妈妈想对你说，菡儿

时尚双语:李开复致女儿的一封信(图)

2009-10-19 11:10:00　来源: 台海网(厦门)　跟贴 38 条 手机看新闻

时尚双语:李开复致女儿的一封信

当我们开车驶出哥伦比亚大学的时候，我想写一封信给你，告诉你盘旋在我脑中的想法。

As we drove off from Columbia, I wanted to write a letter to you to tell you all that is on my mind.

首先，我想告诉你我们为你感到特别骄傲。进入哥伦比亚大学证明你是一个全面发展的优秀学生，你的学业、艺术和社交技能最近都有卓越的表现，无论是你高中微积分第一名，时尚的设计，绘制的球鞋，还是在“模拟联合国”的演说，你毫无疑问已经是一个多才多艺的女孩。你的父母为你感到骄傲，你也应该像我们一样为自己感到自豪。

First, I want to tell you how proud we are. Getting into Columbiais a real testament of what a great well-rounded studentyou are.Your academic, artistic, and social skills have truly blossomed in the last few years. Whether it is getting the highestgrade in Calculus, completing your elegant fashion design,successfully selling your painted running shoes, or becoming one of the toporators in Model United Nations, you have become a talentedand accomplished young woman. You should be as proud of yourself asweare.

女儿读大学前的全家福

我会永远记得第一次将你抱在臂弯的那一刻，一种新鲜激动的感觉瞬间触动了我的心，那是一种永远让我陶醉的感觉，就是那种将我们的一生都联结在一起的“父女情结”。我也常常想起我唱着催眠曲轻摇你入睡，当我把你放下的时候，常常觉得既解脱又惋惜，一方面我想，她终于睡着了！另一方面，我又多么希望自己可以多抱你一会儿。我还记得带你到运动场，看着你玩得那么开心，你是那样可爱，所有人都非常爱你。

I will always remr the first moment I held you in my arms. I felt a tingling sensation that directly touched my heart. It was an intoxicating feeling I will always have. It must be that“father-daughter connection” which will bind us for life. I will always remr singing you lullaby while I rocked you to sleep.When I put you down, it was always with both relief (she finallyfellasleep!) and regret (wishing I could hold you longer). And I will always remr taking you to the playground, and watching you having so much fun. You were so cute and adorable, and that is why everybody loved you so.

你不但长得可爱，而且是个特别乖巧的孩子。你从不吵闹、为人着想，既听话又有礼貌。当你三岁我们建房子的时候，每个周末十多个小时你都静静地跟着我们去运建筑材料，三餐在车上吃着汉堡，唱着儿歌，唱累了就睡觉，一点都不娇气不抱怨。你去上周日的中文学习班时，尽管一点也不觉得有趣，却依然很努力。我们做父母的能有像你这样的女儿真的感到非常幸运。

You have been a great kid ever since you were born, always quiet,empathetic, attentive, and well-mannered. You were three when we built our house. I remr you quietly followed us every weekend for more than ten hours a day to get building supplies. You put up with that boring period without a fuss, happily ate hamburgers everymeal in the car, sang with Barney until you fell asleep. When you went to Sunday Chinese school, you studied hard even though it was no fun for you. I cannot believe how lucky we are as parents to have a daughter like you.

你也是个很好的姐姐。虽然你们姐妹以前也会打架，但是长大后，你们真的成为了好朋友。妹妹很爱你，很喜欢逗你笑，她把你当成她的榜样看待。我们开车离开哥大后，她非常想你，我知道你也很想她。世界上最宝贵的就是家人。和父母一样，妹妹就是你最可以信任的人。随着年龄的增长，你们姐妹之间的情谊不变，你们互相照应，彼此关心，这就是我最希望见到的事情了。在你的大学四年，有空时你一定要常常跟妹妹视频聊聊天，写写电子邮件。

You have been an excellent elder sister. Even though you two had your share of fights, the last few years you have become best friends. Your sister loves you so much, and she loves to make you laugh. She looks up to you, and sees you as her role model. As you saw when we departed, she misses you so much. And I know that you miss her just as much. There is nothing like family, and other than your parents, your sister is the one person who you can trust and confide in. She will be the one to take care of you, and the one you must take care of. There is nothing we wish more than that your sisterhood will continue to bond as you grow older, and that you will take care of each other throughout your lives. For the nextfour years, do have a short video chat with her every few days,and do email her when you have a chance.

