科学网-王鸿飞的博客-情人节之不爱女人篇

情人节之不爱女人篇
情人节之不爱女人篇
2008.02.14
“marry a good woman”
何毓琪先生在他的《A Valentine Day Tribiute to My Wife 情人節献给我的终身伴侣》博文中说，他说他最重要的人生建言是“marry a good woman”。这当然是说给男生听的。作为男生，我深表赞同。
何先生博文链接：http://www.sciencenet.cn/blog/user_content.aspx?id=15663
“I shall never Let a Woman in My Life”
作为对何先生的补充，我想起了《My Fair Lady》中Professor Higgins的《Never Let a Woman in My Life》。这首歌也叫做《I'm An Ordinary Man》，虽然有些艺术夸张，但它从另一面告诉我们如果没有“marry a good woman”将是怎样的一个情况。
youtube上《I'm An Ordinary Man》视屏链接：http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GkVMQgkfM28
Cajal在《Advice for a Young Investigator》中的忠告
对于一个要做点正事的男人或女人，生活伴侣的问题尤为关键。对于一个科学家应该建立一个什么样的理想家庭，Santiago Ramon y Cajal在他1898年出版的《Advice for a Young Investigator》一书中的第六章Social Factors Beneficial to Scientific Work中专门有一节叫做The Investigator and His Family，谈及科学研究者和学者理想的家庭。
Amazon上Cajal的《Advice for a Young Investigator》介绍和链接：http://www.amazon.com/Advice-Young-Investigator-Bradford-Books/dp/0262181916
Cajal的话为什么值得一听呢？
研究神经科学的人不知道Golgi和Cajal，就像美国人不知道华盛顿一样。所Cajal的忠告是值得一听的。
Cajal的这本书，虽然1898年就出了第一版，可是翻译成英文在美国出版却是1999年的事。当然这并不表明它的西班牙语或德语或法语的版本在过去100年中仅被欧洲人阅读。现在翻译成英文出版，也说明其内容远未过时。我看到的是英文版，是出版后不久在Berkeley读博士的校友吉娜于2000年底寄给我的。我当时一看就被迷住，本书代表的100多年前以欧洲科学为代表的科学文化的成熟程度，是我们今天仍然难以比拟的。

Cajal在书中说：
Anxieties at home drain moral and physical strength from the work of research. The ideal university would be a monastery with monks consecrated for life to the study of nature, with few religious obligations to distract them.
这是说不仅家庭需要和谐，政治学习也要尽量少。Cajal又说：
Nevertheless, the austere life of a monk would be an intolerable sacrifice for the majority of scholars...If woman id evil, grant that she is a necessary one....
Although many would disagree, we believe that the man of science should be married and should be married and should face the pressures and responsibilities of family courageously.
He will not emulate the selfishness of Epicurus, who did not marry in an attempt to avoid cares and woes, nor the exaggerated refinement of Napoleon, whose only use for a woman was a nurse in od age. For th man of science, the aid of a wife is just as necessary in youth as in old age. A woman at one's side may be likened to a knapsack in battle: without the accessory one fights unencumbered, but after the battle, then what?
At this point we shall make only two suggestions: that the scholar bea in mind his own psychology before selecting a partner, and above all that he avoid at any cost letting others choose her for him....It is common knowledge that a happy home removes selfishness from the soul, ennobles the social instinct, stimulates lofty goals, and fortifies patriotism.
Cajal讨论了家庭的必要性和好的家庭的作用。然后Cajal又谈到家庭中不好的伴侣（100多年前主要是妻子）的坏处，甚至有点抱怨红颜祸水的味道。
The selection of a partner! Now we touch on a delicate point. What qualities should grace the young woman chosen by the man of science? This is an extremely serious question because it is undoubtedly true that the moral qualities of the wife are a decisive factor in the success of scientific work. Many are under the shadow of wives for whom they are unsuited-and at times society and even humanity as a whole suffers because of the scholar's wife. So many important projects have been interrupted by the selfishness of the young wife! So many careers have been thwarted because of the feminine vanity or capriciousness! So many illustrious professors have bowed their necks under the weight of the matrimonial yoke, becoming common seekers of gold, humbling themselves and emasculating their gifts with an insatiable desire to gether as many honors and awards as possible.
When excessive, even the most human and noble impulses of the wife become formidable enemies of scientific work.
