"‘A gentleman uses his tongue but not his hands!‘" protested Ah Q, his head on one side.
Apparently Whiskers Wang was no gentleman, for without paying the slightest attention to what Ah Q said he knocked his head against the wall five times in succession, and gave him a great shove which sent him staggering two yards away. Only then did Whiskers Wang walk away satisfied.
As far as Ah Q could remember, this was the first humiliation of his life, because he had always scoffed at Whiskers Wang on account of his ugly bewhiskered cheeks, but had never been scoffed at, much less beaten by him. And now, contrary to all expectations, Whiskers Wang had beaten him. Perhaps what they said in the market-place was really true: "The Emperor has abolished the official examinations, so that scholars who have passed them are no longer in demand." As a result of this the Chao family must have lost prestige. Was it a result of this, too, that people were treating him contemptuously?
Ah Q stood there irresolutely.
From the distance approached another of Ah Q‘s enemies. This was Mr. Chien‘s eldest son whom Ah Q also despised. After studying in a foreign school in the city, it seemed he had gone to Japan. When he came home half a year later his legs were straight and his pigtail had disappeared. His mother cried bitterly a dozen times, and his wife tried three times to jump into the well. Later his mother told everyone, "His pigtail was cut off by some scoundrel when he was drunk. He would have been able to be an official, but now he will have to wait until it has grown again before he thinks of that." Ah Q did not, however, believe this, and insisted on calling him "Imitation Foreign Devil" and "Traitor in Foreign Pay." As soon as Ah Q saw him he would start cursing under his breath.
What Ah Q despised and detested most in him was his false pigtail. When it came to having a false pigtail, a man could scarcely be considered human; and the fact that his wife had not attempted to jump into the well a fourth time showed that she was not a good woman either.
Now this "Imitation Foreign Devil" was approaching.
"Baldhead—Ass—" In the past Ah Q had cursed under his breath only, inaudibly; but today, because he was in a bad temper and wanted to work off his feelings, the words slipped out involuntarily.
Unfortunately this "baldhead" was carrying a shiny, brown stick which Ah Q called a "staff carried by the mourner." With great strides he bore down on Ah Q who, guessing at once that a beating was impending, hastily braced himself to wait with a stiffened back. Sure enough, there was a resounding thwack which seemed to have alighted on his head.
"I meant him!" explained Ah Q, pointing to a nearby child.
Thwack! Thwack! Thwack!
As far as Ah Q could remember, this was the second humiliation of his life. Fortunately after the thwacking stopped it seemed to him that the matter was closed, and he even felt somewhat relieved. Moreover, the precious "ability to forget" handed down by his ancestors stood him in good stead. He walked slowly away and by the time he approached the wine shop door he felt quite happy again.
Just then, however, a small nun from the Convent of Quiet Self-improvement came walking towards him. The sight of a nun always made Ah Q swear; how much more so, then, after these humiliations? When he recalled what had happened, all his anger revived.
"So all my bad luck today was because I had to see you!" he thought to himself.
He went up to her and spat noisily. "Ugh! . . . . Pah!"
The small nun paid not the least attention, but walked on with lowered head. Ah Q went up to her and shot out a hand to rub her newly shaved scalp, then laughing stupidly said, "Baldhead! Go back quickly, your monk is waiting for you. . . ."
"Who are you pawing? . . ." demanded the nun, blushing crimson as she began to hurry away.
The men in the wine shop roared with laughter. Seeing that his feat was admired, Ah Q began to feel elated.
"If the monk paws you, why can‘t I?" said he, pinching her cheek.
Again the men in the wine shop roared with laughter. Ah Q felt even more pleased, and in order to satisfy those who were expressing approval, he pinched her hard again before letting her go.
During this encounter he had already forgotten Whiskers Wang and the Imitation Foreign Devil, as if all the day‘s bad luck had been avenged. And, strange to relate, even more relaxed than after the beating, he felt light and buoyant as if ready to float into the air.
"Ah Q, may you die sonless!" sounded the little nun‘s voice tearfully in the distance.
Ah Q roared with delighted laughter.
The men in the wine shop roared too, with only slightly less satisfaction.
Lu Xun
The True Story of Ah-Q
Chapter 4: The Tragedies of Love
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There are said to be some victors who take no pleasure in a victory unless their opponents are as fierce as tigers or eagles: if their adversaries are as timid as sheep or chickens they find their triumph empty. There are other victors who, having carried all before them, with the enemy slain or surrendered, cowering in utter subjection, realize that now no foe, rival, or friend is left—they have only themselves, supreme, solitary, desolate, and forlorn. Then they find their triumph a tragedy. But our hero was not so spineless. He was always exultant. This may be a proof of the moral supremacy of China over the rest of the world.
Look at Ah Q, light and elated, as if about to fly!
This victory was not without strange consequences, though. For quite a time he seemed to be flying, and he flew into the Tutelary God‘s Temple, where he would normally have snored as soon as he lay down. This evening, however, he found it very difficult to close his eyes, for he felt as if there were something the matter with his thumb and first finger, which seemed to be smoother than usual. It is impossible to say whether something soft and smooth on the little nun‘s face had stuck to his fingers, or whether his fingers had been rubbed smooth against her cheek.
"Ah Q, may you die sonless!"
These words sounded again in Ah Q‘s ears, and he thought, "Quite right, I should take a wife; for if a man dies sonless he has no one to sacrifice a bowl of rice to his spirit . . . I ought to have a wife." As the saying goes, "There are three forms of unfilial conduct, of which the worst is to have no descendants,"1 and it is one of the tragedies of life that "spirits without descendants go hungry."2 Thus his view was absolutely in accordance with the teachings of the saints and sages, and it is indeed a pity that later he should have run amok.
"Woman, woman! " he thought.
". . . The monk paws. . . . Woman, woman! . . . Woman!" he thought again.
We shall never know when Ah Q finally fell asleep that evening. After this, however, he probably always found his fingers rather soft and smooth, and always remained a little light-headed. "Woman. . . ." he kept thinking.
From this we can see that woman is a menace to mankind.
The majority of Chinese men could become saints and sages, were it not for the unfortunate fact that they are ruined by women. The Shang dynasty was destroyed by Ta Chi, the Chou dynasty was undermined by Pao Szu; as for the Chin dynasty, although there is no historical evidence to that effect, if we assume that it fell on account of some woman we shall probably not be far wrong. And it is a fact that Tung Cho‘s death was caused by Tiao Chan.3
Ah Q, too, was a man of strict morals to begin with. Although we do not know whether he was guided by some good teacher, he had always shown himself most scrupulous in observing "strict segregation of the sexes," and was righteous enough to denounce such heretics as the little nun and the Imitation Foreign Devil. His view was, "All nuns must carry on in secret with monks. If a woman walks alone on the street, she must want to seduce bad men. When a man and a woman talk together, it must be to arrange to meet." In order to correct such people, he would glare furiously, pass loud, cutting remarks, or, if the place were deserted, throw a small stone from behind.
Who could tell that close on thirty, when a man should "stand firm,"4 he would lose his head like this over a little nun? Such light-headedness, according to the classical canons, is most reprehensible; thus women certainly are hateful creatures. For if the little nun‘s face had not been soft and smooth, Ah Q would not have been bewitched by her; nor would this have happened if the little nun‘s face had been covered by a cloth. Five or six years before, when watching an open-air opera, he had pinched the leg of a woman in the audience; but because it was separated from him by the cloth of her trousers he had not had this light-headed feeling afterwards. The little nun had not covered her face, however, and this is another proof of the odiousness of the heretic.
"Woman . . . " thought Ah Q.
He kept a close watch on those women who he believed must "want to seduce bad men," but they did not smile at him. He listened very carefully to those women who talked to him, but not one of them mentioned anything relevant to a secret rendezvous. Ah! This was simply another example of the odiousness of women: they all assumed a false modesty.
One day when Ah Q was grinding rice in Mr. Chao‘s house, he sat down in the kitchen after supper to smoke a pipe. If it had been anyone else‘s house, he could have gone home after supper, but they dined early in the Chao family. Although it was the rule that you must not light a lamp, but go to bed after eating, there were occasional exceptions to the rule. Before Mr. Chao‘s son passed the county examination he was allowed to light a lamp to study the examination essays, and when Ah Q went to do odd jobs he was allowed to light a lamp to grind rice. Because of this latter exception to the rule, Ah Q still sat in the kitchen smoking before going on with his work.
When Amah Wu, the only maidservant in the Chao household, had finished washing the dishes, she sat down on the long bench too and started chatting to Ah Q:
"Our mistress hasn‘t eaten anything for two days, because the master wants to get a concubine. . . ."
"Woman . . . Amah Wu . . . this little widow," thought Ah Q.
"Our young mistress is going to have a baby in the eighth moon . ."
"Woman . . ." thought Ah Q.
He put down his pipe and stood up.
"Our young mistress—" Amah Wu chattered on.
"Sleep with me!" Ah Q suddenly rushed forward and threw himself at her feet.
There was a moment of absolute silence.
"Aiya!" Dumbfounded for an instant, Amah Wu suddenly began to tremble, then rushed out shrieking and could soon be heard sobbing.
Ah Q kneeling opposite the wall was dumbfounded too. He grasped the empty bench with both hands and stood up slowly, dimly aware that something was wrong. In fact, by this time he was in rather a nervous state himself. In a flurry, he stuck his pipe into his belt and decided to go back to the rice. But—bang!—a heavy blow landed on his head, and he spun round to see the successful county candidate standing before him brandishing a big bamboo pole.
"How dare you ... you. . . . ."
The big bamboo pole came down across Ah Q‘s shoulders. When he put up both hands to protect his head, the blow landed on his knuckles, causing him considerable pain. As he escaped through the kitchen door it seemed as if his back also received a blow.
"Turtle‘s egg!" shouted the successful candidate, cursing him in mandarin from behind.
Ah Q fled to the hulling-floor where he stood alone, still feeling a pain in his knuckles and still remembering that "turtle‘s egg" because it was an expression never used by the Weichuang villagers, but only by the rich who had seen something of official life. This made him more frightened, and left an exceptionally deep impression on his mind. By now, however, all thought of "Woman . . . " had flown. After this cursing and beating it seemed as if something were done with, and quite lightheartedly he began to grind rice again. After grinding for some time he felt hot, and stopped to take off his shirt.
While he was taking off his shirt he heard an uproar outside, and since Ah Q always liked to join in any excitement that was going, he went Out in search of the sound. He traced it gradually right into Mr. Chao‘s inner courtyard. Although it was dusk he could see many people there: all the Chao family including the mistress who had not eaten for two days. In addition, their neighbour Mrs. Tsou was there, as well as their relatives Chao Pai-yen and Chao Szu-chen.
The young mistress was leading Amah Wu out of the servants‘ quarters, saying as she did so:
"Come outside . . . don‘t stay brooding in your own room."
"Everybody knows you are a good woman," put in Mrs. Tsou from the side. "You mustn‘t think of committing suicide."
Amah Wu merely wailed, muttering something inaudible.
"This is interesting," thought Ah Q. "What mischief can this little widow be up to?" Wanting to find out, he was approaching Chao Szu-chen when suddenly he caught sight of Mr. Chao‘s eldest son rushing towards him with, what was worse, the big bamboo pole in his hand. The sight of this big bamboo pole reminded him that he had been beaten by it, and be realized that apparently he was connected in some way with this scene of exitement. He turned and ran, hoping to escape to the hulling-floor, not foreseeing that the bamboo pole would cut off his retreat; thereupon he turned and ran in the other direction, leaving without further ado by the back door. In a short time he was back in the Tutelary God‘s Temple.
After Ah Q had sat down for a time, his skin began to form goose pimples and he felt cold, because although it was spring the nights were still quite frosty and nor suited to bare backs. He remembered that he had left his shirt in the Chaos‘ house, but he was afraid if he went to fetch it he might get another taste of the successful candidate‘s bamboo pole.
Then the bailiff came in.
"Curse you, Ah Q!" said the bailiff. "So you can‘t even keep your hands off the Chao family servants, you rebel! You‘ve made me lose my sleep, curse you! . . ."
Under this torrent of abuse Ah Q naturally had nothing to say. Finally, since it was night-time, Ah Q had to pay double and give the bailiff four hundred cash. Because he happened to have no ready money by him, he gave his felt hat as security, and agreed to the following five terms:
1. The next morning Ah Q must take a pair of red candles, weighing one pound, and a bundle of incense sticks to the Chao family to atone for his misdeeds.
2. Ah Q must pay for the Taoist priests whom the Chao family had called to exorcize evil spirits.
3. Ah Q must never again set foot in the Chao household.
4. If anything unfortunate should happen to Amah Wu, Ah Q must be held responsible.
5. Ah Q must not go back for his wages or shirt.
Ah Q naturally agreed to everything, but unfortunately he had no ready money. Luckily it was already spring, so it was possible to do without his padded quilt which he pawned for two thousand cash to comply with the terms stipulated. After kowtowing with bare back he still had a few cash left, but instead of using these to redeem his felt hat from the bailiff, he spent them all on drink.
Actually, the Chao family burned neither the incense nor the candles, because these could be used when the mistress worshipped Buddha and were put aside for that purpose. Most of the ragged shirt was made into diapers for the baby which was born to the young mistress in the eighth moon, while the tattered remainder was used by Amah Wu to make shoe soles.
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1. A quotation from Mencius (372-289 B.C.).
2. A quotation from the old classic Zuo Zhuan.
3. Ta Chi, of the twelfth century B.C., was the concubine of the last king of the Shang dynasty. Pao Szu, of the eighth century B.C., was the concubine of the last king of the Western Chou dynasty. Tiao Chan was the concubine of Tung Cho, a powerful minister of the third century A.D.
4. Confucius said that at thirty he "stood firm." The phrase was later used to indicate that a man was thirty years old.
Lu Xun
The True Story of Ah-Q
Chapter 5: The Problem of Livelihood
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After Ah Q had kowtowed and complied with the Chao family‘s terms, he went back as usual to the Tutelary God‘s Temple. The sun had gone down, and he began to feel that something was wrong. Careful thought led him to the conclusion that this was probably because his back was bare. Remembering that he still had a ragged lined jacket, he put it on and lay down, and when he opened his eyes again the sun was already shining on the top of the west wall. He sat up, saying, "Curse it. . . ."
After getting up he loafed about the streets as usual, until he began to feel that something else was wrong, though this was not to be compared to the physical discomfort of a bare back. Apparently, from that day onwards all the women in Weichuang became shy of Ah Q: whenever they saw him coming they took refuge indoors. In fact, even Mrs. Tsou who was nearly fifty years old retreated in confusion with the rest, calling her eleven-year-old daughter to go inside. This struck Ah Q as very strange. "The bitches!" he thought. "They have suddenly become as coy as young ladies. . . ."
A good many days later, however, he felt even more strongly that something was wrong. First, the wine shop refused him credit; secondly, the old man in charge of the Tutelary God‘s Tem ple made some uncalled-for remarks, as if he wanted Ah Q to leave; and thirdly, for many days—how many exactly he could not remember—not a soul had come to hire him. To be refused credit in the wine shop he could put up with; if the old man kept urging him to leave, Ah Q could just ignore his complaints; but when no one came to hire him he had to go hungry; and this was really a "cursed" state to be in.
When Ah Q could stand it no longer he went to his regular employers‘ houses to find out what was the matter—it was only Mr. Chao‘s threshold that he was not allowed to cross. But he met with a very strange reception. The one to appear was always a man, who looked thoroughly annoyed and waved Ah Q away as if he were a beggar, saying:
"There is nothing, nothing at all! Go away!"
Ah Q found it more and more extraordinary. "These people always needed help in the past," he thought. "They can‘t suddenly have nothing to be done. This looks fishy." After making careful enquiries he found out that when they had any odd jobs they all called in Young D. Now this Young D was a lean and weakly pauper, even lower in Ah Q‘s eyes than Whiskers Wang. Who could have thought that this low fellow would steal his living from him? So this time Ah Q‘s indignation was greater than usual, and going on his way, fuming, he suddenly raised his arm and sang: "I‘ll thrash you with a steel mace. . . . "1
A few days later he did indeed meet Young D in front of Mr. Chien‘s house. "When two foes meet, their eyes flash fire." As Ah Q went up to him, Young D stood still.
"Stupid ass!" hissed Ah Q, glaring furiously and foaming at the mouth.
"I‘m an insect—will that do? " asked Young D.
Such modesty only made Ah Q angrier than ever, but since he had no steel mace in his hand all he could do was to rush forward with outstretched hand to seize Young D‘s pigtail. Young D, while protecting his pigtail with one hand, tried to seize Ah Q‘s with the other, whereupon Ah Q also used one free hand to protect his own pigtail. In the past Ah Q had never considered Young D worth taking seriously, but since he had recently suffered from hunger himself he was now as thin and weak as his opponent, so that they presented a spectacle of evenly matched antagonists. Four hands clutched at two heads, both men bending at the waist, cast a blue, rainbow-shaped shadow on the Chien family‘s white wall for over half an hour.
"All right! All right!" exclaimed some of the onlookers, probably trying to make peace.
"Good, good!" exclaimed others, but whether to make peace, applaud the fighters or incite them on to further efforts, is not certain.
