趣味英语 Jokes(笑话)

"Please God....\"

   
John likes chocolates very much,but his mother never gives him any,because they are bad for his teeth,she thinks.But John has a very nice grandfather.

   
The old man loves his grandson very much,and sometimes he rings John chocolates when he comes to visit him.Then his mother lets him eat them,because she wants to make the old man happy.
  One evening,a few days before John's seventh birthday,he was saying his prayers in his bedroom before he went to bed."Please,God,"he shouted."Make them buy me a big box ofchocolates for my birthday on Saturday." His mother was in the kitchen,but she heardthe small boy shouting and went into his room quickly.
  " Why are you shouting,John?"she asked."God can hear you when you talk quietly."
  "I know,"answered the boy with a smile."But Grandfather is in the next room,he can"t hear."
  译文:
        “上帝呀，请……”
  约翰非常喜欢巧克力，但他的妈妈从不给他吃，因为她觉得巧克力对牙齿是有害的。而约翰有个非常好的外祖父，他非常疼爱这个外孙子，有时候，他来看外孙时，便给他带来一些巧克力，这时，妈妈允许他吃，因为她想使老人高兴。
  在约翰7岁生日的前几天的一个晚上，睡觉前他在他的卧室里祈祷着，“上帝，请他们为我星期六的生日给我买一大盒巧克力。”他大声喊到。
  妈妈在厨房里，但他听到了约翰的喊声，她快步来到他的房间。“约翰，为什么大声的叫喊？上帝在你静静地祈祷中才能听见你的话。”
  “我懂，”男孩面带微笑的回答道“外祖父在隔壁的房间里，他听不见。”

                                   "Suit me"
    Tommy came thundering down the stairs,much to his father's annoyance.
  "Tommy."he called."How many more times do I have to tell you to come down those stairs quietly!Now,go bask to upstairs and come down like a civilized human being.
    "There was a silence,and Tommy reappeared in the front room.
    "That's better."said his father."Now in the future will you always come down the stairs like that?"
    Suits me."said Tommy."I slid down the banister."
  译文：
            “正合我意”
    汤米下楼的声如打雷一般，这使得爸爸很恼火。
  “汤米，”他喊道。“我还得必须告诉你多少次，要悄悄地走下楼梯！现在返回楼去，然后像个文明人那样走下楼来。”
    安静了片刻之后，烫米又走进屋子里。
  “这就好多了。”他的父亲说。“那么今后你能总是那样下楼吗？”
  “正合我意。”烫米说。“我是从楼梯扶手上滑下来的。”Give me an apple --quick.        Peter came rushing into his dad.
  “Dad,”he puffed.“Is it true that an apple a day can keep the doctor away?”
  “That's what they said.”said his dad.
“Well,give me an apple--quick,I've just broken the doctor's window.”
  注：puff喘息
译文：      给我一个苹果-—快
    彼得急匆匆地跑到他父亲跟前。“爸爸”他喘着气说，“每天吃一个苹果能使医生离的远远的，这是真的吗？”
  “人们是这么说的。”他父亲说。
  “那好，给我一个苹果—快，我刚刚打破了医生家的窗户。”