大学将是你人生最重要的时光，在大学里你会发现学习的真谛。你以前经常会问到“这个课程有什么用”，这是个好问题，但是我希望你理解：“教育的真谛就是当你忘记一切所学到的东西之后所剩下的东西。”我的意思是，最重要的不是你学到的具体的知识，而是你学习新事物和解决新问题的能力。这才是大学学习的真正意义——这将是你从被动学习转向自主学习的阶段，之后你会变成一个很好的自学者。所以，即便你所学的不是生活里所急需的，也要认真看待大学里的每一门功课，就算学习的技能你会忘记，学习的能力是你将受用终身的。

College will be the most important years in your life. It is in college that you will truly discover what learning is about.You often question “what good is this course”. I encourage you to be in quisitive, but I also want to tell you : “education is what you have left after all that is taught is forgotten”. What I mean by that is the materials taught isn’t as important as you gaining the ability to learn a new subject, and the ability to analyze  a new problem. That is really what learning in college is about –thiswill be the period where you go from teacher-taughttomaster-inspired, after which you must become self-learner. So do take each subject seriously, and even if what you learn isn’t critical for your life, the skills of learning will be some thing you cherish forever.

不要被教条所束缚，任何问题都没有一个唯一的简单的答案。还记得当我帮助你高中的辩论课程时，我总是让你站在你不认可的那一方来辩论吗？我这么做的理由就是希望你能够理解：看待一个问题不应该非黑即白，而是有很多方法和角度。当你意识到这点的时候，你就会成为一个很好的解决问题者。这就是“批判的思维”——你的一生都会需要的最重要的思考方式，这也意味着你还需要包容和支持不同于你的其他观点。我永远记得我去找我的博士导师提出了一个新论题，他告诉我：“我不同意你，但我支持你。”多年后，我认识到这不仅仅是包容，而是一种批判式思考，更是令人折服的领导风格，现在这也变成了我的一部分。我希望这也能成为你的一部分。

Do not fall into the trap of dogma. There is no single simple answer to any question. Remr during your high school debate class,I always asked you to take on the side that you don’t believe in? I did that for a reason -- things rarely “black and white”, andthereare always many ways to look at a problem. You will become abetterproblem solver if you recognized that. This is called“criticalthinking”, and it is the most important thinking skill you need for your life. This also means you need to become tolerantand supportive of others. I will always remr when I went to my Ph.D.advisor and proposed a new thesis topic. He said “I don't agree with you, but I’ll support you.” After the years, I have learned this isn’t just flexibility, it is encouragement of critical thinking, and an empowering style of leadership, and it has become a part of me. I hope it will become a part of you too.

在大学里你要追随自己的激情和兴趣，选你感兴趣的课程，不要困扰于别人怎么说或怎么想。史蒂夫·乔布斯曾经说过，在大学里你的热情会创造出很多点，在你随后的生命中你会把这些点串联起来。在他著名的斯坦福毕业典礼演讲中，他举了一个很好的例子：他在大学里修了看似毫无用处的书法，而十年后，这成了苹果Macintosh里漂亮字库的基础，而因为Macintosh有这么好的字库，才带来了桌面出版和今天的办公软件（例如微软Office）。他对书法的探索就是一个点，而苹果Macintosh把多个点联结成了一条线。所以不要太担心将来你要做什么样的工作，也不要太急功近利。假如你喜欢日语或韩语，就去学吧，尽管你的爸爸曾说过那没什么用：）尽兴地选择你的点吧，要有信念有一天机缘来临时，你会找到自己的人生使命，画出一条美丽的曲线。

Follow your passion in college. Take courses you think you will enjoy. Don’t be trapped in what others think or say. SteveJobs says when you are in college, your passion will create many dots,and later in your life you will connect them. In his great speech given at Stanford commencement , he gave the great example where he took calligraphy, and a decade later, it became the basisof the beautiful Macintosh fonts, which later ignited desk top publishing,and brought wonderful tools like Microsoft Word to ourlives. His expedition into calligraphy was a dot, and the Macintosh became the connecting line. So don’t worry too much about what job you will have, and don’t be too utilitarian, and if you likeJapanese orKorean, go for it, even if your dad thinks “it’s not useful.” ：）Enjoy picking your dots, and be assured one day you will find your calling, and connect a beautiful curve through the dots.

