Murphy's Law

-- 摘录：墨菲法则 一

　　If anything can go wrong, it will。

　　如果事情还能更糟的话，它会的。

　　In nature, nothing is ever right. Therefore, if everything is going right ... something is wrong。

　　在现实生活中，没有什么事情是永远正确的。所以，如果每件事都在朝好的方向发展……一定出问题了。

　　It is impossible to make anything foolproof because fools are so ingenious。

　　愚蠢是不可避免的，因为愚蠢太富有创造力了。

　　Nothing is as easy as it looks

　　没什么事情像看上去一样简单。

　　Everything takes longer than you think

　　每件事总比你估计的要多花点时间

　　Whenever you set out to do something, something else must be done first

　　每当你准备做什么的时候，总有些别的事你得先做了。

　　Every solution breeds new problems

　　每个解决办法都会衍生出新的问题。

　　The legibility of a copy is inversely proportional to its importance

　　文件的可读性和它的重要性是成反比的。

　　The chance of the buttered side of the bread falling face down is directly proportional to the cost of the carpet

　　面包往下掉的时候，抹了白脱一面冲下的概率和地毯的价值成正比。

　　You will always find something in the last place you look

　　东西总是在你最后去找的地方被发现。

　　-- 摘录：墨菲法则 二

　　Left to themselves, things tend to go from bad to worse

　　听之任之的话，事情一般不会向好的方向发展。

　　After you bought a replacement for something you've lost and searched for everywhere, you'll find the original

　　在你丢了东西到处找不到并买了新的后，你就会找回原来丢了的那样。

　　The other line always moves faster

　　你旁边的车道总是比你这条走得快些。

　　When a broken appliance is demonstrated for the repairman, it will work perfectly

　　每次演示给修理工看电器如何不正常运作时，它都干得挺好。

　　Build a system that even a fool can use, and only a fool will use it

　　建立一个连傻瓜都会用的系统的话，一般只有傻瓜才会去用。

　　Everyone has a scheme for getting rich that will not work

　　每个人都有套没法运作的致富计划。

　　In any hierarchy, each individual rises to his own level of incompetence, and then remains there

　　在任何等级制度中，每个独立个体都会迁升到力所不能及的职务，然后就呆在那儿了。

　　The better you know the amount of ill luck that will strike you,

　　the worse you know when this will happen

　　你越清楚厄运的危害，你越不知道它什么时候降临。

　　Your best golf shots always occur when playing alone

　　你最好的分数一定是你一个人玩的时候得到的。

　　He who angers you controls you, there-fore you have no control over your anger

　　都是那些让你愤怒的人控制你，所以你没法控制你的愤怒。

　　No matter how hard you try, you cannot push a string

　　不管你怎么努力，你不能推一根绳子。

　　-- 摘录：墨菲法则 三

　　Murphy's Law Current Revision

　　Any thing that can go wrong, HAS Already Gone Wrong!

　　You just haven't been notified

　　墨菲法则现代版：

　　如果事情还能更糟的话，它已经有那么糟了，只是你没发觉罢了。

　　all good things come to those who wait...

　　but , don't wait too long or they will pass you by...

　　like 2 ships that pass in the night...

　　never again to return that same exact site

　　好事情总是为等待它们的人来临，但是，不要等太久，它们会擦肩而过，就像两艘夜航的船，再也回不到本可以相逢的那个刹那。

　　No degree of acceptance can ever change the facts

　　没有任何限度的接受可以改变现实。

　　Beauty is only skin deep, fashion even shallower

　　如果美貌是肤浅的话，时髦连汗毛都没沾上。

　　A person without values or standards can never be a hypocrite

　　一个没有价值观和做人标准的人是不可能成为伪君子的。

　　Don't let go of something until you have a hold of something else

　　不管是西瓜还是芝麻，没捡到前别把手里的扔了。

　　It takes forever to learn the rules and once you've learned them they change again

　　规则不容易掌握，一旦掌握了，规则又变了。

　　The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds,

　　the pessimist fears this is true

　　乐观主义者声称相比前生和来世，我们生活的世界是最好的，悲观主义者就怕这是真的。

　　You will find an easy way to do it, after you've finished doing it

　　你总能找出一个更便捷的方法，在你已经做完这件事以后。

　　The wind will always blow opposite to your hairdo

　　风永远不顺着你的发型吹。

　　Window polishing: It's always on the other side

　　擦窗法则：不干净的老是在另一面。

　　-- 摘录：墨菲法则 四

　　Anyone who isn't paranoid simply isn't paying attention

　　没有得妄想症的人普遍注意力不集中。

　　Whenever you cut your finger nails, you find a need for them an hour later

　　每次剪了指甲后没多久，就有用得着它们的地方。

　　Nothing is impossible for the man who doesn't have to do it himself

　　对一个不需要自己来做的人来说，没有什么是不可能的。

　　Probabilities serve only and exclusively to determine the degree of improbability of the catastrophes that actually take place

