as the night goes by (by sidewinder at All poetry)

as the night goes by
pain felt deep within this heart of mine
while some suffer
never knowing where their next meals come from
lying cold  on the street while a piece of cardboard is their bed
reaching...
only wanting to survive
crying tears within their hearts
mumbling whispers
wondering why?
can life be this difficult?
prayers whispered
but somehow there is no pronounced answer
dreams shattered upon the night
just another day of getting by
and one has to ask themselves...
why?
can anyone tell me?
whisper some hope
as the night goes by
Please tell me what you think
Your verdict: , Your review: (Check spelling) (Show rich text buttons) (Line numbers) Since your text contains rich formatting, add
where you want a newline (or use the rich editor).
Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
Applaud: noCost: 0 free left 0 points, You have ()

Pleaselogin orregister to comment.
Registration is required because of issues with spam. It is fast and free! This author would LOVE to get a comment from you, please join!
Comments
1 - 30 of 82     123 next >  (show all)
Comment added. You earned points! Comments over 100 letters long (this was ) are eligible for points, which you can use to feature your work.
right now
Adding your comment:

aurora13
4 hours ago

Edit |Reply
loved the lines "whisper some hope as the night goes by"; and I did like the flow of the poem, seems like live array of thoughts flowing through mind... "crying tears within their hearts" "mumbling whispers" .... they don‘t seem to be saying it out loud or demanding anything ... just silent sobs trying to understand ....
good imagery, excellent sensitive piece....

Tyger
10 hours ago

Edit |Reply
This is less a poem, more a questioning of life‘s cruelty.
Fair questions, though.

I Scream Silence
11 hours ago
Edit |Reply
This poem was good, it felt real,if that makes any sense

Dove
1 day ago

Edit |Reply
Whispering prayers... Those words are very powerful indeed. Sometimes I know we want the answers to our prayers right then, and to our dismay, they do not come but years later. Then we understand, it was a prayer "out of time". A wonderful poem here, I enjoyed
Rompf
1 day ago

Edit |Reply
nice poem!!!!!! I loved it!!!!
can you check out mine I am still a noob for poetry... so give constructive critisis
KittyXMacabre
2 days ago
Edit |Reply
this is so powerful, can really relate

xbyebyebeauty
2 days ago

Edit |Reply
I really really really liked this..the ending was perfect, and the message behind this piece was clear.
I just did some research on poverty in the united states and Its an awful thing.
Most people really should consider themselves lucky.

Shamanicmusings
2 days ago

Edit |Reply
This is a sign of the times.It reminds me of cold City days where you see homeless people huddled anywhere undercover, to escape the bitter wind and rain.
You write from your heart, that I can tell. I am a lover of rhyme and metre,but good poetry is what it is, and yours has got my attention.

cleverlynamed1
2 days ago
Edit |Reply
Very....capturing....
I like the style you use in your line breaks. It really drives home a point.

TexasMomma
December 10

Edit |Reply
very intense piece and very heartfelt...I really enjoyed reading this poem..it makes you think about others and what they go through! great job...keep up the great work
Crimsonblurr
December 10

Edit |Reply
deep
very deep, shows great emotion. Reminds me of hard times and struggles. Excelent poem.

Beautifully Chaotic
December 10

Edit |Reply
its sad to think this is actaully how out society is today. you captured it with such emotion. i really love this poem,Bill. you did an amazing job yet again.

sewasham
December 9

Edit |Reply
You painted a very vivid picture of the sad state of our society Bill. Makes one stop and think. Great job. Take care and Have fun. Steve

lilbexyboo
December 9
Edit |Reply
So moving. And really makes you appriciate the luxuries.

debilynn
December 9

Edit |Reply
written in such profound depth of sadness, compassion, and heartfelt. it really makes one stop and think and count my blessings. thank you for sharing this. keep writing! God bless you always

BabyGurlz
December 9
Edit |Reply
i love this poem reminds me of tha streets at least for me anyways great write

AliceinPoetryLand
December 9

Edit |Reply
This is such a thought provoking piece and I don‘t have any answers either. A piece full of such sad and heatbreaking imagery. I do know that this situation has to change. There is no equality in our world.
We need to help and share whenever we can.
Thank you so much for sharing. I am afraid these comments seem rather trite, but I honestly don‘t know.
Gaylene

Mike Howes
December 8

Edit |Reply
To each life a path is given, and obstacles along the way make the journey treachorous at times. It is the ones who have the strength to climb over, and reach the other side, carrying on the path they are given. We can be a guide by giving as little or as much as needed to assist them. we never know when we may stumble and need guidance or assistance.
Only we can hold out a hand of friendship, it is up to them to take it and be strong enough to accept without feeling guilty or seeing it as charity. rather than just the hand of hope to aid them on there way.
great write Bill. compassionate and heartfelt words.

tomisb
December 8

Edit |Reply
Having lived in my car and hidden in librarys from the cold. Having had to admit that I couldn‘t face the next day if it involved any contention anymore pain. I can‘t tell you why. I survived cause my friends wouldn‘t let me fall farther down to the street in my grief. I can tell you it is the difference between a hand of a friend and the last cold shoulder that keeps you from the street.
I don‘t talk about it much. No need to. Most people give you their pity or emotional baggage and that is crap I don‘t need. Some get there cause they are addicted or crazy and some of us cause our emotional support system collapsed. Some get there cause of injury and loss of work. What ever the reason, you do what you have to do to survive.
nuff said.
Peace & Light
Tom B.

x from the ashes x
December 8

Edit |Reply
wow, what compassion and generosity i find in you and i dont even know you. this is a very well written poem that speaks of the tragedy of homelessness in a way that made me tear up, you have a way with words that just melts me. its so heartfelt and honest. and your heart is so perfectly pure too. its in the right place. you are a very kind person. and i admire your writing and your heart!