在功课上要尽力，但不要给自己太多压力。你妈妈和我在成绩上对你没什么要求，只要你能顺利毕业并在这四年里学到了些东西，我们就会很高兴了。即便你毕业时没有获得优异的成绩，你的哥伦比亚学位也将带你走得很远。所以别给自己压力。在你高中生活的最后几个月，因为压力比较小，大学申请也结束了，你过得很开心，但是在最近的几个星期，你好像开始紧张起来。（你注意到你紧张时会咬指甲吗？）千万别担心，最重要的是你有在学习，你需要的唯一衡量是你的努力程度。成绩只不过是虚荣的人用以吹嘘和慵懒的人所恐惧的无聊数字而已，而你既不虚荣也不慵懒。

Do your best in classes, but don’t let pressure get to you.Your mother and I have no expectations for your grades. If you graduateand learn something in your four years, we would feel happy. Your Columbia degree will take you far, even if you don’t graduate with honors. So please don’t give yourself pressure。During your last fewmonths in high school, you were so happy because there was little pressure and college applications are finished. But in the past few weeks, we saw you are beginning to worry (did you know you bite your nails when you are nervous?). Please don’t be worried.The only thing that matters is that you learned. The only metric you should use is that you tried. Grades are just silly letters that give the vain people something to brag, and the lazy people something to fear. You are too good to be either.

最重要的是在大学里你要交一些朋友，快乐生活。大学的朋友往往是生命中最好的朋友，因为在大学里你和朋友能够近距离交往。另外，在一块儿成长，一起独立，很自然地你们就会紧紧地系在一起，成为密友。你应该挑选一些真诚诚恳的朋友，跟他们亲近，别在乎他们的爱好、成绩、外表甚至性格。你在高中的最后两年已经交到了一些真正的朋友，所以尽可以相信自己的直觉，再交一些新朋友吧。你是一个真诚的人，任何人都会喜欢跟你做朋友的，所以要自信、外向、主动一点，如果你喜欢某人，就告诉她，就算她拒绝了，你也没有损失什么。以最大的善意去对人，不要有成见，要宽容。人无完人，只要他们很真诚，就信任他们，对他们友善。他们将给你相同的回报，这是我成功的秘密——我以诚待人，信任他人（除非他们做了失信于我的事）。有人告诉这样有时我会被占便宜，他们是对的，但是我可以告诉你：以诚待人让我得到的远远超过我失去的。在我做管理的18年里，我学到一件很重要的事——要想得到他人的信任和尊重，只有先去信任和尊重他人。无论是管理、工作、交友，这点都值得你参考。

Most importantly, make friends and be happy. College friends are often the best in life, because during college you are closer to them physically than to your family. Also, going through independence and adulthood is a natural bonding experience.Pick afew friends and become really close to them – pick the ones who are genuine and sincere to you. Don’t worry about their hobbies,grades, looks, or even personalities. You have developed some realfriendships in high school in your last two years, so trust your instinct, and make new friends. You are a genuine andsincereperson – anyone would enjoy being your friend, so beconfident,outgoing, and pro-active. If you think you like someone,tell her.You have very little to lose. Give people the benefit of the doubt;don’t stereotype and be forgiving. People are notperfect, so aslong as they are genuine and sincere, trust them andbe good to them. They will give back. This is my secret of success –that I am genuine with people and trust them (unless they dosomething tolose my trust). Some people tell me that occasionally Iwould betaken advantage of. They are right, but I can tell you thatthatloss is nothing compared to what I gained. In my last 18 years leading people, I have realized that only one thing matters –togain the trust and respect of others, and to do so, you need to trust and respect others first. Whether it is for management,work,or friendship, this is something you should ponder.

