神马文学网生而为赢
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Born to Win
生而为赢
by Muriel James and Dorothy Jongeward
You cannot teach a man anything. You can only help him discover it within himself.
--Galileo
你无法教会一个人任何事，你只能帮助他自己去发现。
--伽利略
"WINNERS AND LOSERS"
“胜利者与失败者”
Each human being is born as something new, something that never existed before. He is born with what he needs to win at life. Each person in his own way can see, hear, touch, taste, and think for himself. Each has his unique potentials -- his capabilities and limitations. Each can be a significant, thinking, aware, and creatively productive person in his own right -- a winner.
每个人从出生的那一刻起，就作为一个崭新的、从未存在过的面目出现。他生而具备了所有使他能在生活中取得胜利的一切。每个人都能够以他自有的独特方式去观察，倾听，触摸，品尝和思考。每个人都拥有其独一无二的潜质 -- 他的才能和他的局限。每个人都可行使其自己的权利，成为一个功勋卓著、善于思考、充满觉悟和创新性的生产能力的人 -- 一位胜利者。
The words "winner" and "loser" have many meanings. When we refer to a person as a winner, we do not mean one who beats the other guy by winning over him and making him lose. To us, a winner is one who responds authentically by being credible, trustworthy, responsive, and genuine, both as an individual and as a member of a society. A loser is one who fails to correspond authentically. Mastin Buber expresses this idea as he retells an old story of a rabbi who on his death bed sees himself as a loser. The rabbi laments that, in the world to come, he will not be asked why he wasn‘t Moses, he will be asked why he wasn‘t himself.
“胜利者”和“失败者”这两个词拥有很多含义。当我们称一个人为胜利者时，并不是指那类借助胜过对方并致使对方失败而打倒他人的人。对我们而言，胜利者是那种无论作为个人还是社会成员，都能以一种可信任的，值得信赖的，负责任和真诚的态度为人处世的人。失败者则指那些未能做到诚实可靠的人。Mastin Buber 在他转述一则老故事时表达了这一观点。那是一个关于一位拉比（译者注: 希伯来文，含导师和精神领袖之意）在临死前将自己视为失败者的故事，故事中的拉比哀叹说：在即将到来的世界里，他将不会被询问他为何没有成为摩西（译者注: 旧约圣经中希伯来人的先知，曾引领以色列人走出埃及，史称‘出埃及事’），而会被质问他为何没有成为他自己。
Few people are one hundred percent winners or one hundred percent losers, It‘s a matter of degree. However, once a person is on the road to being a winner, his chances are greater for becoming even more so. This book is intended to facilitate the journey.
百分之百的胜利者和百分之百的失败者都是罕见的，问题在于程度的不同。尽管如此，一旦一个人踏上了胜利者的道路，他成为胜利者的机会将变得更大，这部专著的目的就在于方便这段胜利者的旅途。
"WINNERS"
“胜利者”
Winners have different potentials , Achievement is not the most important thing. Authenticity is. the authentic person experiences the reality of himself by knowing himself, being himself, and becoming a credible, responsive person. He actualizes his own unprecedented uiqueness and appreciates the uniqueness of others. (The common pronoun "he" refers to person of either sex except when "she" is definately applicable.)
胜利者们拥有不同的潜质，成就并非最重要的东西，真正重要的是真诚。真诚的人通过了解自己，做回自己并成为一个诚实可靠且负有责任心的人而体验到真实的自我。他不仅实现自身的史无前例的独特品质，还去欣赏其他人的独特品质（这里的‘他’指代任何性别的人，除非是在明确需要使用‘她’的场合）。
A winner is not afraid to do his own thinking and to use his own knowledge. He can separate facts from opinion and doesn‘t pretend to have all the answers. He listens to others, evaluates what they say, but comes to his own conclusions. While he can admire and respect other people, he is not totally defined, bound, or awed by them.
胜利者不会为做出自己的思考和运用自己的知识而感到不安。他能够区分事实和观点，而且并不装作了解所有答案。他会倾听别人，评价他们所说的话，但最终却会得出自己的结论。他能够赞赏和尊敬其他人，但又不会对那些人敬畏到固步自封。
A winner can be spontaneous. He does not have to respond in predetermined, rigid ways. He can change his plans when the situation calls for it. A winner has a zest for life. He enjoys work, play, food, other people, and the world of nature. Without guilt he enjoys his own accomplishments. Without envy he enjoys the accomplishments of others.