The two combatants turned deaf ears to them all, however. If Ah Q advanced three paces, Young D would recoil three paces, and so they would stand. If Young D advanced three paces, Ah Q would recoil three paces, and so they would stand again. After about half an hour—Weichuang had few striking clocks, so it is difficult to tell the time; it may have been twenty minutes—when steam was rising from their heads and sweat pouring down their cheeks, Ah Q let fall his hands, and in the same second Young D‘s hands fell too. They straightened up simultaneously and stepped back simultaneously, pushing their way out through the crowd.
"You‘ll be hearing from me again, curse you! . . ." said Ah Q over his shoulder.
"Curse you! You‘ll be hearing from me again . . ." echoed Young D, also over his shoulder.
This epic struggle had apparently ended neither in victory nor defeat, and it is not known whether the spectators were satisfied or not, for none of them expressed any opinion. But still not a soul came to hire Ah Q.
One warm day, when a balmy breeze seemed to give some foretaste of summer, Ah Q actually felt cold; but he could put up with this—his greatest worry was an empty stomach. His cotton quilt, felt bar and shirt had long since disappeared, and after that he had sold his padded jacket. Now nothing was left but his trousers, and these of course he could not take off. He had a ragged lined jacket, it is true; but this was certainly worthless, unless he gave it away to be made into shoe soles. He had long hoped to pick up a sum of money on the road, but hitherto he had not been successful; he had also hoped he might suddenly discover a sum of money in his tumbledown room, and had looked wildly all through it, but the room was quite, quite empty. Thereupon he made up his mind to go out in search of food.
As he walked along the road "in search of food" he saw the familiar wine shop and the familiar steamed bread, but he passed them by without pausing for a second, without even hankering after them. It was not these he was looking for, although what exactly he was looking for he did nor know himself.
Since Weichuang was not a big place, he soon left it behind. Most of the country outside the village consisted of paddy fields, green as far as the eye could see with the tender shoots of young rice, dotted here and there with round, black, moving objects, which were peasants cultivating the fields. But blind to the delights of country life, Ah Q simply went on his way, for he knew instinctively that this was far removed from his "search for food." Finally, however, he came to the walls of the Convent of Quiet Self-improvement.
The convent too was surrounded by paddy fields, its white walls standing out sharply in the fresh green, and inside the low earthen wall at the back was a vegetable garden. Ah Q hesitated for a time, looking around him. Since there was no one in sight he scrambled on to the low wall, holding on to some milkwort. The mud wall started crumbling, and Ah Q shook with fear; however, by clutching at the branch of a mulberry tree he managed to jump over it. Within was a wild profusion of vegetation, but no sign of yellow wine, steamed bread, or anything edible. A clump of bamboos, with many young shoots, grew by the west wall but unfortunately these shoots were not cooked. There was also rape which had long since gone to seed; the mustard was already about to flower, and the small cabbages looked very tough.
Ah Q felt as resentful as a scholar who has failed in the examinations. As he walked slowly towards the gate of the garden he gave a start of joy, for there before him what did he see but a patch of turnips! He knelt down and began pulling, when suddenly a round head appeared from behind the gate, only to be withdrawn again at once. This was no other than the little nun. Now though Ah Q had always had the greatest contempt for such people as little nuns, there are times when "Discretion is the better part of valour." He hastily pulled up four turnips, tore off the leaves and folded them in his jacket. By this time an old nun had already come out.
"May Buddha preserve us, Ah Q! What made you climb into our garden to steal turnips! . . . Oh dear, what a wicked thing to do! Oh dear, Buddha preserve us! . . ."
"When did I ever climb into your garden and steal turnips?" retorted Ah Q, as he started off, still looking at her.
"Now—aren‘t you?" said the old nun, pointing at the folds of his jacket.
"Are these yours? Can you make them answer you? You. . . . ."
Leaving his sentence unfinished, Ah Q took to his heels as fast as he could, followed by an enormously fat, black dog. Originally this dog had been at the front gate, and how it reached the back garden was a mystery. With a snarl the black dog gave chase and was just about to bite Ah Q‘s leg when most opportunely a turnip fell from his jacket, and the dog, taken by surprise, stopped for a second. During this time Ah Q scrambled up the mulberry tree, scaled the mud wall and fell, turnips and all, outside the convent. He left the black dog still barking by the mulberry tree, and the old nun saying her prayers.
Fearing that the nun would let the black dog our again, Ah Q gathered together his turnips and ran, picking up a few small stones as he went. But the black dog did not reappear. Ah Q threw away the stones and walked on, eating as he went, thinking to himself: "There is nothing to be had here; I had better go to town. . . ."
By the time he had finished the third turnip, he had made up his mind to go to town.
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1. A line from The Battle of Dragon and Tiger, an opera popular in Shaohsing. It told how Chao Kuang-yin, the first emperor of the Sung dynasty, fought with another general.
Lu Xun
The True Story of Ah-Q
Chapter 6: From Restoration to Decline
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Weichuang did not see Ah Q again till just after the Moon Festival that year. Everybody was surprised to hear of his return, and this made them think back and wonder where he had been all that time. The few previous occasions on which Ah Q had been to town, he had usually informed people in advance with great gusto; but since he had not done so this time, no one had noticed his going. He might have told the old man in charge of the Tutelary God‘s Temple, but according to the custom of Weichuang it was only when Mr. Chao, Mr. Chien, or the successful county candidate went to town that it was considered important. Even the Imitation Foreign Devil‘s going was not talked about, much less Ah Q‘s. This would explain why the old man had not spread the news for him, with the result that the villagers had had no means of knowing.
Ah Q‘s return this time was very different from before, and in fact quite enough to occasion astonishment. The day was growing dark when he appeared blinking sleepily before the door of the wine shop, walked up to the counter, pulled a handful of silver and coppers from his belt and tossed them on the counter. "Cash!" he said. "Bring the wine!" He was wearing a new, lined jacket, and at his waist evidently hung a large purse, the great weight of which caused his belt to sag in a sharp curve. It was the custom in Weichuang that when there seemed to be something unusual about anyone, he should be treated with respect rather than insolence, and now, although they knew quite well that this was Ah Q, still he was very different from the Ah Q of the ragged coat. The ancients say, "A scholar who has been away three days must be looked at with new eyes." So the waiter, innkeeper, customers and passers-by, all quite naturally expressed a kind of suspicion mingled with respect. The innkeeper started by nodding, then said:
"Hullo, Ah Q, so you‘re back!"
"Yes, I‘m back."
"You‘ve made money . . . er . . . where. . .?"
"I went to town."
By the next day this piece of news had spread through Weichuang. And since everybody wanted to hear the success story of this Ah Q of the ready money and the new lined jacket, in the wine shop, tea-house, and under the temple eaves, the villagers gradually ferreted out the news. The result was that they began to treat Ah Q with a new deference.
According to Ah Q, he had been a servant in the house of a successful provincial candidate. This part of the story filled all who heard it with awe. This successful provincial candidate was named Pai, but because he was the only successful provincial candidate in the whole town there was no need to use his surname: whenever anyone spoke of the successful provincial candidate, it meant him. And this was so not only in Weichuang but everywhere within a radius of thirty miles, as if everybody imagined his name to be Mr. Successful Provincial Candidate. To have worked in the household of such a man naturally called for respect; but according to Ah Q‘s further statements, he was unwilling to go on working there because this successful candidate was really too much of a "turtle‘s egg." This part of the story made all who heard it sigh, but with a sense of pleasure, because it showed that Ah Q was actually not fit to work in such a man‘s household, yet not to work was a pity.
According to Ah Q, his return was also due to the fact that he was not satisfied with the townspeople because they called a long bench a straight bench, used shredded shallots to fry fish, and—a defect he had recently discovered—the women did not sway in a very satisfactory manner as they walked. However, the town had its good points too; for instance, in Weichuang everyone played with thirty-two bamboo counters, and only the Imitation Foreign Devil could play mah-jong, but in town even the street urchins excelled at mah-jong. You had only to place the Imitation Foreign Devil in the hands of these young rascals in their teens, for him straightway to become like "a small devil before the King of Hell." This part of the story made all who heard it blush.
"Have you seen an execution?" asked Ah Q. "Ah, that‘s a fine sight. . . . When they execute the revolutionaries. . . . Ah, that‘s a fine sight, a fine sight. . . . ." " As he shook his head, his spittle flew on to the face of Chao Szu-chen who stood directly opposite. This part of the story made all who heard it tremble. Then with a glance around, he suddenly raised his right hand and dropped it on the neck of Whiskers Wang, who, his head thrust forward, was listening with rapt attention.
"Kill!" shouted Ah Q.
Whiskers Wang gave a start, and drew in his head as fast as lightning or a spark struck from a flint, while the bystanders shivered with pleasurable apprehension. After this, Whiskers Wang went about in a daze for many days, and dared not go near Ah Q, nor did the others.
Although we cannot say that in the eyes of the inhabitants of Weichuang Ah Q‘s status at this time was superior to that of Mr. Chao, we can at least affirm without any danger of inaccuracy that it was about the same.
Not long after, Ah Q‘s fame suddenly spread into the women‘s apartments of Weichuang too. Although the only two families of any pretensions in Weichuang were those of Chien and Chao, and nine-tenths of the rest were poor, still women‘s apartments are women‘s apartments, and the way Ah Q‘s fame spread into them was something of a miracle. When the womenfolk met they would say to each other, "Mrs. Tsou bought a blue silk skirt from Ah Q. Although it was old, it only cost ninety cents. And Chao Pai-yen‘s mother (this has yet to be verified, because some say it was Chao Szu-chen‘s mother) bought a child‘s costume of crimson foreign calico, which was nearly new, for only three hundred cash, less eight per cent discount."
Then those who had no silk skirt or needed foreign calico were most anxious to see Ah Q in order to buy from him. Far from avoiding him now, they sometimes followed him when he passed, calling to him to stop.
"Ah Q, have you any more silk skirts?" they would ask. "No? We want foreign calico too. Do you have any?"
This news later spread from the poor households to the rich ones, because Mrs. Tsou was so pleased with her silk skirt that she took it to Mrs. Chao for her approval, and Mrs. Chao told Mr. Chao, speaking very highly of it.
Mr. Chao discussed the matter that evening at dinner with his son, the successful county candidate, suggesting that there must be something queer about Ah Q, and that they should be more careful about their doors and windows. They did not know, though, whether Ah Q had any things left or not, and thought he might still have something good. Since Mrs. Chao happened to want a good, cheap, fur jacket, after a family council it was decided to ask Mrs. Tsou to find Ah Q for them at once. For this a third exception was made to the rule, special permission being given that evening for a lamp to be lit.
A considerable amount of oil had been burned, but still there was no sign of Ah Q. The whole Chao household was yawning with impatience, some of them resented Ah Q‘s undisciplined ways, others angrily blamed Mrs. Tsou for not trying harder to get him there. Mrs. Chao was afraid that Ah Q dared not come because of the terms agreed upon that spring, but Mr. Chao did nor think this anything to worry about, because, as he said, "This time I sent for him." Sure enough, Mr. Chao proved himself a man of insight, for Ah Q finally arrived with Mrs. Tsou.
"He keeps saying he has nothing left," panted Mrs. Tsou as she came in. "When I told him to come and tell you so himself he went on talking. I told him. . . ."
"Sir!" said Ah Q with an attempt at a smile, coming to a halt under the eaves.
"I hear you got rich out there, Ah Q," said Mr. Chao, going up to him and looking him over carefully. "Very good. Now . . . they say you have some old things. . . . Bring them all here for us to look at. . . . This is simply because I happen to want. . . ."
"I told Mrs. Tsou—there is nothing left."
"Nothing left?" Mr. Chao could not help sounding disappointed. "How could they go so quickly?"
"They belonged to a friend, and there was not much to begin with. People bought some. . . . ."
"There must be something left."
"There is only a door curtain left."
"Then bring the door curtain for us to see," said Mrs. Chao hurriedly.
"Well, it will be all right if you bring it tomorrow," said Mr. Chao without much enthusiasm. "When you have anything in future, Ah Q, you must bring it to us first. . . . ."
"We certainly will not pay less than other people!" said the successful county candidate. His wife shot a hasty glance at Ah Q to see his reaction.
"I need a fur jacket," said Mrs. Chao.
Although Ah Q agreed, he slouched out so carelessly that they did not know whether he had taken their instructions to heart or not. This made Mr. Chao so disappointed, annoyed and worried that he even stopped yawning. The successful candidate was also far from satisfied with Ah Q‘s attitude, and said, "People should be on their guard against such a turtle‘s egg. It might be best to order the bailiff to forbid him to live in Weichuang."
Mr. Chao did not agree, saying that he might bear a grudge, and that in a business like this it was probably a case of "the eagle does not prey on its own nest": his own village need not worry, and they need only be a little more watchful at night. The successful candidate, much impressed by this parental instruction, immediately withdrew his proposal for driving Ah Q away, but cautioned Mrs. Tsou on no account to repeat what he had said.
The next day, however, when Mrs. Tsou took her blue skirt to be dyed black she repeated these insinuations about Ah Q, although not actually mentioning what the successful candidate had said about driving him away. Even so, it was most damaging to Ah Q. In the first place, the bailiff appeared at his door and took away the door curtain. Although Ah Q protested that Mrs. Chao wanted to see it, the bailiff would not give it back, and even demanded a monthly payment of hush-money. In the second place, the villagers‘ respect for him suddenly changed. Although they still dared not take liberties, they avoided him as much as possible. While this differed from their previous fear of his "Kill!", it closely resembled the attitude of the ancients to spirits: they kept a respectful distance.
Some idlers who wanted to get to the bottom of the business went to question Ah Q carefully. And with no attempt at concealment, Ah Q told them proudly of his experiences. They learned that he had merely been a petty thief, not only unable to climb walls, but even unable to go through openings: he simply stood outside an opening to receive the stolen goods.
One night he had just received a package and his chief had gone in again, when he heard a great uproar inside, and took to his heels as fast as he could. He fled from the town that same night, back to Weichuang; and after this he dared not return to such a business. This story, however, was even more damaging to Ah Q, since the villagers had been keeping a respectful distance because they did not want to incur his enmity; for who could have guessed that he was only a thief who dared not steal again? Now they knew he was really too low to inspire fear.
Lu Xun
The True Story of Ah-Q
Chapter 7: The Revolution
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On the fourteenth day1 of the ninth moon of the third year in the reign of Emperor Hsuan Tung —the day on which Ah Q sold his purse to Chao Pai-yen—at midnight, after the fourth stroke of the third watch, a large boat with a big black awning came to the Chao family‘s landing place. This boat floated up in the darkness while the villagers were sound asleep, so that they knew nothing about it; but it left again about dawn, when quite a number of people saw it. Investigation revealed that this boat actually belonged to the successful provincial candidate!
This incident caused great uneasiness in Weichuang, and before midday the hearts of all the villagers were beating faster. The Chao family kept very quiet about the errand of the boat, but according to the gossip in the tea-house and wine shop, the revolutionaries were going to enter the town and the successful provincial candidate had come to the country to take refuge. Mrs. Tsou alone thought otherwise, maintaining that the successful provincial candidate merely wanted to deposit a few battered cases in Weichuang, but that Mr. Chao had sent them back. Actually the successful provincial candidate and the successful county candidate in the Chao family were not on good terms, so that it was scarcely logical to expect them to prove friends in adversity; moreover, since Mrs. Tsou was a neighbour of the Chao family and had a better idea of what was going on, she ought to have known.
Then a rumour spread to the effect that although the scholar had not arrived himself, he had sent a long letter tracing some distant relationship with the Chao family; and since Mr. Chao after thinking it over had decided it could, after all, do him no harm to keep the cases, they were now stowed under his wife‘s bed. As for the revolutionaries, some people said they had entered the town that night in white helmets and white armour—in mourning for Emperor Chung Chen.2
Ah Q had long since known of revolutionaries, and this year with his own eyes had seen revolutionaries being decapitated. But since it had occurred to him that the revolutionaries were rebels and that a rebellion would make things difficult for him, he had always detested and kept away from them. Who could have guessed they could so frighten a successful provincial candidate renowned for thirty miles around? In consequence, Ah Q could not help feeling rather "entranced," the terror of all the villagers only adding to his delight.
"Revolution is not a bad thing," thought Ah Q. "Finish off the whole lot of them . . . curse them! . . . I would like to go over to the revolutionaries myself."
Ah Q had been hard up recently, and was probably rather dissatisfied; added to this, he had drunk two bowls of wine at noon on an empty stomach. Consequently, he became drunk very quickly; and as he walked along thinking to himself, he felt again as if he were treading on air. Suddenly, in some curious way, he felt as if the revolutionaries were himself, and all the people in Weichuang were his captives. Unable to contain himself for joy, he could not help shouting loudly:
"Rebellion! Rebellion!"
All the villagers looked at him in consternation. Ah Q had never seen such pitiful looks before, and found them as refreshing as a drink of iced water in midsummer. So he walked on even more happily, shouting:
"All right . . . I shall take what I want! I shall like whom I please!
"Tra la, tra la!
"I regret to have killed by mistake my sworn brother Cheng, in my cups.
"I regret to have killed . . . yah, yah, yah!
"Tra la, tra la, tum ti tum tum!
"I‘ll thrash you with a steel mace."