要和你高中时代的朋友保持联系，但是不要用他们来取代大学的友谊，也不要把全部的时间都花在老朋友身上，因为那样你就会失去交新朋友的机会了。

Do keep your high school friends, and stay connected to them,but do not use them as substitutes for college friendship, and donotspend too much time with them, because that would eat into your time to make new friends.

你还要早点开始规划你的暑假——你想做什么？你想呆在哪儿？你想学点什么？你在大学里学习是否会让你有新的打算？我觉得你学习艺术设计的计划很不错，你应该想好你该去哪儿学习相应的课程。我们当然希望你回到北京，但是最终的决定是你的。

Start planning for your summers early – what would you like todo?Where would you like to live? What would you like to learn?Whathave you learned in college that might change your mind? Ithinkyour plan of studying fashion is good, and you should decidewhereyou want to be, and get into the right courses. We of coursehopeyou come back to Beijing, but you should go where you think isbestfor you.

不管是暑假计划，功课规划，抑或是选专业，管理时间，你都应该负责你的人生。过去不管是申请学校、设计课外活动或者选择最初的课程，我都从旁帮助了你不少。以后，我仍然会一直站你身旁，但是现在是你自己掌舵的时候了。我常常记起我生命中那些令人振奋的时刻——在幼儿园决定跳级，决定转到计算机科学专业，决定离开学术界选择，决定回中国，决定选择Google，乃至最近选择创办我的新公司。有能力进行选择意味着你会过上自己想要的生活。生命太短暂了，你不能过别人想要你过的生活。掌控自己的生命是很棒的感觉，试试吧，你会爱上它的！

Whether it is summer-planning, or coursework planning, orpickinga major, or managing your time, you should take control of yourlife. In the past, I have helped you quite a bit, whether it is incollege application, designing your extracurricular activities,orpicking the initial coursework. I will always be there for you,but the time has come for you to be in the driver’s seat – this isyourlife, and you need to be in control. I will always remr theexhilarating feeling in my life – that I got to decide to skip kinder garten, that I got to decide to change to computersciencemajor, that I got to decide to leave academia for , that I got todecide to go to China, that I got to decide to go to Google,andmost recently, that I got to decide to start my own business.Being able to decide means you get to live the life that you want to.Life is too short to live the life others do or others want you.Being in control feels great. Try it, and you’ll love it!

我告诉你妈妈我在写这封信，问她有什么想对你说的，她想了想，说“让她好好照顾自己”，很简单却饱含着真切的关心——这一向是你深爱的妈妈的特点。这短短的一句话，是她想提醒你很多事情，比如要记得自己按时吃药，好好睡觉，保持健康的饮食，适量运动，不舒服的时候要去看医生等等。中国有句古语，说“身体发肤，受之父母，不敢毁伤，孝之始也”。这句话的意思用比较新的方法诠释就是说：父母最爱的就是你，所以照顾好自己就是孝顺最好的方法。当你成为母亲的那天，你就会理解这些。在那天之前，听妈妈的，你一定要好好照顾自己。

I told your mom I’m writing this letter, and asked what she wanted me to say. She thought and said: “just ask her to take care of herself.” Simple but deeply caring – that is how your mother is,and that is why you love her so much. In this simple sentence is her hope that you will become independent in the way you take careofyourself – that you will remr to take your medicine, that you will get enough sleep, that you will have a balanced diet, that you will get some exercise, and that you will go see a doctor whenever you don’t feel good. An ancient Chinese proverb says that the most important thing to be nice to your parents is to take care of yourself. This is because your parents love you so much, and that if you are well, they will have comfort. You will understand this one day when you become a mother. But in the meantime,please listen to your mother and take care of yourself.

大学是你自由时间最多的四年。大学是你第一次学会独立的四年。大学是可塑性最强的四年。大学是犯错代价最低的四年。

College is the four years where you have:· the greatest amount of free time.· the first chance to be independent.· the most flexibility to change.· the lowest risk for making mistakes.

所以，珍惜你的大学时光吧，好好利用你的空闲时间，成为掌握自己命运的独立思考者，发展自己的多元化才能，大胆地去尝试，通过不断的成功和挑战来学习和成长，成为融汇中西的人才。

So please treasure your college years – make the best of your free time, become an independent thinker in control of yourdestiny,evolve yourself into a bi-cultural talent, be bold to experiment,learn and grow through your successes andchallenges.