胜利者可能是自发的，他们用不着以一种预先规定的刻板的方式行动，能在形势需要时改变自己的计划。胜利者对生活别有兴味，他能够享受工作，娱乐，美食，他人和整个自然界。他能问心无愧地欣赏自己的成就，也能不带妒忌地欣赏他人的成就。
Although a winner can freely enjoy himself, he can also postpone enjoyment. He can discipline himself in the present to enhance his enjoyment in the future. He is not afraid to go after what he wants but does so in appropriate ways. He does not get his security by controlling other.
尽管胜利者能够自由地享受自我，他也能推迟享乐。为了加强未来的快乐，他可以在当前约束自己。他并不害怕追求他想要的东西，但会以合适的方式去追求。此外，他不会通过控制别人来获取自己的安全感。
A winner cares about the world and its peoples. He is not isolated from the general problems of society. He is concerned, compassionate and committed to improving the quality of life. Even in the face of national and international adversity, he does not see himself as totally powerless. He does what he can to make the world a better place.
胜利者关注整个世界和世界上的所有人，他不会与普遍性的社会问题相隔绝。他关注社会，充满同情心并且致力于改善生活的质量。即使面对民族乃至国际的灾祸，也不会视自己为无能为力的人，而是会尽自己所能让世界变得更美好。
"LOSERS"
“失败者”
Although people are born to win, they are also born helpless and totally dependent on their environment. Winners successfully make the transition from total helplessness to independence, and then to interdependence. Losers do not. Somewhere along the line they begin to avoid becoming self-responsible.
尽管人们生来就可以取得胜利，他们在初生之时依然是无助的，完全依赖着其周边的环境。胜利者能够成功地从完全的无助和依赖逐渐走向独立，并进一步走向互惠的依赖，失败者却不然，他们会在从事一件事的中途某处开始逃避自我，不肯变为对自己负责的人。
As we have noted, few people are total winners or losers. Most of them are winners in some areas of their lives and losers in others. Their winning or losing is influenced by what happens to them in childhood.
正如我们已经提到过的，很少有人是完全的胜利者或失败者，他们中大多数是自己生活中部分领域的胜利者和其它领域的失败者，他们的成败受童年时代发生在他们身上的事情所影响。
A lack of response to dependency needs, poor nutrition, brutality, unhappy relationships, disease, continuing disappointments, inadequate physical care, and traumatic events are among the many experiences that contribute to making people losers. Such experiences interrupt, deter, or prevent the normal progess toward autonomy and self-actualization. To cope with negative experiences a child learns to manipulate himself and others. These manipulative techniques are hard to give up later in life and often become set patterns. A winner works to shed them. A loser hangs on to them.
渴望依靠的需要没有得到足够的回应，营养的缺乏，粗暴的行为，不愉快的关系，疾病，持续的情绪低落，不充足的身体关爱和创伤性的事件是使人成为失败者的诸多体验中的一部分。这样的体验或打断，或威慑，或阻挠了人们走向自治和自我实现的过程。为了应对这些负面的体验，儿童学会了操纵自己和他人，这种操纵技巧在日后的生活中很难被戒除，通常会成为既定的行为模式。胜利者会努力卸下它们，失败者却会抓住它们不放。
A loser represses his capacity to express spontaneously and appropriately his full range of possible behavior. He may be unaware of other options for his life if the path he chooses goes nowhere. He is afraid to try new things. He maintains his own status quo. He is a repeater. He repeats not only his own mistakes, he often repeats those of his family and culture.
失败者抑制自己的能力，不让它们自发而适当地表达出自己全部可能的行为。若他选择的生活路径走不通，他很可能意识不到其它可行的选项。他会选择安于现状，做一位重复者，不仅重复他自身的错误，还经常会重复属于他的家庭和文化圈子的错误。
A loser has difficulty giving and receiving affection. He does not enter into intimate, honest direct relationships with others. Instead, he tries to manipulate them into living up to his expectations and channels his energies into living up to their expectations.
失败者难以给予和接受感情，他不肯与别人形成亲密而真诚的直接关系，相反他会尝试操纵他们，让他们变得符合自己的期望，同时将自己的精力投注在努力符合他们的期望的过程中。
When a person wants to discover and change his "losing streak," when he wants to become more like the winner he was born to be, he can use gestalt-type experiments and transactional analysis to make change happen. These are two new exciting, psychological approaches to human problems. The first was given new life by Dr. Frederick Perls; the second was developed by Dr. Eric Berne.