Mr. Chao and his son were standing at their gate with two relatives discussing the revolution. Ah Q did not see them as he passed with his head thrown back, singing, "Tra la la, tum ti tum!"
"Q, old chap!" called Mr. Chao timidly in a low voice.
"Tra la!" sang Ah Q, unable to imagine that his name could be linked with those words "old chap." Sure that he had heard wrongly and was in no way concerned, he simply went on singing, "Tra la la, tum ti tum!"
"Q, old chap!"
"I regret to have killed. . . ."
"Ah Q!" The successful candidate had to call his name.
Only then did Ah Q come to a stop. "Well?" he asked with his head on one side.
"Q, old chap . . . now. . . ." But Mr. Chao was at a loss for words again. "Are you getting rich now?"
"Getting rich? Of course. I take what I like. . . ."
"Ah—Q, old man, poor friends of yours like us can‘t possibly matter . . ." said Chao Pai-yen apprehensively, as if sounding out the revolutionaries‘ attitude.
"Poor friends? Surely you are richer than I am," replied Ah Q, and walked away.
They stood there despondent and speechless; then Mr. Chao and his son went back to the house, and that evening discussed the question until it was time to light the lamps. When Chao Pai-yen went home he took the purse from his waist and gave it to his wife to hide for him at the bottom of a chest.
For some time Ah Q seemed to be walking on air, but by the time he reached the Tutelary God‘s Temple he was sober again. That evening the old man in charge of the temple was also unexpectedly friendly and offered him tea. Then Ah Q asked him for two flat cakes, and after eating these demanded a four-ounce candle that had been used, and a candlestick. He lit the candle and lay down alone in his little room. He felt inexpressibly refreshed and happy, while the candlelight leaped and flickered as on the Lantern Festival and his imagination soared with it.
"Revolt? It would be fun. . . . A group of revolutionaries would come, all wearing white helmets and white armour, carrying swords, steel maces, bombs, foreign guns, double-edged knives with sharp points and spears with hooks. They would come to the Tutelary God‘s Temple and call out, ‘Ah Q! Come with us, come with us!‘ And then I would go with them. . . .
"Then all those villagers would be in a laughable plight, kneeling down and pleading, ‘Ah Q, spare our lives.‘ But who would listen to them! The first to die would be Young D and Mr. Chao, then the successful county candidate and the Imitation Foreign Devil . . . but perhaps I would spare a few. I would once have spared Whiskers Wang, but now I don‘t even want him. . . .
"Things ... I would go straight in and open the cases: silver ingots, foreign coins, foreign calico jackets. . . . First I would move the Ningpo bed of the successful county candidate‘s wife to the temple, and also move in the Chien family tables and chairs—or else just use the Chao family‘s. I would not lift a finger myself, but order Young D to move the things for me, and to look smart about it, unless he wanted a slap in the face. . . .
"Chao Szu-chen‘s younger sister is very ugly. In a few years Mrs. Tsou‘s daughter might be worth considering. The Imitation Foreign Devil‘s wife is willing to sleep with a man without a pigtail, hah! She can‘t be a good woman! The successful county candidate‘s wife has scars on her eyelids. . . . I have not seen Amah Wu for a long time, and don‘t know where she is—what a pity her feet are so big."
Before Ah Q had reached a satisfactory conclusion, there was a sound of snoring. The four-ounce candle had burned down only half an inch, and its flickering red light lit up his open mouth.
"Ho, ho!" shouted Ah Q suddenly, raising his head and looking wildly around. But when he saw the four-ounce candle, he lay back and went to sleep again.
The next morning he got up very late, and when he went out in to the street everything was the same as usual. He was still hungry, but though he racked his brains he did not seem able to think of anything. Suddenly an idea came to him, and he walked slowly off, until either by design or accident he reached the Convent of Quiet Self-improvement.
The convent was as peaceful as it had been that spring, with its white wall and shining black gate. After a moment‘s reflection, he knocked at the gate, whereupon a dog started barking within. He hastily picked up several pieces of broken brick, then went up again to knock more heavily, knocking until a number of small dents appeared on the black gate. Ar last he heard someone coming to open the door.
Holding his broken bricks, Ah Q hastily stood with his legs wide apart, prepared to do battle with the black dog. The convent door opened a crack, and no black dog rushed out. When he looked in all he could see was the old nun.
"What are you here for again?" she asked, giving a start.
"There is a revolution . . . don‘t you know?" said Ah Q vaguely.
"Revolution, revolution . . . there has already been one," said the old nun, her eyes red from crying. "What do you think will become of us with all your revolutions?"
"What?" asked Ah Q in astonishment.
"Didn‘t you know? The revolutionaries have already been here!"
"Who?" asked Ah Q in even greater astonishment.
"The successful county candidate and the Imitation Foreign Devil."
This came as a complete surprise to Ah Q, who could not help being taken aback. When the old nun saw that he had lost his aggressiveness, she quickly shut the gate, so that when Ah Q pushed it again he could not budge it, and when he knocked again there was no answer.
It had happened that morning. The successful county candidate in the Chao family learned the news quickly, and as soon as he heard that the revolutionaries had entered the town that night, he immediately wound his pigtail up on his head and went out first thing to call on the Imitation Foreign Devil in the Chien family, with whom he had never been on good terms before. Because this was a time for all to work for reforms, they had a very pleasant talk and on the spot became comrades who saw eye to eye and pledged themselves to become revolutionaries.
After racking their brains for some time, they remembered that in the Convent of Quiet Self-improvement there was an imperial tablet inscribed "Long Live the Emperor" which ought to be done away with at once. Thereupon they lost no time in going to the convent to carry out their revolutionary activities. Because the old nun tried to stop them, and put in a few words, they considered her as the Ching government and knocked her on the head many times with a stick and with their knuckles. The nun, pulling herself together after they had gone, made an inspection. Naturally the imperial tablet had been smashed into fragments on the ground, and the valuable Hsuan Te censer3 before the shrine of Kuanyin, the goddess of mercy, had also disappeared.
Ah Q only learned this later. He deeply regretted having been asleep at the time, and resented the fact that they had not come to call him. Then he said to himself, "Maybe they still don‘t know I have joined the revolutionaries."
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1.[Note: Day 14] The day on which Shaohsing was freed in the 1911 Revolution.
2.[Note: Chung Chen] Chung Chen, the last emperor of the Ming dynasty, reigned from 1628 to 1644. He hanged himself before the insurgent peasants army under Li Tzu-cheng entered Peking.
3.[Note: censer] Highly decorative bronze censers were made during the Hsuan Te period (1426-1435) of the Ming dynasty.
Lu Xun
The True Story of Ah-Q
Chapter 8: Barred from the Revolution
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The people of Weichuang became more reassured every day. From the news that was brought they knew that, although the revolutionaries had entered the town, their coming had not made a great deal of difference. The magistrate was still the highest official, it was only his title that had changed; and the successful provincial candidate also had some post—the Weichuang villagers could not remember these names clearly—some kind of official post; while the head of the military was still the same old captain. The only cause for alarm was that, the day after their arrival, some bad revolutionaries made trouble by cutting off people‘s pigtails. It was said that the boatman "Seven Pounder" from the next village had fallen into their clutches, and that he no longer looked presentable. Still, the danger of this was not great, because the Weichuang villagers seldom went to town to begin with, and those who had been considering a trip to town at once changed their minds in order to avoid this risk. Ah Q had been thinking of going to town to look up his old friends, but as soon as he heard the news he became resigned and gave up the idea.
It would be wrong, however, to say that there were no reforms in Weichuang. During the next few days the number of people who coiled their pigtails on their heads gradually increased, and, as has already been said, the first to do so was naturally the successful county candidate; the next were Chao Szu-chen and Chao Pai-yen, and after them Ah Q. If it had been summer it would not have been considered strange if everybody had coiled their pigtails on their heads or tied them in knots; but this was late autumn, so that this autumn observance of a summer practice on the part of those who coiled their pigtails could be considered nothing short of a heroic decision, and as far as Weichuang was concerned it could not be said to have had no connection with the reforms.
When Chao Szu-chen approached with the nape of his neck bare, people who saw him remarked, "Ah! Here comes a revolutionary!"
When Ah Q heard this he was greatly impressed. Although he had long since heard how the successful county candidate had coiled his pigtail on his head, it had never occurred to him to do the same. Only now when he saw that Chao Szuchen had followed suit was he struck with the idea of doing the same himself. He made up his mind to copy them. He used a bamboo chopstick to twist his pigtail up on his head, and after some hesitation eventually summoned up the courage to go out.
As he walked along the street people looked at him, but nobody said anything. Ah Q was very displeased at first, then he became very resentful. Recently he had been losing his temper very easily. As a matter of fact his life was no harder than before the revolution, people treated him politely, and the shops no longer demanded payment in cash, yet Ah Q still felt dissatisfied. He thought since a revolution had taken place, it should involve more than this. When he saw Young D, his anger boiled over.
Young D had also coiled his pigtail up on his head and, what was more, he had actually used a bamboo chopstick to do so too. Ah Q had never imagined that Young D would also have the courage to do this; he certainly could not tolerate such a thing! Who was Young D anyway? He was greatly tempted to seize him then and there, break his bamboo chopstick, let down his pigtail and slap his face several times into the bargain to punish him for forgetting his place and for his presumption in becoming a revolutionary. But in the end he let him off, simply fixing him with a furious glare, spitting, and exclaiming, "Pah!"
These last few days the only one to go to town was the Imitation Foreign Devil. The successful county candidate in the Chao family had thought of using the deposited cases as a pretext to call on the successful provincial candidate, but the danger that he might have his pigtail cut off had made him defer his visit. He had written an extremely formal letter, and asked the Imitation Foreign Devil to take it to town; he had also asked the latter to introduce him to the Liberty Party. When the Imitation Foreign Devil came back he asked the successful county candidate for four dollars, after which the successful county candidate wore a silver peach on his chest. All the Weichuang villagers were overawed, and said that this was the badge of the Persimmon Oil Party,1 equivalent to the rank of a Han Lin.2 As a result, Mr. Chao‘s prestige suddenly increased, far more so in fact than when his son first passed the official examination; consequently he started looking down on everyone else, and, when he saw Ah Q, tended to ignore him a little.
Ah Q was thoroughly discontented at finding himself continually ignored, but as soon as he heard of this silver peach he realized at once why he was left out in the cold. Simply to say that you had gone over was not enough to make anyone a revolutionary; nor was it enough merely to wind your pigtail up on your head; the most important thing was to get into touch with the revolutionary party. In all his life he had known only two revolutionaries, one of whom had already lost his head in town, leaving only the Imitation Foreign Devil. Unless he went at once to talk things over with the Imitation Foreign Devil, no way would be left open to him.
The front gate of the Chien house happened to be open, and Ah Q crept timidly in. Once inside he gave a start, for there he saw the Imitation Foreign Devil standing in the middle of the courtyard dressed entirely in black, no doubt in foreign dress, and also wearing a silver peach. In his hand he held the stick with which Ah Q was already acquainted to his cost, and the foot or so of hair which he had grown again fell over his shoulders, hanging dishevelled like Saint Liu‘s.3 Standing erect before him were Chao Pai-yen and three others, all of them listening with the utmost deference to what the Imitation Foreign Devil was saying.
Ah Q tiptoed inside and stood behind Chao Pai-yen, wanting to utter a greeting, but not knowing what to say. Obviously he could not call the man "Imitation Foreign Devil," and neither "Foreigner" nor "Revolutionary" seemed suitable. Perhaps the best form of address would be "Mr. Foreigner."
But Mr. Foreigner had not seen him, because with eyes raised he was saying with great animation:
"I am so impulsive that when we met I kept saying, ‘Old Hung, we should get on with it!‘ But he always answered ‘Nein!‘—that‘s a foreign word which you wouldn‘t understand. Otherwise we should have succeeded long ago. This is an instance of how cautious he is. He asked me again and again to go to Hupeh, but I wouldn‘t agree. Who wants to work in a small district town? . . ."
"Er—er—" Ah Q waited for him to pause, and then screwed up his courage to speak. But for some reason or other he still did not call him Mr. Foreigner.
The four men who had been listening gave a start and turned to stare at Ah Q. Mr. Foreigner too caught sight of him for the first time.
"What?"
"I. . . ."
"Clear out!"
"I want to join. . . ."
"Get out!" said Mr. Foreigner, lifting the "mourner‘s stick."
Then Chao Pai-yen and the others shouted, "Mr. Chien tells you to get out, don‘t you hear!"
Ah Q put up his hands to protect his head, and without knowing what he was doing fled through the gate; but this time Mr. Foreigner did not give chase. After running more than sixty steps Ah Q slowed down, and began to feel most upset, because if Mr. Foreigner would not allow him to be a revolutionary, there was no other way open to him. In future he could never hope to have men in white helmets and white armour come to call him. All his ambition, aims, hope and future had been blasted at one stroke. The fact that people might spread the news and make him a laughing-stock for the likes of Young D and Whiskers Wang was only a secondary consideration.
Never before had he felt so flat. Even coiling his pigtail on his head now struck him as pointless and ridiculous. As a form of revenge he was very tempted to let his pigtail down at once, but he did not do so. He wandered about till evening, when after drinking two bowls of wine on credit he began to feel in better spirits, and in his mind‘s eye saw fragmentary visions of white helmets and white armour once more.
One day he loafed about until late at night. Only when the wine shop was about to close did he start to stroll back to the Tutelary God‘s Temple.
"Bang—bump!"
He suddenly heard an unusual sound, which could not have been firecrackers. Ah Q, who always liked excitement and enjoyed poking his nose into other people‘s business, went looking for the noise in the darkness. He thought he heard footsteps ahead, and was listening carefully when a man suddenly rushed out in front of him. As soon as Ah Q saw him, he turned and followed as fast as he could. When that man turned, Ah Q turned too, and when after turning a corner that man stopped, Ah Q stopped too. He saw there was no one behind, and that the man was Young D.
"What is the matter?" asked Ah Q resentfully.
"Chao . . . the Chao family has been robbed," panted Young D.
Ah Q‘s heart went pit-a-pat. After telling him this, Young D left. Ah Q ran on, then stopped two or three times. However, since he had once been in the business himself, he felt exceptionally courageous. Emerging from the street corner, he listened carefully and thought he heard shouting; he also looked carefully and thought he could see a lot of men in white helmets and white armour, carrying off cases, carrying off furniture, even carrying off the Ningpo bed of the successful county candidate‘s wife; he could not, however, see them very clearly. He wanted to go nearer, but his feet were rooted to the ground.
There was no moon that night, and Weichuang was very still in the pitch darkness, as quiet as in the peaceful days of the ancient Emperor Fu Hsi.4 Ah Q stood there until he lost interest, yet everything still seemed the same as before; in the distance people moved to and fro, carrying things, carrying off cases, carrying off furniture, carrying off the Ningpo bed of the successful county candidate‘s wife . . . carrying until he could hardly believe his own eyes. But he decided not to go nearer, and went back to the temple.
It was even darker in the Tutelary God‘s Temple. When he had closed the big gate he groped his way into his room, and only after he had been lying down for some time did he feel calm enough to begin thinking how this affected him. The men in white helmets and white armour had evidently arrived, but they had not come to call him; they had taken away many things, but there was no share for him—this was all the fault of the Imitation Foreign Devil, who had barred him from the rebellion. Otherwise how could he have failed to have a share this time?
The more Ah Q thought of it the angrier he grew, until he was in a towering rage. "So no rebellion for me, only for you, eh?" he exclaimed, nodding maliciously. "Curse you, you Imitation Foreign Devil—all right, be a rebel! A rebel is punished by having his head chopped off. I‘ll turn informer, and see you carried into town to have your head cut off—you and all your family. . . . Kill, kill!"
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1. The Liberty Party was called Zi You Dang. The villagers, not understanding the word Liberty, turned Zi You into Shi You, which means persimmon oil.
2. The highest literary degree in the Ching dynasty (1644-1911).
3. An immortal in Chinese folk legend, always portrayed with flowing hair.
4. One of the earliest legendary monarchs in China.
Lu Xun
The True Story of Ah-Q
Chapter 9: The Grand Finale
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After the Chao family was robbed most of the people in Weichuang felt pleased yet fearful, and Ah Q was no exception. But four days later Ah Q was suddenly dragged into town in the middle of the night. It happened to be a dark night. A squad of soldiers, a squad of militia, a squad of police and five secret servicemen made their way quietly to Weichuang, and, after posting a machine-gun opposite the entrance, under cover of darkness they surrounded the Tutelary God‘s Temple. Ah Q did not rush out. For a long time nothing stirred in the temple. The captain grew impatient and offered a reward of twenty thousand cash. Only then did two militiamen summon up courage to jump over the wall and enter. With their co-operation from within, the others rushed in and dragged Ah Q out. But not until he had been carried out of the temple to somewhere near the machine-gun did he begin to sober up.
It was already midday by the time they reached town, and Ah Q found himself carried to a dilapidated yamen where, after taking five or six turnings, he was pushed into a small room. No sooner had he stumbled inside than the door, made of wooden bars to form a grating, closed upon his heels. The rest of the room consisted of three blank walls, and when he looked round carefully he saw two other men in a corner of the room.