当我在2005年面对人生最大的挑战时，你给了我大大的拥抱，还跟我说了一句法语“bonnechance”。这句话代表“祝你勇敢，祝你好运！”现在，我也想跟你说同样的话，bonnechance，我的天使和公主，希望哥伦比亚成为你一生中最快乐的四年，希望你成为你梦想成为的人！

When I faced the greatest challenge and opportunity in my life in 2005, you gave me a big hug and said “bonne chance”, which means“good luck” and “good courage”. Now I do the same for you.Bonne chance, my angel and princess. May Columbia become the happiest four years in your life, and may you blossom into just what you dream to be.

爱你的， Love,

爸爸（和妈妈） Dad (& Mom)

读后札记：

                      妈妈想对你说，菡儿

很幸运的，我有了宝贝，天使般的公主，菡儿。李开复的拳拳爱女之心，殷殷可见，妈妈也有，爱女之心，共有。菡儿，妈妈也很想告诉你我的想法：以后，我的菡儿要成为展翅高飞的天使，能去多远就多远，实质上就是你能上世界著名大学，如哈佛、哥伦比亚大学，可爸爸说：不行，我要让他嫁在建水城里，舍不得让你出去。这是爸爸的私心，爸爸很爱你，是你们的你女情结。但妈妈认为，人的一生应该泛舟四海，是妈妈的雄心，不管怎样，妈妈就是要告诉你：要通过自己的勤奋和努力，考上自己心仪的大学，还想再说：一定要好好珍惜大学时光，大学是人一生中最重要的时光，人生的很多东西就在这里，这不仅是李开复对女儿说的，也是妈妈大学经历告诉你的，大学时光不是谈恋爱，而是激情与求知，梦想与追求。还是借李开复的话来表达妈妈的相法：“珍惜你的大学时光吧，好好利用你的空闲时间，成为掌握自己命运的独立思考者，发展自己的多元化才能，大胆地去尝试，通过不断的成功和挑战来学习和成长，成为融汇中西的人才。”人是要有追求的。如果有来生，妈妈一定要这样做，我想会很美的人生，人生真的很美，菡儿，在成长中，妈妈可能是私心，或许期望太高，但，希望你能感受，期望不是给你压力，而是让你领悟，当然，你有权选择自己将来的人生。

还有，交朋友，要交诚致、真心、有益的朋友，好好经营自己的人脉，用你的真诚和真心。人脉从某种程度来说，比人的学识、其它更重要。除了人的学识，还要有一条很好的人脉。在交朋友时，要有包容之心。人的感情，是一种投资，更是一份无比珍贵的财富。善等友情，珍惜友情，但不能把友情和亲情合二为一，是妈妈的教训所悟，当然，你的成长经历和妈妈是不同的，只希望你用心感悟。做事，一定要用心。我知道，无论何时、何地、何事，妈妈是你一生最忠诚、最可信赖的朋友，是最交心的朋友。请你想信我，我们不仅是母女，更是朋友。人生有几个心心相映的朋友，是很幸运。还是那句老话“酒逢知己千杯少”，妈妈祝愿你找到心心相映的朋友。

再有，还要说一件很重要的事，学会“规划”。规划是一种信念，更是一种能力。妈妈想做很多事，但不成，就因为，没有规划。从小学起，假期要做什么，兴趣要学什么，学习要怎样学，玩电脑、玩游戏玩怎么玩？都要有自己的规划，其实玩电脑游戏不是一件环事，是一种智力的锻炼，是一种学习后的调节，是一种精神放松，但不能投入。很多父母惧怕网络，恰恰相反，是人类不可阻挡的脚步，是学习和工作最好的工具，你要学会驾驭它，而不是进入其中，妈妈相信你。更希望你在这点认知上，要和妈妈契合，并做到。做好人生规划，就是自我管理的能力。做好自我管理，会让你学习和工作如虎添翼。

在结尾，我依然用这句话满含深情的话代表我的心意：“祝你勇敢，祝你好运！”我的天使和公主，希望你成为你梦想成为的人！

妈妈

于2010年7月23日记