x from the ashes x
ecrivain01
December 8

Edit |Reply
Good job here ...
but this needs to be changed:
and one has to ask themselves... (but they must ask themselves why?)
why?
the tenses must agree. Otherwise, I see nothing you could, or should change.
You are, of course, correct in your interpretation of the premise you‘ve chosen. Being homeless is no bed of roses. Most people don‘t even think about the homeless, so you‘re already head and shoulders above the majority. Maybe a change of administration in ‘08 will change things, but I wonder if even that will help much.
The biggest problem with being homeless is that most homeless people don‘t have the skills to find and keep a good job, so they are screwed from the start. One of the biggest problems with kids today is that they don‘t realize how lucky them are to have a school system where they can learn the skills they need to survive in the real world. Far too many of them waste their lives needlessly just because they don‘t have sense enough to figure that out.

Imperfezione Bella
December 8

Edit |Reply
Life certainly can be this difficult, if not worse.  Your words certainly inspire hopeful whispers. Beautiful and compassionate penning.
Bella

Voulpe
December 8

Edit |Reply
9
Wow! You hit it here. We are all really a heartbeat from being on the street. It has happened to a close froend of mine.

Salt Therapy
December 8

Edit |Reply
Wow Bill, this has a lot of depth. I love how you portrayed your imagery so well. A difficult question yes, but one that can be left unanswered. I‘m thinking more of the atmosphere rather than asking myself something that may not need answering. Great job! I love it. ~ Kerri

Celticpoet
December 8

Edit |Reply
Good question!
This write tells me that something has inspired you to put pen to paper on behalf of those who appear to be less fortunate...yet at times I feel that many of them are there through their own choice...there will of course always be some that are indeed genuine cases of need..but not all!...however you have expressed your sentiments well in this write and posed a genuine question which for many will be difficult to answer..regards Dan

poet2angels
December 7

Edit |Reply
Such a beautiful write of compassion and reality...
I love poetry that has heart, and this does
Excellent!
Lynda

jenelda
December 7

Edit |Reply
Dear Bill,
Unfortunately this happens far to frequent in every country.Whole families forced out of their home, no money, nowhere to go.
You have written a very emotional poem my dear Friend.
It‘s so sad to think of all the homeless souls living outside in all sorts of weather and danger.
Love Jen.XOXO
denika
December 7

Edit |Reply
this is a really emotional piece of work.. i know that there is alot of different choices out there.. and you wrote about one that is hardly touched when it comes to writing poetry..
Denika

zhanis wolf
December 7
Edit |Reply
kind of sad. i like it though. you word things excellently. wonderful poem.

Mephitic ID Synergy
December 7

Edit |Reply
It just doesn‘t really connect to anything particular about the experience of being homeless. It describes things we all know that some homeless people experience without ever really getting into or making us feel what the experience of homelessness is. The most interesting line, to me, was "dreams shattered upon the night." It‘s an abstract line, but I can imagine the story of a prostitute who has been homeless for a week. She has saved a fabrige egg that she inherited from her mother when she died, and she carries it with her every night. It is her last link to a world of order. And she figures, if things get too bad, she can sell it and get herself into some temporary housing and get a job again. But then, as she is getting out of a john‘s car, the area pimp seizes her arm and begins to harass her. In the confrontation, the egg slips out of the purse, shattering on the sidewalk. As the pimp is dragging her off to his hideaway, where she will take heroin for the first time, we see the shards of the egg gleaming neon lights, "dreams shattered upon the night." Something like that. Maybe that‘s the sort of area you should go with it, so it would have more insight and more impact
1 - 30 of 82     123 next >  (show all)
right now

bysidewinder
On Nov 28 2:30 PM
Last login right now
© Billy E. Whitehorn, All rights reserved
33views, 126 old views, 138 visitor views, 27 lines. Age 52
67 old applause, 113 applause
Categories:Sad,Personal,Thoughts. Reward
• Online!Invite author to chat
→ View Options
Next by sidewinderHide backgroundPrint
Sign up for FREE
A free account is required to comment and participate. It‘s fast and free!
Already a member?
Name
Password
About Allpoetry
Where friends share poetry - get feedback & publish free today.
→Learn more Online: 1046
Moderators - addticket
Amunet Wolfbane,catz,Maatkara
Greeters - askquestion
AliceinPoetryLand,Heavenly Angel,JeannieD,lileaglefeatherprcs
Gold members→
All-About-Annie
Angel w o Wings
ArtFullyMe
AsIThink
atheist
azlyn
BeforeTomorrowComes
Callie-Copter
Carly Pop
Cat
CollectiveWisdom
debilynn
DestinationDarkness
Ellis
forty-one
Francine1991
Frogzter
Hakumei
Immortal Obscurity
its me Marcos
jamiedoring
Jeremy0826
Jessi.Belle
Keyser Soze
lavraibetenoire
Levesta
Mackay
MansonIsOnFire
MikeyDoll
MJ Donnelly
MoJo Warrior
Never Fall in Love
Nicky-lodeon
OhNoChastity
pearl-dragon
penman
PoovyLou
PrabhuDayal Khattar
RavingRabid
Roaddog Wolf
Rompf
Rose Dark Thorn
Starz of Heaven
TayBug007
tocoolwithu
Tome16
Vale Of Shadows
Vampyre Bloodlust
Vampyre Lord Onyx
weinreich writings
Willie66Boy
xeniaisme12
Zahhar
502 visitors →Show all online


Profanity Filter
We use an optional filter to protect children and people offended by profanity. Words on this page were replaced with *bunny*. Configure it in your profile.
PleaseSupport Allpoetry
Quick comment: (as below)