　　概率，也只有概率，是用来解释为什么不大可能发生的灾难发生了。

　　Two wrongs don't make a right. It usually takes three or four

　　错错不会得对。一般要错上个三四次才行。

　　If the truth is in your favor no one will believe you

　　如果真相对你有利，没人会信你。

　　The difference between Stupidity and Genius is that Genius has its limits

　　天才和愚蠢的区别是天才有它的局限性。

　　Those who don't take decisions never make mistakes

　　不做决定的人是不会犯错的。

　　Murphy's Metalaw

　　Knowing Murphy's Law will never help

　　墨菲星际法则：知道墨菲法则不会带来任何帮助。

　　Everything that could possibly go wrong for anyone else always seems to happen to you

　　那些谁碰上都倒霉的事儿老是在你身上应验。

　　The person ahead of you in the queue, will have the most complex transaction possible

　　排在你前面的人总是有最复杂的手续要办。

　　-- 摘录：墨菲爱情法则 一

　　A good women/men are like parking spots, all the good ones are taken

　　一个好女人或者好男人就像泊车位一样，好的都给占了。

　　Brains x Beauty x Availability = Constant. This constant is always zero

　　智慧和相貌以及可行性的乘积是个常量，而这个常量总是为零。

　　Money can't buy love, but it sure gets you a great bargaining position

　　钱不能买到爱情，但毫无疑问它的份量可以影响杠杆的平衡。

　　Sex takes up the least amount of time and causes the most amount of trouble

　　性爱只需要最短的时间就能带来最多的麻烦。

　　No matter how many times you've had it, if it's offered take it, because it'll never be quite the same again

　　不管你曾经拥有了多少次，如果还有的话，接受吧，因为每次都是不同的。

　　If it seems too good to be true, it probably is

　　如果令你难以置信的话，你最好还是别信。

　　When a man's wife learns to understand him, she usually stops listening to him

　　当一个男人的妻子学会去理解她丈夫的时候，她一般不再听他怎么说了。

　　The qualities that most attract a woman to a man are usually the same ones she can't stand years later

　　某个男人最吸引某个女人的品质也就是多年后那个女人所不能容忍的。

　　Sex is hereditary. If your parents never had it, chances are you won't either

　　性爱是遗传的。如果你父母从来没有过，那你也不会有的。

　　It was not the apple on the tree but the pair on the ground that caused the trouble in the garden

　　在花园里造成麻烦的不是树上的苹果，而是那双在地上的脚。

　　-- 摘录：墨菲爱情法则 二

　　Before you find your handsome prince, you've got to kiss a lot of frogs

　　在发现你的英俊王子之前，你已经吻过了无数只青蛙。

　　There may be some things better than sex, and some things worse than sex. But there is nothing exactly like it

　　有些东西可能比性爱好，有些东西可能比性爱差，但没有一样东西是像性爱那样的。

　　If the effort that went in research on the female bosom had gone into our space program, we would now be running hot-dog stands on the moon

　　如果把用在研究女人胸部的精力放在航天计划上的话，我们或许已经在月球上练摊儿了。

　　Love is a matter of chemistry, sex is a matter of physics

　　爱是化学反应，性是物理反应。

　　It is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all

　　爱过了，失去了，好过爱也没爱过。

　　A woman never forgets the men she could have had; a man, the women he couldn't

　　女人永远不会忘了那个她曾经可以拥有的男人；男人永远不会忘了那个他没可能拥有的女人。

　　It is better to be looked over than overlooked

　　匆匆一瞥好过目中无人。

　　Don't do it if you can't keep it up

　　不能继续下去的话，最好还是别做。

　　Love is the delusion that one woman differs from another

　　爱，是一种错觉，让你认为某个女人不同于另一个。

　　If you're heart is broken, sweep up the pieces.