Although Ah Q was feeling rather uneasy, he was by no means too depressed, because the room where he slept in the Tutelary God‘s Temple was in no way superior to this. The two other men also seemed to be villagers. They gradually fell into conversation with him, and one of them told him that the successful provincial candidate wanted to dun him for the rent owed by his grandfather; the other did not know why he was there. When they questioned Ah Q, he answered quite frankly, "Because I wanted to revolt."
That afternoon he was dragged out through the barred door and taken to a big hall, at the far end of which sat an old man with a cleanly shaven head. Ah Q took him for a monk at first, but when he saw soldiers standing guard and a dozen men in long coats on both sides, some with their heads cleanshaven like this old man and some with a foot or so of hair hanging over their shoulders like the Imitation Foreign Devil, all glaring furiously at him with grim faces, he knew this man must be someone important. At once the joints of his knees relaxed of their own accord, and he sank down.
"Stand up to speak! Don‘t kneel!" shouted all the men in the long coats.
Although Ah Q understood, he felt incapable of standing up: his body had involuntarily dropped to a squatting position, and improving on it he finally knelt down.
"Slave!" exclaimed the long-coated men contemptuously. They did not insist on his getting up, however.
"Tell the truth and you will receive a lighter sentence," said the old man with the shaven head, in a low but clear voice, fixing his eyes on Ah Q. "I know everything already. When you have confessed, I will let you go."
"Confess!" repeated the long-coated men loudly.
"The fact is I wanted ... to come . . ." muttered Ah Q disjointedly, after a moment‘s confused thinking.
"In that case, why didn‘t you come?" asked the old man gently.
"The Imitation Foreign Devil wouldn‘t let me!"
"Nonsense! It is too late to talk now. Where are your accomplices?"
"What? . . ."
"The people who robbed the Chao family that night."
"They didn‘t come to call me. They moved the things away themselves." Mention of this made Ah Q indignant.
"Where did they go? When you have told me I will let you go," repeated the old man even more gently.
"I don‘t know . . . they didn‘t come to call me. . . ."
Then, at a sign from the old man, Ah Q was dragged back through the barred door. The following morning he was dragged out once more.
Everything was unchanged in the big hall. The old man with the clean-shaven head was still sitting there, and Ah Q knelt down again as before.
"Have you anything else to say?" asked the old man gently.
Ah Q thought, and decided there was nothing to say, so he answered, "Nothing."
Then a man in a long coat brought a sheet of paper and held a brush in front of Ah Q, which he wanted to thrust into his hand. Ah Q was now nearly frightened out of his wits, because this was the first time in his life that his hand had ever come into contact with a writing brush. He was just wondering how to hold it when the man pointed out a place on the paper, and told him to sign his name.
"I—I—can‘t write," said Ah Q, shamefaced, nervously holding the brush.
"In that case, to make it easy for you, draw a circle!"
Ah Q tried to draw a circle, but the hand with which he grasped the brush trembled, so the man spread the paper on the ground for him. Ah Q bent down and, as painstakingly as if his life depended on it, drew a circle. Afraid people would laugh at him, he determined to make the circle round; however, not only was that wretched brush very heavy, but it would not do his bidding. Instead it wobbled from side to side; and just as the line was about to close it swerved out again, making a shape like a melon seed.
While Ah Q was ashamed because he had nor been able to draw a round circle, the man had already taken back the paper and brush without any comment. A number of people then dragged him back for the third time through the barred door.
This time he did not feel particularly irritated. He supposed that in this world it was the fate of everybody at some time to be dragged in and out of prison, and to have to draw circles on paper; it was only because his circle had not been round that he felt there was a stain on his reputation. Presently, however, he regained composure by thinking, "Only idiots can make perfect circles." And with this thought he fell asleep.
That night, however, the successful provincial candidate was unable to go to sleep, because he had quarrelled with the captain. The successful provincial candidate had insisted that the most important thing was to recover the stolen goods, while the captain said the most important thing was to make a public example. Recently the captain had come to treat the successful provincial candidate quite disdainfully. So, banging his fist on the table, he said, "Punish one to awe one hundred! See now, I have been a member of the revolutionary party for less than twenty days, but there have been a dozen cases of robbery, none of them solved yet; and think how badly that reflects on me. Now this one has been solved, you come and argue like a pedant. It won‘t do! This is my affair."
The successful provincial candidate was very upset, but he still persisted, saying that if the stolen goods were nor recovered, he would resign immediately from his post as assistant civil administrator. "As you please!" said the captain.
In consequence the successful provincial candidate did not sleep that night, but happily he did not hand in his resignation the next day after all.
The third time that Ah Q was dragged out of the barred door, was the morning following the night on which the successful provincial candidate had been unable to sleep. When he reached the big ball, the old man with the clean-shaven head was still sitting there as usual, and Ah Q also knelt down as usual.
Very gently the old man questioned him: "Have you anything more to say?"
Ah Q thought, and decided there was nothing to say, so he answered, "Nothing."
A number of men in long coats and short jackets put a white vest of foreign cloth on him. It had some black characters on it. Ah Q felt considerably disconcerted, because this was very like mourning dress, and to wear mourning was unlucky. At the same time his hands were bound behind his back, and he was dragged out of the yamen.
Ah Q was lifted on to an uncovered cart, and several men in short jackets sat down with him. The cart started off at once. In front were a number of soldiers and militiamen shouldering foreign rifles, and on both sides were crowds of gaping spectators, while what was behind Ah Q could not see. Suddenly it occurred to him—"Can I be going to have my head cut off?" Panic seized him and everything turned dark before his eyes, while there was a humming in his ears as if he had fainted. But he did not really faint. Although he felt frightened some of the time, the rest of the time he was quite calm. It seemed to him that in this world probably it was the fate of everybody at some time to have his head cut off.
He still recognized the road and felt rather surprised: why were they not going to the execution ground? He did not know that he was being paraded round the streets as a public example. But if he had known, it would have been the same; he would only have thought that in this world probably it was the fate of everybody at some time to be made a public example of.