当一个人希望发现并改变自己的“失败倾向”时，当他希望变得更像他生来就可成就的胜利者时，他可以使用格式塔实验（译者注: 格式塔为德语中‘形成’之意，这里指形成一个有组织的整体的体验。格式塔派心理学家于 1912 年提出了心理现象理应是完整而不可分割之整体的理论）和相互作用分析来促使改变的发生。这是两种全新的，激动人心的解决人类问题的心理学手法，前者由 Frederick Perls 博士创立，后者由 Eric Berne 博士提出。
Perls was born in Germany in 1893 and left the country when Hitler came into power. Berne was born in Montreal in 1910. Both men were trained as Freudian psychoanalysts; both broke away from the use of orthodox psychoanalysis; both found their greatest popularity and acceptance in the United States.
Perls 于 1893 年生于德国，在希特勒执政后离开祖国，Berne 于 1910 年生于蒙特利尔。两人都曾被训练为弗洛伊德精神分析师，却双双与正统的精神分析方法分道扬镳，两个人都在美国得到了广泛的声誉和认可。
Gestalt therapy is not new. However, its current popularity has grown very rapidly since it was given new impetus and direction by Dr. Frederick Perls. Gestalt is a german word for which there is no exact English equivalent; it means, roughly, the forming of an organized, meaningful whole.
格式塔疗法并不是新事物。然而，其受欢迎程度却随着 Frederick Perls 博士的推动取得了快速的发展。格式塔是德语中的词汇，在英语中没有精确的对应词，它的意思大体上是：一个有组织的，有意义的整体的形成。
Perls perceives many personalities as lacking wholeness, as being fragmented. He claims people are often aware of only parts of themselves rather than of the whole self. For example, a woman may not know or want to admit that sometimes she acts like her mother; a man may not know or admit that sometimes he wants to cry like a baby.
Perls 将许多人格特征视为缺乏整体性或残破不全的，他声称人们通常仅意识到自身的一部分而非全部。举例而言，一位妇女可能不知道或不愿承认她的行事方式有时和自己的母亲很相像；一个成年男子或许不了解或不承认他有时希望像婴儿一样哭喊。
The aim of getalt therapy is to help one to become whole -- to help the person become aware of, admit to, reclaim, and integrate his fragmented parts. Integration helps a person make the transition from dependency to self-sufficiency; from authoritarian outer support to authentic inner support.
格式塔心理学的目标是帮助一个人走向完整 -- 帮助人们了解，接受，找回并重整其残破的部分。重新整合帮助一个人从依赖转向自给自足，从专断的外部支持转向真诚的内部支持。
生而为赢
by Muriel James and Dorothy Jongeward
You cannot teach a man anything. You can only help him discover it within himself.
--Galileo
你无法教会一个人任何事，你只能帮助他自己去发现。
--伽利略
"WINNERS AND LOSERS"
“胜利者与失败者”
Each human being is born as something new, something that never existed before. He is born with what he needs to win at life. Each person in his own way can see, hear, touch, taste, and think for himself. Each has his unique potentials -- his capabilities and limitations. Each can be a significant, thinking, aware, and creatively productive person in his own right -- a winner.
每个人从出生的那一刻起，就作为一个崭新的、从未存在过的面目出现。他生而具备了所有使他能在生活中取得胜利的一切。每个人都能够以他自有的独特方式去观察，倾听，触摸，品尝和思考。每个人都拥有其独一无二的潜质 -- 他的才能和他的局限。每个人都可行使其自己的权利，成为一个功勋卓著、善于思考、充满觉悟和创新性的生产能力的人 -- 一位胜利者。
The words "winner" and "loser" have many meanings. When we refer to a person as a winner, we do not mean one who beats the other guy by winning over him and making him lose. To us, a winner is one who responds authentically by being credible, trustworthy, responsive, and genuine, both as an individual and as a member of a society. A loser is one who fails to correspond authentically. Mastin Buber expresses this idea as he retells an old story of a rabbi who on his death bed sees himself as a loser. The rabbi laments that, in the world to come, he will not be asked why he wasn‘t Moses, he will be asked why he wasn‘t himself.
“胜利者”和“失败者”这两个词拥有很多含义。当我们称一个人为胜利者时，并不是指那类借助胜过对方并致使对方失败而打倒他人的人。对我们而言，胜利者是那种无论作为个人还是社会成员，都能以一种可信任的，值得信赖的，负责任和真诚的态度为人处世的人。失败者则指那些未能做到诚实可靠的人。Mastin Buber 在他转述一则老故事时表达了这一观点。那是一个关于一位拉比（译者注: 希伯来文，含导师和精神领袖之意）在临死前将自己视为失败者的故事，故事中的拉比哀叹说：在即将到来的世界里，他将不会被询问他为何没有成为摩西（译者注: 旧约圣经中希伯来人的先知，曾引领以色列人走出埃及，史称‘出埃及事’），而会被质问他为何没有成为他自己。
Few people are one hundred percent winners or one hundred percent losers, It‘s a matter of degree. However, once a person is on the road to being a winner, his chances are greater for becoming even more so. This book is intended to facilitate the journey.