　　There will always be someone who will want to put it back together

　　如果你的心碎了，把碎片收拾起来。这世上总会有人想要把它补好。

　　-- 摘录：墨菲爱情法则 三

　　Love and high-school must NEVER go together

　　爱和高中永远也走不到一起。

　　Never trust a woman who acts like you are so sexy she can't help herself but drag you to bed

　　如果一个女人表现出因为你长得太性感以至于控制不住把你往床上拽得话，别信她。

　　The Key to a woman's heart is an unexpected gift at an unexpected time

　　打开女人心的钥匙是在一个意想不到的时间送上份意想不到的礼物。

　　The two thing no man can ever understand; Women and what makes all men complete damm fools over women

　　有两件事没一个男人能搞明白: 女人，和是什么让所有男人在女人面前变得绝对愚蠢。

　　The man shalt not win the argument he started

　　The man shalt not win the argument he didn't start

　　If a man won an argument, it was just in his head

　　男人挑起的争论，他赢不了。不是他挑起的，他也赢不了。如果他赢了，那只有他这么认为。

　　Before falling in love do take your backup, it always helps in recovery

　　在坠入爱河之前请备份，有助于伤后恢复。

　　Love has all the answers. But till then sex brings up some good questions

　　爱有了所有的答案。只是后来，性又带来些有意思的问题。

　　Anticipation is 98% of the pleasure

　　期待占据了快乐的98％。

　　Marriage is the greatest leveler

　　婚姻是最伟大的平均主义者。

　　If you're having difficulties choosing between potential two girls, you'll always pick the wrong one

　　如果你准备结束脚踩两只船的状况，基本上你抽回了那只不该抽的脚。

　　-- 摘录：墨菲爱情法则 四

　　If it seems perfect today, tomorrow it will end

　　如果今天看上去完美的话，明天将是终结。

　　Never make love in your back garden. Love is blind, but not your neighbors

　　别在你的后花园做爱。爱是盲目的，你的邻居不是。

　　Love is blind. Marriage is an eye opener

　　爱是盲目的，婚姻就是撑起眼皮的小棍儿。

　　Your best friend stop being your best friend the instant a beautiful woman walks in and you both are attracted to her

　　在一个美女走过来而你和你最要好的朋友都被她迷住的一刹那，你最要好的朋友不是你最要好的朋友了。

　　Women are like boats: they require constant maintenance and attention, and they cost a lot of money.

　　Men are like buses: another one will eventually come along

　　女人像游艇：需要定期的维护和关注，而且花费很高。

　　男人像公共汽车：下一班迟早会来。

　　Romance is when common sense flies out of the window

　　浪漫就是常识从窗口飞出去了。

　　Beauty is directly proportional to the number of drinks consumed

　　眼里的美貌与肚子里的佳酿成正比。

　　Any "Why" question, has no answer, and if it does, that answer is not logical

　　任何‘为什么’的问题都没有答案，如果有的话，答案也不合乎逻辑。

　　If you love a person let them go. If they don't come back they weren't worth it

　　如果你爱一个人，让他走。如果他没回来，他不值得你去爱。

　　To get your significant other you need: Time. Money and Energy.

　　The sum of the three is constant.

　　If you are short of one of them, you need quite a lot of the remaining two.

　　If you are short of two of them, you need tremendous amount of the remaining one.

　　If you are short of all the three, no hope.

　　Otherwise the result is always success.

　　想要得到你的另一半，你需要：时间，金钱和精力。

　　三者的总和是常量。

　　如果缺其中一样，另外两样的投入相应增加。

　　如果缺其中两样，剩下的那样需要巨大的投入。

　　如果三样都缺，没希望。

　　除了这些情况，结局都是成功的.

　　-- 摘录：墨菲爱情法则 五

　　You don't pay for sex, you pay him/her to leave after you're done

　　你不是花钱买乐子，你只是在完事后付钱让他/她离开。

　　Beaches law:

　　If you think a girl is beautiful, her boyfriend will always be there to confirm it

　　沙滩法则：如果你认为一个女孩漂亮的话，她的男朋友总会在那儿证实你的观点。

　　Marriage is like a dog with a bone, he might not touch it, just doesn't let another dogs come near it

　　婚姻关系就像一只狗和一根骨头，他/她可能碰都不碰那骨头，只是不允许其他狗靠近。

　　The difference between love and the common cold is that for the common cold there is a vaccine

　　爱和感冒的区别在于感冒是有药可治的。

　　Being told that someone doesn't want to date you because you're such a good friend, is like being told that you didn't get the job because you're overqualified

　　被告知某人不愿和你约会是因为你是个难得的好朋友，就像被告知你得不到这份工作是因为你资历太高了一样。

　　You don't fall in love, you fall in a hole. The depth of the hole is proportionate to how oblivious you are of the fall

　　你不是坠入爱河，你是掉在坑里。坑的深度和你对掉进去的健忘程度成正比。

　　-- 摘录：墨菲科技法则 一

　　Logic is a systematic method of coming to the wrong conclusion with confidence

　　逻辑就是一个让人充满信心的，系统的得出错误结论的方法。

　　An expert is one who knows more and more about less and less until he knows absolutely everything about nothing

　　专家就是那些在越来越狭窄的领域里知道得越来越多的人。照此推下去，总有一天他们会在空无的领域里知道一切。

　　Tell a man there are 300 billion stars in the universe and he'll believe you. Tell him a bench has wet paint on it and he'll have to touch to be sure.