Then he realized that they were making a detour to the execution ground, so, after all, he must be going to have his head cut off. He looked round him regretfully at the people swarming after him like ants, and unexpectedly in the crowd of people by the road he caught sight of Amah Wu. So that was why he had not seen her for so long: she was working in town.
Ah Q suddenly became ashamed of his lack of spirit, because he had not sung any lines from an opera. His thoughts revolved like a whirlwind: The Young Widow at Her Husband‘s Grave was not heroic enough. The words of "I regret to have killed" in The Battle of Dragon and Tiger were too poor. I‘ll thrash you with a steel mace was still the best. But when he wanted to raise his hands, he remembered that they were bound together; so he did not sing I‘ll thrash you either.
"In twenty years I shall be another . . . ."1 In his agitation Ah Q uttered half a saying which he had picked up himself but never used before. The crowd‘s roar "Good!!!" sounded like the growl of a wolf.
The cart moved steadily forward. During the shouting Ah Q‘s eyes turned in search of Amah Wu, but she did not seem to have seen him for she was looking intently at the foreign rifles carried by the soldiers.
So Ah Q took another look at the shouting crowd.
At that instant his thoughts revolved again like a whirlwind. Four years before, at the foot of the mountain, he had met a hungry wolf which had followed him at a set distance, wanting to eat him. He had nearly died of fright, but luckily he happened to have an axe in his hand, which gave him the courage to get back to Weichuang. He had never forgotten that wolf‘s eyes, fierce yet cowardly, gleaming like two will-o‘-the-wisps, as if boring into him from a distance. Now he saw eyes more terrible even than the wolf‘s: dull yet penetrating eyes that, having devoured his words, still seemed eager to devour something beyond his flesh and blood. And these eyes kept following him at a set distance.
These eyes seemed to have merged into one, biting into his soul.
"Help, help!"
But Ah Q never uttered these words. All had turned black before his eyes, there was a buzzing in his ears, and he felt as if his whole body were being scattered like so much light dust.
As for the after-effects of the robbery, the most affected was the successful provincial candidate, because the stolen goods were never recovered. All his family lamented bitterly. Next came the Chao household; for when the successful county candidate went into town to report the robbery, nor only did he have his pigtail cut off by bad revolutionaries, but he had to pay a reward of twenty thousand cash into the bargain; so all the Chao family lamented bitterly too. From that day forward they gradually assumed the air of the survivors of a fallen dynasty.
As for any discussion of the event, no question was raised in Weichuang. Naturally all agreed that Ah Q had been a bad man, the proof being that he had been shot; for if he had not been bad, how could he have been shot? But the consensus of opinion in town was unfavourable. Most people were dissatisfied, because a shooting was nor such a fine spectacle as a decapitation; and what a ridiculous culprit he had been too, to pass through so many streets without singing a single line from an opera They had followed him for nothing.
December 1921
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1. "In twenty years I shall be another stout young fellow" was a phrase often used by criminals before execution, to show their scorn of death.
阿Ｑ正传⑴
第一章　序
我要给阿Ｑ做正传，已经不止一两年了。但一面要做，一面又往回想，这足见我不是一个“立言”⑵的人，因为从来不朽之笔，须传不朽之人，于是人以文传，文以人传——究竟谁靠谁传，渐渐的不甚了然起来，而终于归接到传阿Ｑ，仿佛思想里有鬼似的。
然而要做这一篇速朽的文章，才下笔，便感到万分的困难了。第一是文章的名目。孔子曰，“名不正则言不顺”⑶。这原是应该极注意的。传的名目很繁多：列传，自传，内传⑷，外传，别传，家传，小传……，而可惜都不合。“列传”么，这一篇并非和许多阔人排在“正史”⑸里；“自传”么，我又并非就是阿Ｑ。说是“外传”，“内传”在那里呢？倘用“内传”，阿Ｑ又决不是神仙。“别传”呢，阿Ｑ实在未曾有大总统上谕宣付国史馆立“本传”⑹——虽说英国正史上并无“博徒列传”，而文豪迭更司⑺也做过《博徒别传》这一部书，但文豪则可，在我辈却不可。其次是“家传”，则我既不知与阿Ｑ是否同宗，也未曾受他子孙的拜托；或“小传”，则阿Ｑ又更无别的“大传”了。总而言之，这一篇也便是“本传”，但从我的文章着想，因为文体卑下，是“引车卖浆者流”所用的话⑻，所以不敢僭称，便从不入三教九流的小说家⑼所谓“闲话休题言归正传”这一句套话里，取出“正传”两个字来，作为名目，即使与古人所撰《书法正传》⑽的“正传”字面上很相混，也顾不得了。
第二，立传的通例，开首大抵该是“某，字某，某地人也”，而我并不知道阿Ｑ姓什么。有一回，他似乎是姓赵，但第二日便模糊了。那是赵太爷的儿子进了秀才的时候，锣声镗镗的报到村里来，阿Ｑ正喝了两碗黄酒，便手舞足蹈的说，这于他也很光采，因为他和赵太爷原来是本家，细细的排起来他还比秀才长三辈呢。其时几个旁听人倒也肃然的有些起敬了。那知道第二天，地保便叫阿Ｑ到赵太爷家里去；太爷一见，满脸溅朱，喝道：
“阿Ｑ，你这浑小子！你说我是你的本家么？”
阿Ｑ不开口。
赵太爷愈看愈生气了，抢进几步说：“你敢胡说！我怎么会有你这样的本家？你姓赵么？”
阿Ｑ不开口，想往后退了；赵太爷跳过去，给了他一个嘴巴。
“你怎么会姓赵！——你那里配姓赵！”
阿Ｑ并没有抗辩他确凿姓赵，只用手摸着左颊，和地保退出去了；外面又被地保训斥了一番，谢了地保二百文酒钱。知道的人都说阿Ｑ太荒唐，自己去招打；他大约未必姓赵，即使真姓赵，有赵太爷在这里，也不该如此胡说的。此后便再没有人提起他的氏族来，所以我终于不知道阿Ｑ究竟什么姓。
第三，我又不知道阿Ｑ的名字是怎么写的。他活着的时候，人都叫他阿Ｑｕｅｉ，死了以后，便没有一个人再叫阿Ｑｕｅｉ了，那里还会有“著之竹帛”⑾的事。若论“著之竹帛”，这篇文章要算第一次，所以先遇着了这第一个难关。我曾仔细想：阿Ｑｕｅｉ，阿桂还是阿贵呢？倘使他号月亭，或者在八月间做过生日，那一定是阿桂了；而他既没有号——也许有号，只是没有人知道他，——又未尝散过生日征文的帖子：写作阿桂，是武断的。又倘使他有一位老兄或令弟叫阿富，那一定是阿贵了；而他又只是一个人：写作阿贵，也没有佐证的。其余音Ｑｕｅｉ的偏僻字样，更加凑不上了。先前，我也曾问过赵太爷的儿子茂才⑿先生，谁料博雅如此公，竟也茫然，但据结论说，是因为陈独秀办了《新青年》提倡洋字⒀，所以国粹沦亡，无可查考了。我的最后的手段，只有托一个同乡去查阿Ｑ犯事的案卷，八个月之后才有回信，说案卷里并无与阿Ｑｕｅｉ的声音相近的人。我虽不知道是真没有，还是没有查，然而也再没有别的方法了。生怕注音字母还未通行，只好用了“洋字”，照英国流行的拼法写他为阿Ｑｕｅｉ，略作阿Ｑ。这近于盲从《新青年》，自己也很抱歉，但茂才公尚且不知，我还有什么好办法呢。
第四，是阿Ｑ的籍贯了。倘他姓赵，则据现在好称郡望的老例，可以照《郡名百家姓》⒁上的注解，说是“陇西天水人也”，但可惜这姓是不甚可靠的，因此籍贯也就有些决不定。他虽然多住未庄，然而也常常宿在别处，不能说是未庄人，即使说是“未庄人也”，也仍然有乖史法的。
我所聊以自慰的，是还有一个“阿”字非常正确，绝无附会假借的缺点，颇可以就正于通人。至于其余，却都非浅学所能穿凿，只希望有“历史癖与考据癖”的胡适之⒂先生的门人们，将来或者能够寻出许多新端绪来，但是我这《阿Ｑ正传》到那时却又怕早经消灭了。
以上可以算是序。
第二章　优胜记略
阿Ｑ不独是姓名籍贯有些渺茫，连他先前的“行状”⒃也渺茫。因为未庄的人们之于阿Ｑ，只要他帮忙，只拿他玩笑，从来没有留心他的“行状”的。而阿Ｑ自己也不说，独有和别人口角的时候，间或瞪着眼睛道：
“我们先前——比你阔的多啦！你算是什么东西！”
阿Ｑ没有家，住在未庄的土谷祠⒄里；也没有固定的职业，只给人家做短工，割麦便割麦，舂米便舂米，撑船便撑船。工作略长久时，他也或住在临时主人的家里，但一完就走了。所以，人们忙碌的时候，也还记起阿Ｑ来，然而记起的是做工，并不是“行状”；一闲空，连阿Ｑ都早忘却，更不必说“行状”了。只是有一回，有一个老头子颂扬说：“阿Ｑ真能做！”这时阿Ｑ赤着膊，懒洋洋的瘦伶仃的正在他面前，别人也摸不着这话是真心还是讥笑，然而阿Ｑ很喜欢。
阿Ｑ又很自尊，所有未庄的居民，全不在他眼神里，甚而至于对于两位“文童”⒅也有以为不值一笑的神情。夫文童者，将来恐怕要变秀才者也；赵太爷钱太爷大受居民的尊敬，除有钱之外，就因为都是文童的爹爹，而阿Ｑ在精神上独不表格外的崇奉，他想：我的儿子会阔得多啦！加以进了几回城，阿Ｑ自然更自负，然而他又很鄙薄城里人，譬如用三尺三寸宽的木板做成的凳子，未庄人叫“长凳”，他也叫“长凳”，城里人却叫“条凳”，他想：这是错的，可笑！油煎大头鱼，未庄都加上半寸长的葱叶，城里却加上切细的葱丝，他想：这也是错的，可笑！然而未庄人真是不见世面的可笑的乡下人呵，他们没有见过城里的煎鱼！
阿Ｑ“先前阔”，见识高，而且“真能做”，本来几乎是一个“完人”了，但可惜他体质上还有一些缺点。最恼人的是在他头皮上，颇有几处不知于何时的癞疮疤。这虽然也在他身上，而看阿Ｑ的意思，倒也似乎以为不足贵的，因为他讳说“癞”以及一切近于“赖”的音，后来推而广之，“光”也讳，“亮”也讳，再后来，连“灯”“烛”都讳了。一犯讳，不问有心与无心，阿Ｑ便全疤通红的发起怒来，估量了对手，口讷的他便骂，气力小的他便打；然而不知怎么一回事，总还是阿Ｑ吃亏的时候多。于是他渐渐的变换了方针，大抵改为怒目而视了。
谁知道阿Ｑ采用怒目主义之后，未庄的闲人们便愈喜欢玩笑他。一见面，他们便假作吃惊的说：
哙，亮起来了。”
阿Ｑ照例的发了怒，他怒目而视了。
“原来有保险灯在这里！”他们并不怕。
阿Ｑ没有法，只得另外想出报复的话来：
“你还不配……”这时候，又仿佛在他头上的是一种高尚的光容的癞头疮，并非平常的癞头疮了；但上文说过，阿Ｑ是有见识的，他立刻知道和“犯忌”有点抵触，便不再往底下说。
闲人还不完，只撩他，于是终而至于打。阿Ｑ在形式上打败了，被人揪住黄辫子，在壁上碰了四五个响头，闲人这才心满意足的得胜的走了，阿Ｑ站了一刻，心里想，“我总算被儿子打了，现在的世界真不像样……”于是也心满意足的得胜的走了。
阿Ｑ想在心里的，后来每每说出口来，所以凡是和阿Ｑ玩笑的人们，几乎全知道他有这一种精神上的胜利法，此后每逢揪住他黄辫子的时候，人就先一着对他说：
“阿Ｑ，这不是儿子打老子，是人打畜生。自己说：人打畜生！”
阿Ｑ两只手都捏住了自己的辫根，歪着头，说道：
“打虫豸，好不好？我是虫豸——还不放么？”
但虽然是虫豸，闲人也并不放，仍旧在就近什么地方给他碰了五六个响头，这才心满意足的得胜的走了，他以为阿Ｑ这回可遭了瘟。然而不到十秒钟，阿Ｑ也心满意足的得胜的走了，他觉得他是第一个能够自轻自贱的人，除了“自轻自贱”不算外，余下的就是“第一个”。状元⒆不也是“第一个”么？“你算是什么东西”呢！？
阿Ｑ以如是等等妙法克服怨敌之后，便愉快的跑到酒店里喝几碗酒，又和别人调笑一通，口角一通，又得了胜，愉快的回到土谷祠，放倒头睡着了。假使有钱，他便去押牌宝⒇，一推人蹲在地面上，阿Ｑ即汗流满面的夹在这中间，声音他最响：
“青龙四百！”
“咳～～开～～啦！”桩家揭开盒子盖，也是汗流满面的唱。“天门啦～～角回啦～～！人和穿堂空在那里啦～～！阿Ｑ的铜钱拿过来～～！”
“穿堂一百——一百五十！”
阿Ｑ的钱便在这样的歌吟之下，渐渐的输入别个汗流满面的人物的腰间。他终于只好挤出堆外，站在后面看，替别人着急，一直到散场，然后恋恋的回到土谷祠，第二天，肿着眼睛去工作。
但真所谓“塞翁失马安知非福”①罢，阿Ｑ不幸而赢了一回，他倒几乎失败了。
这是未庄赛神②的晚上。这晚上照例有一台戏，戏台左近，也照例有许多的赌摊。做戏的锣鼓，在阿Ｑ耳朵里仿佛在十里之外；他只听得桩家的歌唱了。他赢而又赢，铜钱变成角洋，角洋变成大洋，大洋又成了叠。他兴高采烈得非常：