我不用再在引用Cajal，有兴趣的朋友自己去看Cajal的书，其中还有很多有趣而且重要的内容。
不管怎么说，回到主题上来，如果没有找到一个可以成为伴侣的good woman或者man，我的建议是“patience is virtue.”
Cajal其人
Santiago Ramon y Cajal是现代神经科学研究最伟大的鼻祖之一，他是1906年诺贝尔医学与生理学奖的获得者，和他一起分享诺贝尔奖的是曾经反对Cajal的科学发现的Camillo Golgi。诺贝尔奖委员会对此奖项的颁奖词是“in recognition of their work on the structure of the nervous system”。
如果要了解这二人获奖的故事，请看诺贝尔奖网站上《How Golgi Shared the 1906 Nobel Prize in Physiology or Medicine with Cajal》文章。据说，Cajal实际上比Golgi的贡献更大，是他发明的方法确认了神经细胞的基本结构。
诺贝尔奖网站上《How Golgi Shared the 1906 Nobel Prize in Physiology or Medicine with Cajal》文章的链接：http://nobelprize.org/nobel_prizes/medicine/articles/grant/index.html
需要画蛇添足说明的是，Cajal的名字翻译成中文应该是卡哈尔，或卡哈，因为西班牙语中j的发音近似于h。以前看凤凰卫视上许戈辉女士采访硅谷San Jose（圣 何赛）的华裔市长，她把San Jose按英文发音成“圣 就思”，让我大吃一惊。别人不知道Jose是何赛我不奇怪，但北京外国语学院毕业的许戈辉不明白真的让我当时大吃一惊，另外凤凰卫视居然原样播了出来，更让我奇怪。不过，犯两次错误倒不打紧，但愿许戈辉是个“good woman”就万事大吉了。
最好别做哲学家
不过苏格拉底说过，好的婚姻仅给你带来幸福，不好的婚姻则可使你成为一位哲学家。现在很多人不结婚也可以生活在一起，所以苏格拉底的话中只要把婚姻二字改为伴侣，就天衣无缝。第一，这对那些婚姻不幸的人来讲，真是一个天大的安慰。第二，哲学家还是少一点好。
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《窈窕淑女》中I'm An Ordinary Man歌词
Well after all, Pickering
I'm an ordinary man
Who desires nothing more than an ordinary chance
To live exactly as he likes
And do precisely what he wants...
An average man am I, of no eccentric whim
Who likes to live his life, free of strife
Doing whatever he thinks is best, for him
Well... just an ordinary man...
But, let a woman in your life
And your serenity is through
She'll redecorate your home
From the cellar to the dome
And then go on to the enthralling fun of overhauling you
Let a woman in your life
And you're up against a wall
Make a plan and you will find
That she has something else in mind
And so rather than do either you do
Something else that neither likes at all
You want to talk of Keats and Milton
She only wants to talk of love
You go to see a play or ballet
And spend it searching for her glove
Let a woman in your life
And you invite eternal strife
Let them buy their wedding bands
For those anxious little hands...
I'd be equally as willing for
A dentist to be drilling than to ever let
a woman in my life
I'm a very gentle man, even tempered
And good natured who you never hear complain
Who has the milk of human kindness
By the quart in every vein
A patient man am I, down to my fingertips
The sort who never could, ever would
Let an insulting remark escape his lips
Very gentle man...
But, Let a woman in your life
And patience hasn't got a chance
She will beg you for advice
Your reply will be concise
And she will listen very nicely
and then go out and do exactly what she wants
You are a man of grace and polish
Who never spoke above a hush
All at once you're using language
That would make a sailor blush
Let a woman in your life
And you're plunging in a knife
Let the others of my sex
Tie the knot around their necks
I prefer a new edition of the Spanish Inquisition
Than to ever let a woman in my life
I'm a quiet living man
Who prefers to spend the evening in the silence of his room
Who likes an atmosphere as restful as an undiscovered tomb
A pensive man am I, of philosophical joys
Who likes to meditate, contemplate
Far for humanities mad inhuman noise
Quiet living man
But, let a woman in your life
And your sabbatical is through
In a line that never ends comes an army of her friends
Come to jabber and to chatter
And to tell her what the matter is with you
She'll have a booming boisterous family
Who will descend on you en mass
She'll have a large wagnarian mother
With a voice that shatters glass
Let a woman in your life
Let a woman in your life
Let a woman in your life
I shall never let a woman in my life
本文引用地址：http://www.sciencetimes.com.cn/m/user_content.aspx?id=15724