　　告诉一个人宇宙有三千亿颗星星他会相信的。告诉他椅子刚漆过他非用手摸一下以确证。

　　Nothing ever gets built on schedule or within budget

　　没什么东西可以按计划或预算内完成的。

　　The first myth of management is that it exists

　　管理神话第一篇：管理的存在。

　　A failure will not appear till a unit has passed final inspection

　　失败总在通过了最后的检验后出现。

　　To err is human, but to really foul things up requires a computer

　　人总会犯错，但要把事情搞砸还需要一部电脑。

　　We don't know one millionth of one percent about anything

　　我们对任何事情所知的还不到百分之一的百万分之一。

　　Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic

　　任何充分绝对完全先进的技术和魔法没什么区别。

　　A computer makes as many mistakes in two seconds as 20 men working 20 years make

　　一台电脑在二十秒里犯的错误相当于二十个人在二十年里犯的错误的总和。

　　-- 摘录：墨菲科技法则 二

　　Nothing motivates a man more than to see his boss putting in an honest day's work

　　没什么比看到老板老老实实的干一天活更能激励员工的了。

　　Some people manage by the book, even though they don't know who wrote the book or even what book

　　一些人喜欢按图索骥，甚至有时他们都不知道是谁画的图，或甚至于是什么图。

　　To spot the expert, pick the one who predicts the job will take the longest and cost the most

　　如何甄别专家？那个认为该项目需要最长时间并需耗费最多资金的家伙就是。

　　Computers are unreliable, but humans are even more unreliable. Any system which depends on human reliability is unreliable

　　电脑靠不住，人更靠不住。靠人维护的所有系统当然也靠不住。

　　If you can't understand it, it is intuitively obvious

　　如果你没法理解一件事，说明这件事在直觉上是显而易见的。

　　In designing any type of construction, no overall dimension can be totaled correctly after 4:30 p.m. on Friday. The correct total will become self-evident at 8:15 a.m. on Monday

　　不管任何建筑设计，大样图是不会在周五下午四点半以后校正合成的。周一早上八点十五分以前它会自动校正合成。

　　The only perfect science is hind-sight

　　仅有的完美的科学就是马后炮。

　　If it's not in the computer, it doesn't exist

　　对于今天来说，如果不存在电脑里的，那就是不存在的。

　　When all else fails, read the instructions

　　怎么也搞不定的话，看一看操作说明吧。

　　Any instrument when dropped will roll into the least accessible corner

　　工具总是掉在那些不容易捡的角落里。

　　-- 摘录：墨菲科技法则 三

　　Any simple theory will be worded in the most complicated way

　　任何简单的理论均会给予最复杂的文字表述。

　　A difficult task will be halted near completion by one tiny, previously insignificant detail

　　一项任务在完成前会由于一个微小的先前曾经是微不足道的细节而中断。

　　The remaining work to finish in order to reach your goal increases as the deadline approaches

　　离截止日期越近，为达到目标而需完成的工作越来越多。

　　Don't fix something that ain't broke, 'cause you'll break it and you still can't fix it

　　别修理那些还没停工的家伙，不然的话你会把它整停工了而且还修不好。

　　If you are not thoroughly confused, you have not been thoroughly informed

　　如果你还没彻底糊涂的话，说明你还没获取足够的信息。

　　Never trust modern technology. Trust it only when it is old technology

　　千万别信最新科技。得等它有点岁数了。

　　The most ominous phrase in science: "_Uh_-oh . . ."

　　最不吉利的科技短语就是，‘啊呀。。。’

　　It is simple to make something complex, and complex to make it simple

　　把事情搞复杂简单，把事情搞简单复杂。

　　A man with one watch is certain about time. A man with two watches isn't

　　一个人有一只表的时候他可以确定时间。如果有两只的话就难办了。

　　The more knowledge you gained, the less certain you are of it

　　     知道的越多越吃不准。