“天门两块！”
他不知道谁和谁为什么打起架来了。骂声打声脚步声，昏头昏脑的一大阵，他才爬起来，赌摊不见了，人们也不见了，身上有几处很似乎有些痛，似乎也挨了几拳几脚似的，几个人诧异的对他看。他如有所失的走进土谷祠，定一定神，知道他的一堆洋钱不见了。赶赛会的赌摊多不是本村人，还到那里去寻根柢呢？
很白很亮的一堆洋钱！而且是他的——现在不见了！说是算被儿子拿去了罢，总还是忽忽不乐；说自己是虫豸罢，也还是忽忽不乐：他这回才有些感到失败的苦痛了。
但他立刻转败为胜了。他擎起右手，用力的在自己脸上连打了两个嘴巴，热剌剌的有些痛；打完之后，便心平气和起来，似乎打的是自己，被打的是别一个自己，不久也就仿佛是自己打了别个一般，——虽然还有些热剌剌，——心满意足的得胜的躺下了。
他睡着了。
第三章　续优胜记略
然而阿Ｑ虽然常优胜，却直待蒙赵太爷打他嘴巴之后，这才出了名。
他付过地保二百文酒钱，愤愤的躺下了，后来想：“现在的世界太不成话，儿子打老子……”于是忽而想到赵太爷的威风，而现在是他的儿子了，便自己也渐渐的得意起来，爬起身，唱着《小孤孀上坟》③到酒店去。这时候，他又觉得赵太爷高人一等了。
说也奇怪，从此之后，果然大家也仿佛格外尊敬他。这在阿Ｑ，或者以为因为他是赵太爷的父亲，而其实也不然。未庄通例，倘如阿七打阿八，或者李四打张三，向来本不算口碑。一上口碑，则打的既有名，被打的也就托庇有了名。至于错在阿Ｑ，那自然是不必说。所以者何？就因为赵太爷是不会错的。但他既然错，为什么大家又仿佛格外尊敬他呢？这可难解，穿凿起来说，或者因为阿Ｑ说是赵太爷的本家，虽然挨了打，大家也还怕有些真，总不如尊敬一些稳当。否则，也如孔庙里的太牢④一般，虽然与猪羊一样，同是畜生，但既经圣人下箸，先儒们便不敢妄动了。
阿Ｑ此后倒得意了许多年。
有一年的春天，他醉醺醺的在街上走，在墙根的日光下，看见王胡在那里赤着膊捉虱子，他忽然觉得身上也痒起来了。这王胡，又癞又胡，别人都叫他王癞胡，阿Ｑ却删去了一个癞字，然而非常渺视他。阿Ｑ的意思，以为癞是不足为奇的，只有这一部络腮胡子，实在太新奇，令人看不上眼。他于是并排坐下去了。倘是别的闲人们，阿Ｑ本不敢大意坐下去。但这王胡旁边，他有什么怕呢？老实说：他肯坐下去，简直还是抬举他。
阿Ｑ也脱下破夹袄来，翻检了一回，不知道因为新洗呢还是因为粗心，许多工夫，只捉到三四个。他看那王胡，却是一个又一个，两个又三个，只放在嘴里毕毕剥剥的响。
阿Ｑ最初是失望，后来却不平了：看不上眼的王胡尚且那么多，自己倒反这样少，这是怎样的大失体统的事呵！他很想寻一两个大的，然而竟没有，好容易才捉到一个中的，恨恨的塞在厚嘴唇里，狠命一咬，劈的一声，又不及王胡的响。
他癞疮疤块块通红了，将衣服摔在地上，吐一口唾沫，说：
“这毛虫！”
“癞皮狗，你骂谁？”王胡轻蔑的抬起眼来说。
阿Ｑ近来虽然比较的受人尊敬，自己也更高傲些，但和那些打惯的闲人们见面还胆怯，独有这回却非常武勇了。这样满脸胡子的东西，也敢出言无状么？
“谁认便骂谁！”他站起来，两手叉在腰间说。
“你的骨头痒了么？”王胡也站起来，披上衣服说。
阿Ｑ以为他要逃了，抢进去就是一拳。这拳头还未达到身上，已经被他抓住了，只一拉，阿Ｑ跄跄踉踉的跌进去，立刻又被王胡扭住了辫子，要拉到墙上照例去碰头。
“‘君子动口不动手’！”阿Ｑ歪着头说。
王胡似乎不是君子，并不理会，一连给他碰了五下，又用力的一推，至于阿Ｑ跌出六尺多远，这才满足的去了。
在阿Ｑ的记忆上，这大约要算是生平第一件的屈辱，因为王胡以络腮胡子的缺点，向来只被他奚落，从没有奚落他，更不必说动手了。而他现在竟动手，很意外，难道真如市上所说，皇帝已经停了考⑤，不要秀才和举人了，因此赵家减了威风，因此他们也便小觑了他么？
阿Ｑ无可适从的站着。
远远的走来了一个人，他的对头又到了。这也是阿Ｑ最厌恶的一个人，就是钱太爷的大儿子。他先前跑上城里去进洋学堂，不知怎么又跑到东洋去了，半年之后他回到家里来，腿也直了，辫子也不见了，他的母亲大哭了十几场，他的老婆跳了三回井。后来，他的母亲到处说，“这辫子是被坏人灌醉了酒剪去了。本来可以做大官，现在只好等留长再说了。”然而阿Ｑ不肯信，偏称他“假洋鬼子”，也叫作“里通外国的人”，一见他，一定在肚子里暗暗的咒骂。
阿Ｑ尤其“深恶而痛绝之”的，是他的一条假辫子。辫子而至*诩伲褪敲挥*了做人的资格；他的老婆不跳第四回井，也不是好女人。
这“假洋鬼子”近来了。
秃儿。驴……”阿Ｑ历来本只在肚子里骂，没有出过声，这回因为正气忿，因为要报仇，便不由的轻轻的说出来了。
不料这秃儿却拿着一支黄漆的棍子——就是阿Ｑ所谓哭丧棒⑥——大蹋步走了过来。阿Ｑ在这刹那，便知道大约要打了，赶紧抽紧筋骨，耸了肩膀等候着，果然，拍的一声，似乎确凿打在自己头上了。
“我说他！”阿Ｑ指着近旁的一个孩子，分辩说。
拍！拍拍！
在阿Ｑ的记忆上，这大约要算是生平第二件的屈辱。幸而拍拍的响了之后，于他倒似乎完结了一件事，反而觉得轻松些，而且“忘却”这一件祖传的宝贝也发生了效力，他慢慢的走，将到酒店门口，早已有些高兴了。
但对面走来了静修庵里的小尼姑。阿Ｑ便在平时，看见伊也一定要唾骂，而况在屈辱之后呢？他于是发生了回忆，又发生了敌忾了。
“我不知道我今天为什么这样晦气，原来就因为见了你！”他想。
他迎上去，大声的吐一口唾沫：
“咳，呸！”
小尼姑全不睬，低了头只是走。阿Ｑ走近伊身旁，突然伸出手去摩着伊新剃的头皮，呆笑着，说：
“秃儿！快回去，和尚等着你……”
“你怎么动手动脚……”尼姑满脸通红的说，一面赶快走。
酒店里的人大笑了。阿Ｑ看见自己的勋业得了赏识，便愈加兴高采烈起来：
“和尚动得，我动不得？”他扭住伊的面颊。
酒店里的人大笑了。阿Ｑ更得意，而且为了满足那些赏鉴家起见，再用力的一拧，才放手。
他这一战，早忘却了王胡，也忘却了假洋鬼子，似乎对于今天的一切“晦气”都报了仇；而且奇怪，又仿佛全身比拍拍的响了之后轻松，飘飘然的似乎要飞去了。
“这断子绝孙的阿Ｑ！”远远地听得小尼姑的带哭的声音。
“哈哈哈！”阿Ｑ十分得意的笑。
“哈哈哈！”酒店里的人也九分得意的笑。
第四章　恋爱的悲剧
有人说：有些胜利者，愿意敌手如虎，如鹰，他才感得胜利的欢喜；假使如羊，如小鸡，他便反觉得胜利的无聊。又有些胜利者，当克服一切之后，看见死的死了，降的降了，“臣诚惶诚恐死罪死罪”，他于是没有了敌人，没有了对手，没有了朋友，只有自己在上，一个，孤另另，凄凉，寂寞，便反而感到了胜利的悲哀。然而我们的阿Ｑ却没有这样乏，他是永远得意的：这或者也是中国精神文明冠于全球的一个证据了。
看哪，他飘飘然的似乎要飞去了！
然而这一次的胜利，却又使他有些异样。他飘飘然的飞了大半天，飘进土谷祠，照例应该躺下便打鼾。谁知道这一晚，他很不容易合眼，他觉得自己的大拇指和第二指有点古怪：仿佛比平常滑腻些。不知道是小尼姑的脸上有一点滑腻的东西粘在他指上，还是他的指头在小尼姑脸上磨得滑腻了？……
“断子绝孙的阿Ｑ！”
阿Ｑ的耳朵里又听到这句话。他想：不错，应该有一个女人，断子绝孙便没有人供一碗饭，……应该有一个女人。夫“不孝有三无后为大”⑦，而“若敖之鬼馁而”⑧，也是一件人生的大哀，所以他那思想，其实是样样合于圣经贤传的，只可惜后来有些“不能收其放心”⑨了。
“女人，女人！……”他想。
“……和尚动得……女人，女人！……女人！”他又想。
我们不能知道这晚上阿Ｑ在什么时候才打鼾。但大约他从此总觉得指头有些滑腻，所以他从此总有些飘飘然；“女……”他想。
即此一端，我们便可以知道女人是害人的东西。
中国的男人，本来大半都可以做圣贤，可惜全被女人毁掉了。商是妲己⑩闹亡的；周是褒姒弄坏的；秦……虽然史无明文，我们也假定他因为女人，大约未必十分错；而董卓可是的确给貂蝉害死了。
阿Ｑ本来也是正人，我们虽然不知道他曾蒙什么明师指授过，但他对于“男女之大防”㈠却历来非常严；也很有排斥异端——如小尼姑及假洋鬼子之类——的正气。他的学说是：凡尼姑，一定与和尚私通；一个女人在外面走，一定想引诱野男人；一男一女在那里讲话，一定要有勾当了。为惩治他们起见，所以他往往怒目而视，或者大声说几句“诛心”㈡话，或者在冷僻处，便从后面掷一块小石头。
谁知道他将到“而立”㈢之年，竟被小尼姑害得飘飘然了。这飘飘然的精神，在礼教上是不应该有的，——所以女人真可恶，假使小尼姑的脸上不滑腻，阿Ｑ便不至于被蛊，又假使小尼姑的脸上盖一层布，阿Ｑ便也不至于被蛊了，——他五六年前，曾在戏台下的人丛中拧过一个女人的大腿，但因为隔一层裤，所以此后并不飘飘然，——而小尼姑并不然，这也足见异端之可恶。
“女……”阿Ｑ想。
他对于以为“一定想引诱野男人”的女人，时常留心看，然而伊并不对他笑。他对于和他讲话的女人，也时常留心听，然而伊又并不提起关于什么勾当的话来。哦，这也是女人可恶之一节：伊们全都要装“假正经”的。
这一天，阿Ｑ在赵太爷家里舂了一天米，吃过晚饭，便坐在厨房里吸旱烟。倘在别家，吃过晚饭本可以回去的了，但赵府上晚饭早，虽说定例不准掌灯，一吃完便睡觉，然而偶然也有一些例外：其一，是赵大爷未进秀才的时候，准其点灯读文章；其二，便是阿Ｑ来做短工的时候，准其点灯舂米。因为这一条例外，所以阿Ｑ在动手舂米之前，还坐在厨房里吸烟旱。
吴妈，是赵太爷家里唯一的女仆，洗完了碗碟，也就在长凳上坐下了，而且和阿Ｑ谈闲天：
“太太两天没有吃饭哩，因为老爷要买一个小的……”
“女人……吴妈……这小孤孀……”阿Ｑ想。
“我们的少奶奶是八月里要生孩子了……”
女人……”阿Ｑ想。
阿Ｑ放下烟管，站了起来。
“我们的少奶奶……”吴妈还唠叨说。
“我和你困觉，我和你困觉！”阿Ｑ忽然抢上去，对伊跪下了。
一刹时中很寂然。
“阿呀！”吴妈楞了一息，突然发抖，大叫着往外跑，且跑且嚷，似乎后来带哭了。
阿Ｑ对了墙壁跪着也发楞，于是两手扶着空板凳，慢慢的站起来，仿佛觉得有些糟。他这时确也有些忐忑了，慌张的将烟管插在裤带上，就想去舂米。蓬的一声，头上着了很粗的一下，他急忙回转身去，那秀才便拿了一支大竹杠站在他面前。
“你反了，……你这……”
大竹杠又向他劈下来了。阿Ｑ两手去抱头，拍的正打在指节上，这可很有些痛。他冲出厨房门，仿佛背上又着了一下似的。
“忘八蛋！”秀才在后面用了官话这样骂。
阿Ｑ奔入舂米场，一个人站着，还觉得指头痛，还记得“忘八蛋”，因为这话是未庄的乡下人从来不用，专是见过官府的阔人用的，所以格外怕，而印象也格外深。但这时，他那“女……”的思想却也没有了。而且打骂之后，似乎一件事也已经收束，倒反觉得一无挂碍似的，便动手去舂米。舂了一会，他热起来了，又歇了手脱衣服。
脱下衣服的时候，他听得外面很热闹，阿Ｑ生平本来最爱看热闹，便即寻声走出去了。寻声渐渐的寻到赵太爷的内院里，虽然在昏黄中，却辨得出许多人，赵府一家连两日不吃饭的太太也在内，还有间壁的邹七嫂，真正本家的赵白眼，赵司晨。
少奶奶正拖着吴妈走出下房来，一面说：
“你到外面来，……不要躲在自己房里想……”
“谁不知道你正经，……短见是万万寻不得的。”邹七嫂也从旁说。
吴妈只是哭，夹些话，却不甚听得分明。
阿Ｑ想：“哼，有趣，这小孤孀不知道闹着什么玩意儿了？”他想打听，走近赵司晨的身边。这时他猛然间看见赵大爷向他奔来，而且手里捏着一支大竹杠。他看见这一支大竹杠，便猛然间悟到自己曾经被打，和这一场热闹似乎有点相关。他翻身便走，想逃回舂米场，不图这支竹杠阻了他的去路，于是他又翻身便走，自然而然的走出后门，不多工夫，已在土谷祠内了。
阿Ｑ坐了一会，皮肤有些起粟，他觉得冷了，因为虽在春季，而夜间颇有余寒，尚不宜于赤膊。他也记得布衫留在赵家，但倘若去取，又深怕秀才的竹杠。然而地保进来了。
“阿Ｑ，你的妈妈的！你连赵家的用人都调戏起来，简直是造反。害得我晚上没有觉睡，你的妈妈的！……”
如是云云的教训了一通，阿Ｑ自然没有话。临末，因为在晚上，应该送地保加倍酒钱四百文，Ｑ正没有现钱，便用一顶毡帽做抵押，并且订定了五条件：
一明天用红烛——要一斤重的——一对，香一封，到赵府上去赔罪。
二赵府上请道士祓除缢鬼，费用由阿Ｑ负担。
三阿Ｑ从此不准踏进赵府的门槛。
四吴妈此后倘有不测，惟阿Ｑ是问。
五阿Ｑ不准再去索取工钱和布衫。
阿Ｑ自然都答应了，可惜没有钱。幸而已经春天，棉被可以无用，便质了二千大钱，履行条约。赤膊磕头之后，居然还剩几文，他也不再赎毡帽，统统喝了酒了。但赵家也并不烧香点烛，因为太太拜佛的时候可以用，留着了。那破布衫是大半做了少奶奶八月间生下来的孩子的衬尿布，那小半破烂的便都做了吴妈的鞋底。
第五章　生计问题
阿Ｑ礼毕之后，仍旧回到土谷祠，太阳下去了，渐渐觉得世上有些古怪。他仔细一想，终于省悟过来：其原因盖在自己的赤膊。他记得破夹袄还在，便披在身上，躺倒了，待张开眼睛，原来太阳又已经照在西墙上头了。他坐起身，一面说道，“妈妈的……”
他起来之后，也仍旧在街上逛，虽然不比赤膊之有切肤之痛，却又渐渐的觉得世上有些古怪了。仿佛从这一天起，未庄的女人们忽然都怕了羞，伊们一见阿Ｑ走来，便个个躲进门里去。甚而至于将近五十岁的邹七嫂，也跟着别人乱钻，而且将十一的女儿都叫进去了。阿Ｑ很以为奇，而且想：“这些东西忽然都学起小姐模样来了。这娼妇们……”
但他更觉得世上有些古怪，却是许多日以后的事。其一，酒店不肯赊欠了；其二，管土谷祠的老头子说些废话，似乎叫他走；其三，他虽然记不清多少日，但确乎有许多日，没有一个人来叫他做短工。酒店不赊，熬着也罢了；老头子催他走，噜苏一通也就算了；只是没有人来叫他做短工，却使阿Ｑ肚子饿：这委实是一件非常“妈妈的”的事情。
阿Ｑ忍不下去了，他只好到老主顾的家里去探问，——但独不许踏进赵府的门槛，——然而情形也异样：一定走出一个男人来，现了十分烦厌的相貌，像回复乞丐一般的摇手道：
“没有没有！你出去！”
阿Ｑ愈觉得稀奇了。他想，这些人家向来少不了要帮忙，不至于现在忽然都无事，这总该有些蹊跷在里面了。他留心打听，才知道他们有事都去叫小Ｄｏｎ㈣。这小Ｄ，是一个穷小子，又瘦又乏，在阿Ｑ的眼睛里，位置是在王胡之下的，谁料这小子竟谋了他的饭碗去。所以阿Ｑ这一气，更与平常不同，当气愤愤的走着的时候，忽然将手一扬，唱道：
“我手执钢鞭将你打！㈤……”
几天之后，他竟在钱府的照壁前遇见了小Ｄ。“仇人相见分外眼明”，阿Ｑ便迎上去，小Ｄ也站住了。
“畜生！”阿Ｑ怒目而视的说，嘴角上飞出唾沫来。
“我是虫豸，好么？……”小Ｄ说。
这谦逊反使阿Ｑ更加愤怒起来，但他手里没有钢鞭，于是只得扑上去，伸手去拔小Ｄ的辫子。小Ｄ一手护住了自己的辫根，一手也来拔阿Ｑ的辫子，阿Ｑ便也将空着的一只手护住了自己的辫根。从先前的阿Ｑ看来，，小Ｄ本来是不足齿数的，但他近来挨了饿，又瘦又乏已经不下于小Ｄ，所以便成了势均力敌的现象，四只手拔着两颗头，都弯了腰，在钱家粉墙上映出一个蓝色的虹形，至于半点钟之久了。
“好了，好了！”看的人们说，大约是解劝的。
“好，好！”看的人们说，不知道是解劝，是颂扬，还是煽动。
然而他们都不听。阿Ｑ进三步，小Ｄ便退三步，都站着；小Ｄ进三步，阿Ｑ便退三步，又都站着。大约半点钟，——未庄少有自鸣钟，所以很难说，或者二十分，——他们的头发里便都冒烟，额上便都流汗，阿Ｑ的手放松了，在同一瞬间，小Ｄ的手也正放松了，同时直起，同时退开，都挤出人丛去。
“记着罢，妈妈的……”阿Ｑ回过头去说。
“妈妈的，记着罢……”小Ｄ也回过头来说。
这一场“龙虎斗”似乎并无胜败，也不知道看的人可满足，都没有发什么议论，而阿Ｑ却仍然没有人来叫他做短工。
有一日很温和，微风拂拂的颇有些夏意了，阿Ｑ却觉得寒冷起来，但这还可担当，第一倒是肚子饿。棉被，毡帽，布衫，早已没有了，其次就卖了棉袄；现在有裤子，却万不可脱的；有破夹袄，又除了送人做鞋底之外，决定卖不出钱。他早想在路上拾得一注钱，但至今还没有见；他想在自己的破屋里忽然寻到一注钱，慌张的四顾，但屋内是空虚而且了然。于是他决计出门求食去了。
他在路上走着要“求食”，看见熟识的酒店，看见熟识的馒头，但他都走过了，不但没有暂停，而且并不想要。他所求的不是这类东西了；他求的是什么东西，他自己不知道。
未庄本不是大村镇，不多时便走尽了。村外多是水田，满眼是新秧的嫩绿，夹着几个圆形的活动的黑点，便是耕田的农夫。阿Ｑ并不赏鉴这田家乐，却只是走，因为他直觉的知道这与他的“求食”之道是很辽远的。但他终于走到静修庵的墙外了。
庵周围也是水田，粉墙突出在新绿里，后面的低土墙里是菜园。阿Ｑ迟疑了一会，四面一看，并没有人。他便爬上这矮墙去，扯着何首乌藤，但泥土仍然簌簌的掉，阿Ｑ的脚也索索的抖；终于攀着桑树枝，跳到里面了。里面真是郁郁葱葱，但似乎并没有黄酒馒头，以及此外可吃的之类。靠西墙是竹丛，下面许多笋，只可惜都是并未煮熟的，还有油菜早经结子，芥菜已将开花，小白菜也很老了。
阿Ｑ仿佛文童落第似的觉得很冤屈，他慢慢走近园门去，忽而非常惊喜了，这分明是一畦老萝卜。他于是蹲下便拔，而门口突然伸出一个很圆的头来，又即缩回去了，这分明是小尼姑。小尼姑之流是阿Ｑ本来视若草芥的，但世事须“退一步想”，所以他便赶紧拔起四个萝卜，拧下青叶，兜在大襟里。然而老尼姑已经出来了。
“阿弥陀佛，阿Ｑ，你怎么跳进园里来偷萝卜！……阿呀，罪过呵，阿唷，阿弥陀佛！……”
“我什么时候跳进你的园里来偷萝卜？”阿Ｑ且看且走的说。
“现在……这不是？”老尼姑指着他的衣兜。
“这是你的？你能叫得他答应你么？你……”
阿Ｑ没有说完话，拔步便跑；追来的是一匹很肥大的黑狗。这本来在前门的，不知怎的到后园来了。黑狗哼而且追，已经要咬着阿Ｑ的腿，幸而从衣兜里落下一个萝卜来，那狗给一吓，略略一停，阿Ｑ已经爬上桑树，跨到土墙，连人和萝卜都滚出墙外面了。只剩着黑狗还在对着桑树嗥，老尼姑念着佛。