百分之百的胜利者和百分之百的失败者都是罕见的，问题在于程度的不同。尽管如此，一旦一个人踏上了胜利者的道路，他成为胜利者的机会将变得更大，这部专著的目的就在于方便这段胜利者的旅途。
"WINNERS"
“胜利者”
Winners have different potentials , Achievement is not the most important thing. Authenticity is. the authentic person experiences the reality of himself by knowing himself, being himself, and becoming a credible, responsive person. He actualizes his own unprecedented uiqueness and appreciates the uniqueness of others. (The common pronoun "he" refers to person of either sex except when "she" is definately applicable.)
胜利者们拥有不同的潜质，成就并非最重要的东西，真正重要的是真诚。真诚的人通过了解自己，做回自己并成为一个诚实可靠且负有责任心的人而体验到真实的自我。他不仅实现自身的史无前例的独特品质，还去欣赏其他人的独特品质（这里的‘他’指代任何性别的人，除非是在明确需要使用‘她’的场合）。
A winner is not afraid to do his own thinking and to use his own knowledge. He can separate facts from opinion and doesn‘t pretend to have all the answers. He listens to others, evaluates what they say, but comes to his own conclusions. While he can admire and respect other people, he is not totally defined, bound, or awed by them.
胜利者不会为做出自己的思考和运用自己的知识而感到不安。他能够区分事实和观点，而且并不装作了解所有答案。他会倾听别人，评价他们所说的话，但最终却会得出自己的结论。他能够赞赏和尊敬其他人，但又不会对那些人敬畏到固步自封。
A winner can be spontaneous. He does not have to respond in predetermined, rigid ways. He can change his plans when the situation calls for it. A winner has a zest for life. He enjoys work, play, food, other people, and the world of nature. Without guilt he enjoys his own accomplishments. Without envy he enjoys the accomplishments of others.
胜利者可能是自发的，他们用不着以一种预先规定的刻板的方式行动，能在形势需要时改变自己的计划。胜利者对生活别有兴味，他能够享受工作，娱乐，美食，他人和整个自然界。他能问心无愧地欣赏自己的成就，也能不带妒忌地欣赏他人的成就。
Although a winner can freely enjoy himself, he can also postpone enjoyment. He can discipline himself in the present to enhance his enjoyment in the future. He is not afraid to go after what he wants but does so in appropriate ways. He does not get his security by controlling other.
尽管胜利者能够自由地享受自我，他也能推迟享乐。为了加强未来的快乐，他可以在当前约束自己。他并不害怕追求他想要的东西，但会以合适的方式去追求。此外，他不会通过控制别人来获取自己的安全感。
A winner cares about the world and its peoples. He is not isolated from the general problems of society. He is concerned, compassionate and committed to improving the quality of life. Even in the face of national and international adversity, he does not see himself as totally powerless. He does what he can to make the world a better place.
胜利者关注整个世界和世界上的所有人，他不会与普遍性的社会问题相隔绝。他关注社会，充满同情心并且致力于改善生活的质量。即使面对民族乃至国际的灾祸，也不会视自己为无能为力的人，而是会尽自己所能让世界变得更美好。
"LOSERS"
“失败者”
Although people are born to win, they are also born helpless and totally dependent on their environment. Winners successfully make the transition from total helplessness to independence, and then to interdependence. Losers do not. Somewhere along the line they begin to avoid becoming self-responsible.
尽管人们生来就可以取得胜利，他们在初生之时依然是无助的，完全依赖着其周边的环境。胜利者能够成功地从完全的无助和依赖逐渐走向独立，并进一步走向互惠的依赖，失败者却不然，他们会在从事一件事的中途某处开始逃避自我，不肯变为对自己负责的人。
As we have noted, few people are total winners or losers. Most of them are winners in some areas of their lives and losers in others. Their winning or losing is influenced by what happens to them in childhood.
正如我们已经提到过的，很少有人是完全的胜利者或失败者，他们中大多数是自己生活中部分领域的胜利者和其它领域的失败者，他们的成败受童年时代发生在他们身上的事情所影响。
A lack of response to dependency needs, poor nutrition, brutality, unhappy relationships, disease, continuing disappointments, inadequate physical care, and traumatic events are among the many experiences that contribute to making people losers. Such experiences interrupt, deter, or prevent the normal progess toward autonomy and self-actualization. To cope with negative experiences a child learns to manipulate himself and others. These manipulative techniques are hard to give up later in life and often become set patterns. A winner works to shed them. A loser hangs on to them.
