修复人际关系方法之---同情心

来源:百度文库 编辑:神马文学网 时间:2024/03/29 08:59:23
来源Restoring Relationships: Sympathize
译者greengable
Restoring Relationships: Sympathize

修复人际关系方法之---同情心

Monday February 23 2009 12:00 AM

2009年2月23日,星期一,12:00

Posted by Rick Warren

发表人:瑞克华伦

“A man's wisdom gives him patience; it is to his glory to overlook an offense” (Prov. 19:11 NIV).

一个人的智慧赋予他耐心;宽恕他人的过失将使他充满人性的光辉。(箴言19:11)

The third biblical step toward restoring a relationship is to sympathize with the other person’s feelings.

圣经中所提到的修复人际关系的第三个步骤,是同情他人的感受。

Use your ears more than your mouth. Before attempting to solve any disagreement you must first listen to the other’s feelings. Paul advised, "Look out for one another's interests, not just for your own." (Philip. 2:4 TEV) The phrase "look out for" is the Greek word skopos, from which we form our words telescope and microscope. It means pay close attention! Focus on their feelings, not the facts. Begin with sympathy, not solutions.

多用你的耳,而非你的嘴。在你试图解决任何分歧时,首先要倾听他人的感受。保罗曾说:“要寻找出他人的利益,而非仅仅为自己”(菲利普2:4).短语“寻找出”是以希腊语为翻译目的,从中我们可以形成我们话语的望远镜和显微镜,即认真倾听。关注他们的感受,而非关注事实如何。要带着同情与怜悯,而不是一个解决问题的方案展开与人的交际。

Don't try to talk people out of how they feel at first. Just listen and let them unload emotionally without being defensive. Nod that you understand even when you don't agree. Feelings are not always true or logical. In fact, resentment makes us act and think in foolish ways. David admitted, "When my thoughts were bitter and my feelings were hurt, I was as stupid as an animal" (Psalm 73:21-22 TEV). We all act beastly when hurt.

不要试图说服他人他人放弃他们的第一感受。去倾听,让他们放下内心自我保护防御性从而已得到感情上的解脱。即使你并不赞同对方的说法,但依旧要点头表示认同。感觉并不总是正确或是具有逻辑性的。事实上,怨恨使我们以愚蠢的方式去行动和思考问题。戴维说过:“当我的思想充满仇恨或是感情受到伤害时,我就像一只牲畜般愚蠢”(诗篇73:21-22)。当我们受到伤害时,我们的行为都很野蛮。

In contrast, the Bible says that patience comes from wisdom (Prov. 19:11 NIV), and wisdom comes from hearing the perspective of others.

相反地,圣经说耐心来源于智慧(箴言19:11),而智慧则来源于倾听他人的观点。

To listen is to say, "I value your opinion, I care about our relationship, and you matter to me." The cliché is true: People don't care what we know until they know we care.

去倾听,就是在传达这样的信息:“我重视你的观点,我在乎我们的关系,你对我很重要。”这个老旧的说法是正确的:人们不会在乎我们是否了解,除非他们知道我们在乎他们。

To restore fellowship "we must bear the 'burden' of being considerate of the doubts and fears of others ... Let's please the other fellow, not ourselves, and do what is for his good" (Rom. 15:2 LB). It is a sacrifice to patiently absorb the anger of others, especially if it's unfounded.

若想修复与他人的关系“我们必须承担起替他人着想他们的疑惑与恐惧的'重担',让我们去使他人,而不是我们自己,感到快乐,并做有益于他人的事情”(罗马书15:2)耐心地探查出他人的怨恨是一种神圣的贡献,特别是在这种怨恨尚未被发觉时。

But remember, this is what Jesus did for you. He endured unfounded, malicious anger in order to save you. "Christ did not indulge his own feelings ... as scripture says: The insults of those who insult you fall on me" (Rom. 15:3 NJB).

但请记住,这是耶稣为你所做的。他为了拯救你而承受了你尚未展露的,恶毒的怨恨。“基督徒不放纵自己的感情....正如圣经所说:那些来自侮辱你的人的而言都将由我承受”(罗马书15:3)。

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