阿Ｑ怕尼姑又放出黑狗来，拾起萝卜便走，沿路又捡了几块小石头，但黑狗却并不再现。阿Ｑ于是抛了石块，一面走一面吃，而且想道，这里也没有什么东西寻，不如进城去……
待三个萝卜吃完时，他已经打定了进城的主意了。
第六章　从中兴到末路
在未庄再看见阿Ｑ出现的时候，是刚过了这年的中秋。人们都惊异，说是阿Ｑ回来了，于是又回上去想道，他先前那里去了呢？阿Ｑ前几回的上城，大抵早就兴高采烈的对人说，但这一次却并不，所以也没有一个人留心到。他或者也曾告诉过管土谷祠的老头子，然而未庄老例，只有赵太爷钱太爷和秀才大爷上城才算一件事。假洋鬼子尚且不足数，何况是阿Ｑ：因此老头子也就不替他宣传，而未庄的社会上也就无从知道了。
但阿Ｑ这回的回来，却与先前大不同，确乎很值得惊异。天色将黑，他睡眼蒙胧的在酒店门前出现了，他走近柜台，从腰间伸出手来，满把是银的和铜的，在柜上一扔说，“现钱！打酒来！”穿的是新夹袄，看去腰间还挂着一个大搭连，沉钿钿的将裤带坠成了很弯很弯的弧线。未庄老例，看见略有些醒目的人物，是与其慢也宁敬的，现在虽然明知道是阿Ｑ，但因为和破夹袄的阿Ｑ有些两样了，古人云，“士别三日便当刮目相待”㈥，所以堂倌，掌柜，酒客，路人，便自然显出一种凝而且敬的形态来。掌柜既先之以点头，又继之以谈话：
“豁，阿Ｑ，你回来了！”
“回来了。”
“发财发财，你是——在……”
“上城去了！”
这一件新闻，第二天便传遍了全未庄。人人都愿意知道现钱和新夹袄的阿Ｑ的中兴史，所以在酒店里，茶馆里，庙檐下，便渐渐的探听出来了。这结果，是阿Ｑ得了新敬畏。
据阿Ｑ说，他是在举人老爷家里帮忙。这一节，听的人都肃然了。这老爷本姓白，但因为合城里只有他一个举人，所以不必再冠姓，说起举人来就是他。这也不独在未庄是如此，便是一百里方圆之内也都如此，人们几乎多以为他的姓名就叫举人老爷的了。在这人的府上帮忙，那当然是可敬的。但据阿Ｑ又说，他却不高兴再帮忙了，因为这举人老爷实在太“妈妈的”了。这一节，听的人都叹息而且快意，因为阿Ｑ本不配在举人老爷家里帮忙，而不帮忙是可惜的。
据阿Ｑ说，他的回来，似乎也由于不满意城里人，这就在他们将长凳称为条凳，而且煎鱼用葱丝，加以最近观察所得的缺点，是女人的走路也扭得不很好。然而也偶有大可佩服的地方，即如未庄的乡下人不过打三十二张的竹牌㈦，只有假洋鬼子能够叉“麻酱”，城里却连小乌龟子都叉得精熟的。什么假洋鬼子，只要放在城里的十几岁的小乌龟子的手里，也就立刻是“小鬼见阎王”。这一节，听的人都赧然了。
“你们可看见过杀头么？”阿Ｑ说，“咳，好看。杀革命党。唉，好看好看，……”他摇摇头，将唾沫飞在正对面的赵司晨的脸上。这一节，听的人都凛然了。但阿Ｑ又四面一看，忽然扬起右手，照着伸长脖子听得出神的王胡的后项窝上直劈下去道：
“嚓！”
王胡惊得一跳，同时电光石火似的赶快缩了头，而听的人又都悚然而且欣然了。从此王胡瘟头瘟脑的许多日，并且再不敢走近阿Ｑ的身边；别的人也一样。
阿Ｑ这时在未庄人眼睛里的地位，虽不敢说超过赵太爷，但谓之差不多，大约也就没有什么语病的了。
然而不多久，这阿Ｑ的大名忽又传遍了未庄的闺中。虽然未庄只有钱赵两姓是大屋，此外十之九都是浅闺，但闺中究竟是闺中，所以也算得一件神异。女人们见面时一定说，邹七嫂在阿Ｑ那里买了一条蓝绸裙，旧固然是旧的，但只化了九角钱。还有赵白眼的母亲，——一说是赵司晨的母亲，待考，——也买了*患⒆哟┑*大红洋纱衫，七成新，只用三百大钱九二串㈧。于是伊们都眼巴巴的想见阿Ｑ，缺绸裙的想问他买绸裙，要洋纱衫的想问他买洋纱衫，不但见了不逃避，有时阿Ｑ已经走过了，也还要追上去叫住他，问道：
“阿Ｑ，你还有绸裙么？没有？纱衫也要的，有罢？”
后来这终于从浅闺传进深闺里去了。因为邹七嫂得意之余，将伊的绸裙请赵太太去鉴赏，赵太太又告诉了赵太爷而且着实恭维了一番。赵太爷便在晚饭桌上，和秀才大爷讨论，以为阿Ｑ实在有些古怪，我们门窗应该小心些；但他的东西，不知道可还有什么可买，也许有点好东西罢。加以赵太太也正想买一件价廉物美的皮背心。于是家族决议，便托邹七嫂即刻去寻阿Ｑ，而且为此新辟了第三种的例外：这晚上也姑且特准点油灯。
油灯干了不少了，阿Ｑ还不到。赵府的全眷都很焦急，打着呵欠，或恨阿Ｑ太飘忽，或怨邹七嫂不上紧。赵太太还怕他因为春天的条件不敢来，而赵太爷以为不足虑：因为这是“我”去叫他的。果然，到底赵太爷有见识，阿Ｑ终于跟着邹七嫂进来了。
“他只说没有没有，我说你自己当面说去，他还要说，我说……”邹七嫂气喘吁吁的走着说。
“太爷！”阿Ｑ似笑非笑的叫了一声，在檐下站住了。
“阿Ｑ，听说你在外面发财，”赵太爷踱开去，眼睛打量着他的全身，一面说。“那很好，那很好的。这个，……听说你有些旧东西，……可以都拿来看一看，……这也并不是别的，因为我倒要……”
“我对邹七嫂说过了。都完了。”
“完了？”赵太爷不觉失声的说，“那里会完得这样快呢？”
“那是朋友的，本来不多。他们买了些，……”
“总该还有一点罢。”
“现在，只剩了一张门幕了。”
“就拿门幕来看看罢。”赵太太慌忙说。
“那么，明天拿来就是，”赵太爷却不甚热心了。“阿Ｑ，你以后有什么东西的时候，你尽先送来给我们看，……”
“价钱决不会比别家出得少！”秀才说。秀才娘子忙一瞥阿Ｑ的脸，看他感动了没有。
“我要一件皮背心。”赵太太说。
阿Ｑ虽然答应着，却懒洋洋的出去了，也不知道他是否放在心上。这使赵太爷很失望，气愤而且担心，至于停止了打呵欠。秀才对于阿Ｑ的态度也很不平，于是说，这忘八蛋要提防，或者不如吩咐地保，不许他住在未庄。但赵太爷以为不然，说这也怕要结怨，况且做这路生意的大概是“老鹰不吃窝下食”，本村倒不必担心的；只要自己夜里警醒点就是了。秀才听了这“庭训”㈨，非常之以为然，便即刻撤消了驱逐阿Ｑ的提议，而且叮嘱邹七嫂，请伊千万不要向人提起这一段话。
但第二日，邹七嫂便将那蓝裙去染了皂，又将阿Ｑ可疑之点传扬出去了，可是确没有提起秀才要驱逐他这一节。然而这已经于阿Ｑ很不利。最先，地保寻上门了，取了他的门幕去，阿Ｑ说是赵太太要看的，而地保也不还并且要议定每月的孝敬钱。其次，是村人对于他的敬畏忽而变相了，虽然还不敢来放肆，却很有远避的神情，而这神情和先前的防他来“嚓”的时候又不同，颇混着“敬而远之”的分子了。
只有一班闲人们却还要寻根究底的去探阿Ｑ的底细。阿Ｑ也并不讳饰，傲然的说出他的经验来。从此他们才知道，他不过是一个小脚色，不但不能上墙，并且不能进洞，只站在洞外接东西。有一夜，他刚才接到一个包，正手再进去，不一会，只听得里面大嚷起来，他便赶紧跑，连夜爬出城，逃回未庄来了，从此不敢再去做。然而这故事却于阿Ｑ更不利，村人对于阿Ｑ的“敬而远之”者，本因为怕结怨，谁料他不过是一个不敢再偷的偷儿呢？这实在是“斯亦不足畏也矣”㈩。
第七章　革命
宣统三年九月十四日（⒈）——即阿Ｑ将搭连卖给赵白眼的这一天——三更四点，有一只大乌篷船到了赵府上的河埠头。这船从黑魆魆中荡来，乡下人睡得熟，都没有知道；出去时将近黎明，却很有几个看见的了。据探头探脑的调查来的结果，知道那竟是举人老爷的船！
那船便将大不安载给了未庄，不到正午，全村的人心就很动摇。船的使命，赵家本来是很秘密的，但茶坊酒肆里却都说，革命党要进城，举人老爷到我们乡下来逃难了。惟有邹七嫂不以为然，说那不过是几口破衣箱，举人老爷想来寄存的，却已被赵太爷回复转去。其实举人老爷和赵秀才素不相能，在理本不能有“共患难”的情谊，况且邹七嫂又和赵家是邻居，见闻较为切近，所以大概该是伊对的。
然而谣言很旺盛，说举人老爷虽然似乎没有*椎剑从幸环獬ば牛驼约遗帕*“转折亲”。赵太爷肚里一轮，觉得于他总不会有坏处，便将箱子留下了，现就塞在太太的床底下。至于革命党，有的说是便在这一夜进了城，个个白盔白甲：穿着崇正皇帝的素（⒉）。
阿Ｑ的耳朵里，本来早听到过革命党这一句话，今年又亲眼见过杀掉革命党。但他有一种不知从那里来的意见，以为革命党便是造反，造反便是与他为难，所以一向是“深恶而痛绝之”的。殊不料这却使百里闻名的举人老爷有这样怕，于是他未免也有些“神往”了，况且未庄的一群鸟男女的慌张的神情，也使阿Ｑ更快意。
“革命也好罢，”阿Ｑ想，“革这伙妈妈的命，太可恶！太可恨！……便是我，也要投降革命党了。”
阿Ｑ近来用度窘，大约略略有些不平；加以午间喝了两碗空肚酒，愈加醉得快，一面想一面走，便又飘飘然起来。不知怎么一来，忽而似乎革命党便是自己，未庄人却都是他的俘虏了。他得意之余，禁不住大声的嚷道：
“造反了！造反了！”
未庄人都用了惊惧的眼光对他看。这一种可怜的眼光，是阿Ｑ从来没有见过的，一见之下，又使他舒服得如六月里喝了雪水。他更加高兴的走而且喊道：
“好，……我要什么就是什么，我欢喜谁就是谁。
得得，锵锵！
悔不该，酒醉错斩了郑贤弟，
悔不该，呀呀呀……
得得，锵锵，得，锵令锵！
我手执钢鞭将你打……”
赵府上的两位男人和两个真本家，也正站在大门口论革命。阿Ｑ没有见，昂了头直唱过去。
“得得，……”
“老Ｑ，”赵太爷怯怯的迎着低声的叫。
“锵锵，”阿Ｑ料不到他的名字会和“老”字联结起来，以为是一句别的话，与己无干，只是唱。“得，锵，锵令锵，锵！”
“老Ｑ。”
“悔不该……”
“阿Ｑ！”秀才只得直呼其名了。
阿Ｑ这才站住，歪着头问道，“什么？”
“老Ｑ，……现在……”赵太爷却又没有话，“现在……发财么？”
“发财？自然。要什么就是什么……”
“阿……Ｑ哥，像我们这样穷朋友是不要紧的……”赵白眼惴惴的说，似乎想探革命党的口风。
“穷朋友？你总比我有钱。”阿Ｑ说着自去了。
大家都怃然，没有话。赵太爷父子回家，晚上商量到点灯。赵白眼回家，便从腰间扯下搭连来，交给他女人藏在箱底里。
阿Ｑ飘飘然的飞了一通，回到土谷祠，酒已经醒透了。这晚上，管祠的老头子也意外的和气，请他喝茶；阿Ｑ便向他要了两个饼，吃完之后，又要了一支点过的四两烛和一个树烛台，点起来，独自躺在自己的小屋里。他说不出的新鲜而且高兴，烛火像元夜似的闪闪的跳，他的思想也迸跳起来了：
“造反？有趣，……来了一阵白盔白甲的革命党，都拿着板刀，钢鞭，炸弹，洋炮，三尖两刃刀，钩镰枪，走过土谷祠，叫道，‘阿Ｑ！同去同去！’于是一同去。……
“这时未庄的一伙鸟男女才好笑哩，跪下叫道，‘阿Ｑ，饶命！’谁听他！第一个该死的是小Ｄ和赵太爷，还有秀才，还有假洋鬼子，……留几条么？王胡本来还可留，但也不要了。……
“东西，……直走进去打开箱子来：元宝，洋钱，洋纱衫，……秀才娘子的一张宁式床（⒊）先搬到土谷祠，此外便摆了钱家的桌椅，——或者也就用赵家的罢。自己是不动手的了，叫小Ｄ来搬，要搬得快，搬得不快打嘴巴。……
“赵司晨的妹子真丑。邹七嫂的女儿过几年再说。假洋鬼子的老婆会和没有辫子的男人睡觉，吓，不是好东西！秀才的老婆是眼胞上有疤的。……吴妈长久不见了，不知道在那里，——可惜脚太大。”
阿Ｑ没有想得十分停当，已经发了鼾声，四两烛还只点去了小半寸，红焰焰的光照着他张开的嘴。
“荷荷！”阿Ｑ忽而大叫起来，抬了头仓皇的四顾，待到看见四两烛，却又倒头睡去了。
第二天他起得很迟，走出街上看时，样样都照旧。他也仍然肚饿，他想着，想不起什么来；但他忽而似乎有了主意了，慢慢的跨开步，有意无意的走到静修庵。
庵和春天时节一样静，白的墙壁和漆黑的门。他想了一想，前去打门，一只狗在里面叫。他急急拾了几块断砖，再上去较为用力的打，打到黑门上生出许多麻点的时候，才听得有人来开门。
阿Ｑ连忙捏好砖头，摆开马步，准备和黑狗来开战。但庵门只开了一条缝，并无黑狗从中冲出，望进去只有一个老尼姑。
“你又来什么事？”伊大吃一惊的说。
“革命了……你知道？……”阿Ｑ说得很含胡。
“革命革命，革过一革的，……你们要革得我们怎么样呢？”老尼姑两眼通红的说。
“什么？……”阿Ｑ诧异了。
“你不知道，他们已经来革过了！”
“谁？……”阿Ｑ更其诧异了。
“那秀才和洋鬼子！”
阿Ｑ很出意外，不由的一错愕；老尼姑见他失了锐气，便飞速的关了门，阿Ｑ再推时，牢不可开，再打时，没有回答了。
那还是上午的事。赵秀才消息灵，一知道革命党已在夜间进城，便将辫子盘在顶上，一早去拜访那历来也不相能的钱洋鬼子。这是“咸与维新”（⒋）的时候了，所以他们便谈得很投机，立刻成了情投意合的同志，也相约去革命。他们想而又想，才想出静修庵里有一块“皇帝万岁万万岁”的龙牌，是应该赶紧革掉的，于是又立刻同到庵里去革命。因为老尼姑来阻挡，说了三句话，他们便将伊当作满政府，在头上很给了不少的棍子和栗凿。尼姑待他们走后，定了神来检点，龙牌固然已经碎在地上了，而且又不见了观音娘娘座前的一个宣德炉（⒌）。
这事阿Ｑ后来才知道。他颇悔自己睡着，但也深怪他们不来招呼他。他又退一步想道：
“难道他们还没有知道我已经投降了革命党么？”
第八章　不准革命
未庄的人心日见其安静了。据传来的消息，知道革命党虽然进了城，倒还没有什么大异样。知县大老爷还是原官，不过改称了什么，而且举人老爷也做了什么——这些名目，未庄人都说不明白——官，带兵的也还是先前的老把总（⒍）。只有一件可怕的事是另有几个不好的革命党夹在里面捣乱，第二天便动手剪辫子，听说那邻村的航船七斤便着了道儿，弄得不像人样子了。但这却还不算大恐怖，因为未庄人本来少上城，即使偶有想进城的，也就立刻变了计，碰不着这危险。阿Ｑ本也想进城去寻他的老朋友，一得这消息，也只得作罢了。
但未庄也不能说是无改革。几天之后，将辫子盘在顶上的逐渐增加起来了，早经说过，最先自然是茂才公，其次便是赵司晨和赵白眼，后来是阿Ｑ。倘在夏天，大家将辫子盘在头顶上或者打一个结，本不算什么稀奇事，但现在是暮秋，所以这“秋行夏令”的情形，在盘辫家不能不说是万分的英断，而在未庄也不能说无关于改革了。
赵司晨脑后空荡荡的走来，看见的人大嚷说，
“豁，革命党来了！”
阿Ｑ听到了很羡慕。他虽然早知道秀才盘辫的大新闻，但总没有想到自己可以照样做，现在看见赵司晨也如此，才有了学样的意思，定下实行的决心。他用一支竹筷将辫子盘在头顶上，迟疑多时，这才放胆的走去。
他在街上走，人也看他，然而不说什么话，阿Ｑ当初很不快，后来便很不平。他近来很容易闹脾气了；其实他的生活，倒也并不比造反之前反艰难，人见他也客气，店铺也不说要现钱。而阿Ｑ总觉得自己太失意：既然革了命，不应该只是这样的。况且有一回看见小Ｄ，愈使他气破肚皮了。
小Ｄ也将辫子盘在头顶上了，而且也居然用一支竹筷。阿Ｑ万料不到他也敢这样做，自己也决不准他这样做！小Ｄ是什么东西呢？他很想即刻揪住他，拗断他的竹筷，放下他的辫子，并且批他几个嘴巴，聊且惩罚他忘了生辰八字，也敢来做革命党的罪。但他终于饶放了，单是怒目而视的吐一口唾沫道“呸！”
这几日里，进城去的只有一个假洋鬼子。赵秀才本也想靠着寄存箱子的渊源，亲身去拜访举人老爷的，但因为有剪辫的危险，所以也中止了。他写了一封“黄伞格”（⒎）的信，托假洋鬼子带上城，而且托他给自己绍介绍介，去进自由党。假洋鬼子回来时，向秀才讨还了四块洋钱，秀才便有一块银桃子挂在大襟上了；未庄人都惊服，说这是柿油党的顶子（⒏），抵得一个翰林（⒐）；赵太爷因此也骤然大阔，远过于他儿子初隽秀才的时候，所以目空一切，见了阿Ｑ，也就很有些不放在眼里了。
阿Ｑ正在不平，又时时刻刻感着冷落，一听得这银桃子的传说，他立即悟出自己之所以冷落的原因了：要革命，单说投降，是不行的；盘上辫子，也不行的；第一着仍然要和革命党去结识。他生平所知道的革命党只有两个，城里的一个早已“嚓”的杀掉了，现在只剩了一个假洋鬼子。他除却赶紧去和假洋鬼子商量之外，再没有别的道路了。
钱府的大门正开着，阿Ｑ便怯怯的躄进去。他一到里面，很吃了惊，只见假洋鬼子正站在院子的中央，一身乌黑的大约是洋衣，身上也挂着一块银桃子，手里是阿Ｑ曾经领教过的棍子，已经留到一尺多长的辫子都拆开了披在肩背上，蓬头散发的像一个刘海仙（⒑）。对面挺直的站着赵白眼和三个闲人，正在必恭必敬的听说话。
阿Ｑ轻轻的走近了，站在赵白眼的背后，心里想招呼，却不知道怎么说才好：叫他假洋鬼子固然是不行的了，洋人也不妥，革命党也不妥，或者就应该叫洋先生了罢。
洋先生却没有见他，因为白着眼睛讲得正起劲：
“我是性急的，所以我们见面，我总是说：洪哥（⒒）！我们动手罢！他却总说道Ｎｏ！——这是洋话，你们不懂的。否则早已成功了。然而这正是他做事小心的地方。他再三再四的请我上湖北，我还没有肯。谁愿意在这小县城里做事情。……”
“唔，……这个……”阿Ｑ候他略停，终于用十二分的勇气开口了，但不知道因为什么，又并不叫他洋先生。
听着说话的四个人都吃惊的回顾他。洋先生也才看见：
“什么？”
“我……”
“出去！”
“我要投……”
“滚出去！”洋先生扬起哭丧棒来了。
赵白眼和闲人们便都吆喝道：“先生叫你滚出去，你还不听么！”
阿Ｑ将手向头上一遮，不自觉的逃出门外；洋先生倒也没有追。他快跑了六十多步，这才慢慢的走，于是心里便涌起了忧愁：洋先生不准他革命，他再没有别的路；从此决不能望有白盔白甲的人来叫他，他所有的抱负，志向，希望，前程，全被一笔勾销了。至于闲人们传扬开去，给小Ｄ王胡等辈笑话，倒是还在其次的事。
他似乎从来没有经验过这样的无聊。他对于自己的盘辫子，仿佛也觉得无意味，要侮蔑；为报仇起见，很想立刻放下辫子来，但也没有竟放。他游到夜间，赊了两碗酒，喝下肚去，渐渐的高兴起来了，思想里才又出现白盔白甲的碎片。
有一天，他照例的混到夜深，待酒店要关门，才踱回土谷祠去。
拍，吧～～！