渴望依靠的需要没有得到足够的回应，营养的缺乏，粗暴的行为，不愉快的关系，疾病，持续的情绪低落，不充足的身体关爱和创伤性的事件是使人成为失败者的诸多体验中的一部分。这样的体验或打断，或威慑，或阻挠了人们走向自治和自我实现的过程。为了应对这些负面的体验，儿童学会了操纵自己和他人，这种操纵技巧在日后的生活中很难被戒除，通常会成为既定的行为模式。胜利者会努力卸下它们，失败者却会抓住它们不放。
A loser represses his capacity to express spontaneously and appropriately his full range of possible behavior. He may be unaware of other options for his life if the path he chooses goes nowhere. He is afraid to try new things. He maintains his own status quo. He is a repeater. He repeats not only his own mistakes, he often repeats those of his family and culture.
失败者抑制自己的能力，不让它们自发而适当地表达出自己全部可能的行为。若他选择的生活路径走不通，他很可能意识不到其它可行的选项。他会选择安于现状，做一位重复者，不仅重复他自身的错误，还经常会重复属于他的家庭和文化圈子的错误。
A loser has difficulty giving and receiving affection. He does not enter into intimate, honest direct relationships with others. Instead, he tries to manipulate them into living up to his expectations and channels his energies into living up to their expectations.
失败者难以给予和接受感情，他不肯与别人形成亲密而真诚的直接关系，相反他会尝试操纵他们，让他们变得符合自己的期望，同时将自己的精力投注在努力符合他们的期望的过程中。
When a person wants to discover and change his "losing streak," when he wants to become more like the winner he was born to be, he can use gestalt-type experiments and transactional analysis to make change happen. These are two new exciting, psychological approaches to human problems. The first was given new life by Dr. Frederick Perls; the second was developed by Dr. Eric Berne.
当一个人希望发现并改变自己的“失败倾向”时，当他希望变得更像他生来就可成就的胜利者时，他可以使用格式塔实验（译者注: 格式塔为德语中‘形成’之意，这里指形成一个有组织的整体的体验。格式塔派心理学家于 1912 年提出了心理现象理应是完整而不可分割之整体的理论）和相互作用分析来促使改变的发生。这是两种全新的，激动人心的解决人类问题的心理学手法，前者由 Frederick Perls 博士创立，后者由 Eric Berne 博士提出。
Perls was born in Germany in 1893 and left the country when Hitler came into power. Berne was born in Montreal in 1910. Both men were trained as Freudian psychoanalysts; both broke away from the use of orthodox psychoanalysis; both found their greatest popularity and acceptance in the United States.
Perls 于 1893 年生于德国，在希特勒执政后离开祖国，Berne 于 1910 年生于蒙特利尔。两人都曾被训练为弗洛伊德精神分析师，却双双与正统的精神分析方法分道扬镳，两个人都在美国得到了广泛的声誉和认可。
Gestalt therapy is not new. However, its current popularity has grown very rapidly since it was given new impetus and direction by Dr. Frederick Perls. Gestalt is a german word for which there is no exact English equivalent; it means, roughly, the forming of an organized, meaningful whole.
格式塔疗法并不是新事物。然而，其受欢迎程度却随着 Frederick Perls 博士的推动取得了快速的发展。格式塔是德语中的词汇，在英语中没有精确的对应词，它的意思大体上是：一个有组织的，有意义的整体的形成。
Perls perceives many personalities as lacking wholeness, as being fragmented. He claims people are often aware of only parts of themselves rather than of the whole self. For example, a woman may not know or want to admit that sometimes she acts like her mother; a man may not know or admit that sometimes he wants to cry like a baby.
Perls 将许多人格特征视为缺乏整体性或残破不全的，他声称人们通常仅意识到自身的一部分而非全部。举例而言，一位妇女可能不知道或不愿承认她的行事方式有时和自己的母亲很相像；一个成年男子或许不了解或不承认他有时希望像婴儿一样哭喊。
The aim of getalt therapy is to help one to become whole -- to help the person become aware of, admit to, reclaim, and integrate his fragmented parts. Integration helps a person make the transition from dependency to self-sufficiency; from authoritarian outer support to authentic inner support.
格式塔心理学的目标是帮助一个人走向完整 -- 帮助人们了解，接受，找回并重整其残破的部分。重新整合帮助一个人从依赖转向自给自足，从专断的外部支持转向真诚的内部支持。