他忽而听得一种异样的声音，又不是爆竹。阿Ｑ本来是爱看热闹，爱管闲事的，便在暗中直寻过去。似乎前面有些脚步声；他正听，猛然间一个人从对面逃来了。阿Ｑ一看见，便赶紧翻身跟着逃。那人转弯，阿Ｑ也转弯，那人站住了，阿Ｑ也站住。他看后面并无什么，看那人便是小Ｄ。
“什么？”阿Ｑ不平起来了。
“赵……赵家遭抢了！”小Ｄ气喘吁吁的说。
阿Ｑ的心怦怦的跳了。小Ｄ说了便走；阿Ｑ却逃而又停的两三回。但他究竟是做过“这路生意”，格外胆大，于是躄出路角，仔细的听，似乎有些嚷嚷，又仔细的看，似乎许多白盔白甲的人，络绎的将箱子抬出了，器具抬出了，秀才娘子的宁式床也抬出了，但是不分明，他还想上前，两只脚却没有动。
这一夜没有月，未庄在黑暗里很寂静，寂静到像羲皇（⒓）时候一般太平。阿Ｑ站着看到自己发烦，也似乎还是先前一样，在那里来来往往的搬，箱子抬出了，器具抬出了，秀才娘子的宁式床也抬出了，……抬得他自己有些不信他的眼睛了。但他决计不再上前，却回到自己的祠里去了。
土谷祠里更漆黑；他关好大门，摸进自己的屋子里。他躺了好一会，这才定了神，而且发出关于自己的思想来：白盔白甲的人明明到了，并不来打招呼，搬了许多好东西，又没有自己的份，——这全是假洋鬼子可恶，不准我造反，否则，这次何至于没有我的份呢？阿Ｑ越想越气，终于禁不住满心痛恨起来，毒毒的点一点头：“不准我造反，只准你造反？妈妈的假洋鬼子，——好，你造反！造反是杀头的罪名呵，我总要告一状，看你抓进县里去杀头，——满门抄斩，——嚓！嚓！”
第九章　大团圆
赵家遭抢之后，未庄人大抵很快意而且恐慌，阿Ｑ也很快意而且恐慌。但四天之后，阿Ｑ在半夜里忽被抓进县城里去了。那时恰是暗夜，一队兵，一队团丁，一队警察，五个侦探，悄悄地到了未庄，乘昏暗围住土谷祠，正对门架好机关枪；然而阿Ｑ不冲出。许多时没有动静，把总焦急起来了，悬了二十千的赏，才有两个团丁冒了险，逾垣进去，里应外合，一拥而入，将阿Ｑ抓出来；直待擒出祠外面的机关枪左近，他才有些清醒了。
到进城，已经是正午，阿Ｑ见自己被搀进一所破衙门，转了五六个弯，便推在一间小屋里。他刚刚一跄踉，那用整株的木料做成的栅栏门便跟着他的脚跟阖上了，其余的三面都是墙壁，仔细看时，屋角上还有两个人。
阿Ｑ虽然有些忐忑，却并不很苦闷，因为他那土谷祠里的卧室，也并没有比这间屋子更高明。那两个也仿佛是乡下人，渐渐和他兜搭起来了，一个说是举人老爷要追他祖父欠下来的陈租，一个不知道为了什么事。他们问阿Ｑ，阿Ｑ爽利的答道，“因为我想造反。”
他下半天便又被抓出栅栏门去了，到得大堂，上面坐着一个满头剃得精光的老头子。阿Ｑ疑心他是和尚，但看见下面站着一排兵，两旁又站着十几个长衫人物，也有满头剃得精光像这老头子的，也有将一尺来长的头发披在背后像那假洋鬼子的，都是一脸横肉，怒目而视的看他；他便知道这人一定有些来历，膝关节立刻自然而然的宽松，便跪了下去了。
“站着说！不要跪！”长衫人物都吆喝说。
阿Ｑ虽然似乎懂得，但总觉得站不住，身不由己的蹲了下去，而且终于趁势改为跪下了。
“奴隶性！……”长衫人物又鄙夷似的说，但也没有叫他起来。
“你从实招来罢，免得吃苦。我早都知道了。招了可以放你。”那光头的老头子看定了阿Ｑ的脸，沉静的清楚的说。
“招罢！”长衫人物也大声说。
“我本来要……来投……”阿Ｑ胡里胡涂的想了一通，这才断断续续的说。
“那么，为什么不来的呢？”老头子和气的问。
“假洋鬼子不准我！”
“胡说！此刻说，也迟了。现在你的同党在那里？”
“什么？……”
“那一晚打劫赵家的一伙人。”
“他们没有来叫我。他们自己搬走了。”阿Ｑ提起来便愤愤。
“走到那里去了呢？说出来便放你了。”老头子更和气了。
“我不知道，……他们没有来叫我……”
然而老头子使了一个眼色，阿Ｑ便又被抓进栅栏门里了。他第二次抓出栅栏门，是第二天的上午。
大堂的情形都照旧。上面仍然坐着光头的老头子，阿Ｑ也仍然下了跪。
老头子和气的问道，“你还有什么话说么？”
阿Ｑ一想，没有话，便回答说，“没有。”
于是一个长衫人物拿了一张纸，并一支笔送到阿Ｑ的面前，要将笔塞在他手里。阿Ｑ这时很吃惊，几乎“魂飞魄散”了：因为他的手和笔相关，这回是初次。他正不知怎样拿；那人却又指着一处地方教他画花押。
“我……我……不认得字。”阿Ｑ一把抓住了笔，惶恐而且惭愧的说。
“那么，便宜你，画一个圆圈！”
阿Ｑ要画圆圈了，那手捏着笔却只是抖。于是那人替他将纸铺在地上，阿Ｑ伏下去，使尽了平生的力气画圆圈。他生怕被人笑话，立志要画得圆，但这可恶的笔不但很沉重，并且不听话，刚刚一抖一抖的几乎要合缝，却又向外一耸，画成瓜子模样了。
阿Ｑ正羞愧自己画得不圆，那人却不计较，早已掣了纸笔去，许多人又将他第二次抓进栅栏门。
他第二次进了栅栏，倒也并不十分懊恼。他以为人生天地之间，大约本来有时要抓进抓出，有时要在纸上画圆圈的，惟有圈而不圆，却是他“行状”上的一个污点。但不多时也就释然了，他想：孙子才画得很圆的圆圈呢。于是他睡着了。
然而这一夜，举人老爷反而不能睡：他和把总呕了气了。举人老爷主张第一要追赃，把总主张第一要示众。把总近来很不将举人老爷放在眼里了，拍案打凳的说道，“惩一儆百！你看，我做革命党还不上二十天，抢案就是十几件，全不破案，我的面子在那里？破了案，你又来迂。不成！这是我管的！”举人老爷窘急了，然而还坚持，说是倘若不追赃，他便立刻辞了帮办民政的职务。而把总却道，“请便罢！”于是举人老爷在这一夜竟没有睡，但幸第二天倒也没有辞。
阿Ｑ第三次抓出栅栏门的时候，便是举人老爷睡不着的那一夜的明天的上午了。他到了大堂，上面还坐着照例的光头老头子；阿Ｑ也照例的下了跪。
老头子很和气的问道，“你还有什么话么？”
阿Ｑ一想，没有话，便回答说，“没有。”
许多长衫和短衫人物，忽然给他穿上一件洋布的白背心，上面有些黑字。阿Ｑ很气苦：因为这很像是带孝，而带孝是晦气的。然而同时他的两手反缚了，同时又被一直抓出衙门外去了。
阿Ｑ被抬上了一辆没有蓬的车，几个短衣人物也和他同坐在一处。这车立刻走动了，前面是一班背着洋炮的兵们和团丁，两旁是许多张着嘴的看客，后面怎样，阿Ｑ没有见。但他突然觉到了：这岂不是去杀头么？他一急，两眼发黑，耳朵里〔口皇〕的一声，似乎发昏了。然而他又没有全发昏，有时虽然着急，有时却也泰然；他意思之间，似乎觉得人生天地间，大约本来有时也未免要杀头的。
他还认得路，于是有些诧异了：怎么不向着法场走呢？他不知道这是在游街，在示众。但即使知道也一样，他不过便以为人生天地间，大约本来有时也未免要游街要示众罢了。
他省悟了，这是绕到法场去的路，这一定是“嚓”的去杀头。他惘惘的向左右看，全跟着马蚁似的人，而在无意中，却在路旁的人丛中发见了一个吴妈。很久违，伊原来在城里做工了。阿Ｑ忽然很羞愧自己没志气：竟没有唱几句戏。他的思想仿佛旋风似的在脑里一回旋：《小孤孀上坟》欠堂皇，《龙虎斗》里的“悔不该……”也太乏，还是“手执钢鞭将你打”罢。他同时想手一扬，才记得这两手原来都捆着，于是“手执钢鞭”也不唱了。
“过了二十年又是一个……”阿Ｑ在百忙中，“无师自通”的说出半句从来不说的话。
“好！！！”从人丛里，便发出豺狼的嗥叫一般的声音来。
车子不住的前行，阿Ｑ在喝采声中，轮转眼睛去看吴妈，似乎伊一向并没有见他，却只是出神的看着兵们背上的洋炮。
阿Ｑ于是再看那些喝采的人们。
这刹那中，他的思想又仿佛旋风似的在脑里一回旋了。四年之前，他曾在山脚下遇见一只饿狼，永是不近不远的跟定他，要吃他的肉。他那时吓得几乎要死，幸而手里有一柄斫柴刀，才得仗这壮了胆，支持到未庄；可是永远记得那狼眼睛，又凶又怯，闪闪的像两颗鬼火，似乎远远的来穿透了他的皮肉。而这回他又看见从来没有见过的更可怕的眼睛了，又钝又锋利，不但已经咀嚼了他的话，并且还要咀嚼他皮肉以外的东西，永是不近不远的跟他走。
这些眼睛们似乎连成一气，已经在那里咬他的灵魂。
“救命，……”
然而阿Ｑ没有说。他早就两眼发黑，耳朵里嗡的一声，觉得全身仿佛微尘似的迸散了。
至于当时的影响，最大的倒反在举人老爷，因为终于没有追赃，他全家都号啕了。其次是赵府，非特秀才因为上城去报官，被不好的革命党剪了辫子，而且又破费了二十千的赏钱，所以全家也号啕了。从这一天以来，他们便渐渐的都发生了遗老的气味。
至于舆论，在未庄是无异议，自然都说阿Ｑ坏，被枪毙便是他的坏的证据：不坏又何至于被枪毙呢？而城里的舆论却不佳，他们多半不满足，以为枪毙并无杀头这般好看；而且那是怎样的一个可笑的死囚呵，游了那么久的街，竟没有唱一句戏：他们白跟一趟了。。
□注释
⑴本篇最初分章发表于北京《晨报副刊》，自一九二一年十二月四日起至一九二二年二月十二日止，每周或隔周刊登一次，署名巴人。作者在一九二五年曾为这篇小说的俄文译本写过一篇短序，后收在《集外集》中；一九二六年又写过《阿Ｑ正传的成因》一文，收在《华盖集续编》中，都可参看。
⑵“立言”：我国古代所谓“三不朽”之一。《左传》襄公二十四年载鲁国大夫叔孙豹的话：“太上有立德，其次有立功，其次有立言，虽久不废，此之谓不朽。”
⑶“名不正则言不顺”：语见《论语·子路》。
⑷内传：小说体传记的一种。作者在一九三一年三月三日给《阿Ｑ正传》日译者山上正义的校释中说：“昔日道士写仙人的事多以‘内传’题名。”
⑸“正史”：封建时代由官方撰修或认可的史书。清代乾隆时规定自《史记》至《明史》历代二十四部纪传体史书为“正史”。“正史”中的“列传”部分，一般都是著名人物的传记。
⑹宣付国史馆立“本传”：旧时效忠于统治阶级的重要人物或所谓名人，死后由政府明令褒扬，令文末常有“宣付国史馆立传”的话。历代编纂史书的机构，名称不一，清代叫国史馆。辛亥革命后，北洋军阀及国民党政府都曾沿用这一名称。
⑺迭更司（１８１２—１８７０）：通译狄更斯，英国小说家。著有《大卫·科波菲尔》、《双城记》等。《博徒别传》原名《劳特奈·斯吞》，英国小说家柯南·道尔（１８５９—１９３０）著。鲁迅在一九二六年八月八日致韦素园信中曾说：“《博徒别传》是RodneyStone的译名，但是C。Doyle做的。《阿Ｑ正传》中说是迭更司作，乃是我误记。”
⑻“引车卖浆者流”所用的话：指白话文。一九三一年三月三日作者给日本山上正义的校释中说：“‘引车卖浆’，即拉车卖豆腐浆之谓，系指蔡元培氏之父。那时，蔡元培氏为北京大学校长，亦系主张白话者之一，故亦受到攻击之矢。”
⑼不入三教九流的小说家：三教，指儒教、佛教、道教；九流，即九家。《汉书·艺文志》中分古代诸子为十家：儒家、道家、阴阳家、法家、名家、墨家、纵横家、杂家、农家、小说家，并说：“诸子十家，其可观者九家而已。”“小说家者流，盖出于稗官。街谈巷语，道听途说者之所造也。……是以君子弗为也。”
⑽《书法正传》：一部关于书法的书，清代冯武著，共十卷。这里的“正传”是“正确的传授”的意思。
⑾“著之竹帛”：语出《吕氏春秋·仲春纪》：“著乎竹帛，传乎后世。”竹，竹简；帛，绢绸。我国古代未发明造纸前曾用来书写文字。
⑿茂才：即秀才。东汉时，因为避光武帝刘秀的名讳，改秀才为茂才；后来有时也沿用作秀才的别称。
⒀陈独秀办了《新青年》提倡洋字：指一九一八年前后钱玄同等人在《新青年》杂志上开展关于废除汉字、改用罗马字母拼音的讨论一事。一九三一年三月三日作者在给山上正义的校释中说：“主张使用罗马字母的是钱玄同，这里说是陈独秀，系茂才公之误。”
⒁《郡名百家姓》：《百家姓》是以前学塾所用的识字课本之一，宋初人编纂。为便于诵读，将姓氏连缀为四言韵语。《郡名百家姓》则在每一姓上都附注郡（古代地方区域的名称）名，表示某姓望族曾居古代某地，如赵为“天水”、钱为“彭城”之类。
⒂胡适之（１８９１—１９６２）：即胡适，安徽绩溪人，买办资产阶级文人、政客。他在一九二○年七月所作《〈水浒传〉考证》中自称“有历史癖与考据癖”。
⒃“行状”：原指封建时代记述死者世系、籍贯、生卒、事迹的文字，一般由其家属撰写。这里泛指经历。
⒄土谷祠：即土地庙。土谷，指土地神和五谷神。
⒅“文童”：也称“童生”，指科举时代习举业而尚未考取秀才的人。
⒆状元：科举时代，经皇帝殿试取中的第一名进士叫状元。
⒇押牌宝：一种赌博。赌局中为主的人叫“桩家”；下文的“青龙”、“天门”、“穿堂”等都是押牌宝的用语，指押赌注的位置；“四百”、“一百五十”是押赌注的钱数。
①“塞翁失马安知非福”：据《淮南子·人间训》：“近塞上之人有善术者，马无故亡胡中，人皆吊之。其父曰：此何遽不能为福乎？居数月，其马将胡骏马而归，人皆贺之。其父曰：此何遽不能为祸乎？家富马良，其子好骑，堕而折髀，人皆吊之。其父曰：此何遽不能为福乎？居一年，胡人大入塞，丁壮者控弦而战，塞上之人死者十九，此独以跛之故，父子相保。故福之为祸，祸之为福，化不可极，深不可测也。”
②赛神：即迎神赛会，旧时的一种迷信习俗。以鼓乐仪仗和杂戏等迎神出庙，周游街巷，以酬神祈福。
③《小孤孀上坟》：当时流行的一出绍兴地方戏。
④太牢：按古代祭礼，原指牛、羊、豕三牲，但后来单称牛为太牢。
⑤皇帝已经停了考：光绪三十一年（１９０５），清政府下令自丙午科起，废止科举考试。
⑥哭丧棒：旧时在为父母送殡时，儿子须手拄“孝杖”，以表示悲痛难支。阿Ｑ因厌恶假洋鬼子，所以把他的手杖咒为“哭丧棒”。
⑦“不孝有三无后为大”：语见《孟子·离娄》。据汉代赵岐注：“于礼有不孝者三事，谓阿意曲从，陷亲不义，一不孝也；家穷亲老，不为禄仕，二不孝也；不娶无子，绝先祖祀，三不孝也。三者之中，无后为大。”
⑧“若敖之鬼馁而”：语出《左传》宣公四年：楚国令尹子良（若敖氏）的儿子越椒长相凶恶，子良的哥哥子文认为越椒长大后会招致灭族之祸，要子良杀死他。子良没有依从。子文临死时说：“鬼犹求食，若敖氏之鬼不其馁而。”意思是若敖氏以后没有子孙供饭，鬼魂都要挨饿了。而，语尾助词。
⑨“不能收其放心”：《尚书·毕命》：“虽收放心，闲之维艰。”放心，心无约束的意思。
⑩妲己：殷纣王的妃子。下文的褒姒是周幽王的妃子。《史记》中有商因妲己而亡，周因褒姒而衰的记载。貂蝉是《三国演义》中王允家的一个歌妓，书中有吕布为争夺她而杀死董卓的故事。作者在这里是讽刺那种把历史上亡国败家的原因都归罪于妇女的观点。
㈠“男女之大防”：指封建礼教对男女之间所规定的严格界限，如“男子居外，女子居内”（《礼记·内则》），“男女授受不亲”（《孟子·离娄》），等等。
㈡“诛心”：犹“诛意”。《后汉书·霍〔言胥〕传》：“《春秋》之义，原情定过，赦事诛意。”诛心、诛意，指不问实际情形如何而主观地推究别人的居心。
㈢“而立”：语出《论语·为政》：“三十而立”。原是孔丘说他三十岁在学问上有所自立的话，后来就常被用作三十岁的代词。
㈣小Ｄｏｎ：即小同。作者在《且介亭杂文·寄〈戏〉周刊编者信》中说：“他叫‘小同’，大起来，和阿Ｑ一样。”
㈤“我手执钢鞭将你打！”：这一句及下文的“悔不该，酒醉错斩了郑贤弟”，都是当时绍兴地方戏《龙虎斗》中的唱词。这出戏演的是宋太祖赵匡胤和呼延赞交战的故事。郑贤弟，指赵匡胤部下猛将郑子明。
㈥“士别三日便当刮目相待”：语出《三国志·吴书·吕蒙传》裴松之注：“士别三日，即更刮目相待。”刮目，拭目的意思。
㈦三十二张的竹牌：一种赌具。即牙牌或骨牌，用象牙或兽骨所制，简陋的就用竹制成。下文的“麻酱”指麻雀牌，俗称麻将，也是一种赌具。阿Ｑ把“麻将”讹为“麻酱”。
㈧三百大钱九二串：即“三百大钱，以九十二文作为一百”（见《华盖集续编·阿Ｑ正传的成因》）。旧时我国用的铜钱，中有方孔，可用绳子串在一起，每千枚（或每枚“当十”的大钱一百枚）为一串，称作一吊，但实际上常不足数。
㈨“庭训”：《论语·季氏》载：孔丘“尝独立，鲤（按：即孔丘的儿子）趋而过庭”，孔丘要他学“诗”、学“礼”。后来就常有人称父亲的教训为“庭训”或“过庭之训”。
㈩“斯亦不足畏也矣”：语见《论语·子罕》。
（⒈）宣统三年九月十四日：这一天是公元一九一一年十一月四日，辛亥革命武昌起义后的第二十五天。据《中国革命记》第三册（一九一一年上海自由社编印）记载：辛亥九月十四日杭州府为民军占领，绍兴府即日宣布光复。
（⒉）穿着崇正皇帝的素：崇正，作品中人物对崇祯的讹称。崇祯是明思宗（朱由检）的年号。明亡于清，后来有些农民起义的部队，常用“反清复明”的口号来反对清朝统治，因此直到清末还有人认为革命军起义是替崇祯皇帝报仇。
（⒊）宁式床：浙江宁波一带制作的一种比较讲究的床。
（⒋）“咸与维新”：语见《尚书·胤征》：“旧染污俗，咸与维新。”原意是对一切受恶习影响的人都给以弃旧从新的机会。这里指辛亥革命时革命派与反对势力妥协，地主官僚等乘此投机的现象。
（⒌）宣德炉：明宣宗宣德年间（１４２６—１４３５）制造的一种比较名贵的小型铜香炉，炉底有“大明宣德年制”字样。
（⒍）把总：清代最下一级的武官。
（⒎）“黄伞格”：一种写信格式。这样的信表示对于对方的恭敬。
（⒏）柿油党的顶子：柿油党是“自由党”的谐音，作者在《华盖集续集·阿Ｑ正传的成因》中说：“‘柿油党’……原是‘自由党’，乡下人不能懂，便讹成他们能懂的‘柿油党’了。”顶子是清代官员帽顶上表示官阶的帽珠。这里是未庄人把自由党的徽章比作官员的“顶子”。
（⒐）翰林：唐代以来皇帝的文学侍从的名称。明、清时代凡进士选入翰林院供职者通称翰林，担任编修国史、起草文件等工作，是一种名望较高的文职官衔。
（⒑）刘海仙：指五代时的刘海蟾。相传他在终南山修道成仙。流行于民间的他的画像，一般都是披着长发，前额覆有短发。
⒒）洪哥：大概指黎元洪。他原任清朝新军第二十一混成协的协统（相当于以后的旅长），一九一一年武昌起义时，被拉出来担任革命军的鄂军都督。他并未参与武昌起义的筹划。
（⒓）羲皇：指伏羲氏。传说中我国上古时代的帝王。他的时代过去曾被形容为太平盛世。